RONANCETOBER DAY 1
Here we goooo! A day late but here’s Ronancetober day 1: Upside down.
Credit to the prompts to the lovely @lionydoorin I hope to do as many of the days as possible.
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Nancy had always thought she knew exactly what life was supposed to be like. Then her reality had literally gotten turned upside down when monsters suddenly became real, and superpowers and death became part of her daily existence. When the town she had lived in all her life gained a second version of itself.
It was all literally upside down and stuck in time yet being there had Nancy feeling more alive and like herself than ever before. Who’d ever expect prissy little Nancy Wheeler to feel most herself with a sawed-off Winchester 1200? That Karen wheelers daughter, the definition of the nuclear family would resent every last one of her relationships with boys and would find the most meaning and comfort with her female companions.
Her life had been turned upside down and yet standing here in the old creel house, holding Robin Buckley’s hand Nancy felt more herself than ever. She almost wished she could just stay in this moment forever, not in the hell dimension but in this doorway. Holding the hand of the girl that had followed her shot in the dark, stood up for her plan without questioning it even if it involved clothes she hated and make-up she felt uncomfortable in.
Robin had turned Nancy’s life upside down more than any monster ever could. One moment Nancy thought that the calm affection and trust she had for Jonathan were what a relationship was supposed to be, what love was supposed to be. The next moment she found herself swept up in a rambling whirlwind of Robin Buckley with her raspy voice and her awkward yet fiery personality. The way she would always gravitate towards Nancy, ignoring either of their personal space in favour of soft, almost accidental touches and lingering glances.
Sometimes Nancy even found herself forgetting she even had a boyfriend, forgetting that Jonathan was supposed to be more to her than just a friend. She’d forget that she has no right to feel the hot burning of jealousy in her stomach whenever she saw Robin and Steve stick their heads together close or curl up next to each other. Forgot that Robin could never be hers.
There were moments though, little pockets of time and space where Nancy almost believed. Little moments where she thought that just maybe Robin shared her feelings, that Robin would reciprocate the tornado of emotions she brought up in Nancy with her mere presence.
Like when they sat down for movie nights with the party and Robin would deliberately push any of the kids aside to sit down next to her and fall asleep, curled into Nancy’s side, for once in her life sitting completely still. Nancy loved those little moments of just sitting with Robin, of just sharing space, existing together without any of the usual pain or trauma that came with their lives being turned upside down.
And maybe, just maybe Nancy thought, maybe it could be enough to just share these moments. Maybe she didn’t need to tell Robin her feelings, she could pretend to love Jonathan forever. But that wasn’t fair to either of them, not when Jonathan deserved so much more out of life than a girlfriend that only saw him as a best friend, a person to keep appearances up, a person to hide her feelings behind.
So, Jonathan and she talked for a long time, talked about the way their lives had changed, the way they had changed along with it. They talked and they broke up and they stayed friends, even if it was awkward for a while.
But still, Nancy could not imagine herself ever opening up about her feelings to Robin, could not imagine taking that last step if there was any chance of ruining what they had now.
Nancy Wheeler’s life had been turned upside-down twice but maybe the second time had made it all right again. Had made Nancy more herself than she had ever been even if it all came at a cost.
