cleaning fluff

I wanted to write fluff over the weekend, and @faslaidir requested cleaning related fluff, and since today seems like a day in dire need of fluff I’ve decided to post it. Modern!Thedas AU with our OT3 Three Day Weekend because why not. 

Ari/Kate/Cullen, PG-13. Sex is vaguely mentioned a few times.

Kate takes a moment to appreciate the sight of Ari in shorts, halfway under the sink, but is a bit confused by the bucket of cleaning supplies to her left. She came in none too quietly, but Ari still seems to be oblivious to her presence, humming along to whatever Tevinter music she has blasting in the living room. Kate drops her bag on the table, taking a step closer before making her presence known.

“…what the fuck are you doing?”

Ari curses loudly when she knocks her head against the bottom of the sink and crawls backwards out from under it, rubbing her head as she glowers up at Kate, standing above her with her arms crossed.

“I’m cleaning,” Ari says, holding up her rubber gloved hands, scrub brush held in one of them. “What else would I be doing under there?”

“You’re scrubbing the cupboard under the sink,” Kate says flatly, staring at her skeptically. “Why the fuck are you scrubbing the cupboard under the sink?”

Ari clambers up, grabbing the bucket in which she’d dumped everything that she had pulled out from the cupboard before sitting cross legged on the floor.

“Mia and Jamie are coming for dinner tomorrow,” she says by way of explanation, carefully arranging boxes of tools and cleaning supplies under the sink.

“I know, I’m coming too. And?” Kate says, pulling a chair off of the table so she can sit down on it.

“And their place is spotless,” Ari says, brandishing an electric drill at Kate. “They have two little ones and yet every time I’ve been there everything is sparkling. There’s not even any dust on the shelves!”

“Jamie is also a stay at home dad, and Mia has that bizarre military sense of neatness. You and Cullen both work full time,” she responds, trying to soothe her. “And I don’t understand how any of this led to you thinking that cleaning the cupboard under the kitchen sink was priority. Besides, they’re Cullen’s bloody siblings, shouldn’t he be the one cleaning?”

Ari sighs loudly, shoving a curl that’s escaped her bun back into place. She gets up, slamming the door shut in the process, and turns so she can lean against the sink.

“He’s the one who was so nervous about this whole thing. I had the cleaner come early this week, but apparently that wasn’t enough. He was halfway through bleaching every surface in the bathroom when he got called away for a work emergency. He made those anxious puppy eyes at me and promised me all sorts of things if I finished cleaning, so now I have his anxiety and cleaning duties,” she explains, snapping her gloves. “And Attis always went on anxiety fuelled cleaning sprees and I hired someone to help me out with it pretty much as soon as he moved out, so I have no idea what I’m doing. I mopped the kitchen though! That’s a good step, right?”

“…so you’ve spent your day off scrubbing the damn floor because Cullen has anxiety and offered you sexual favours,” Kate sums up, and rubs her face. “I can’t believe that out of anyone he could have asked, he picked the person who decided that the most suitable course of action was to let the bees living in the piano stay there.”

“Not evicting the piano bees was a mutual decision,” Ari countered, pulling off her gloves. “Now are you going to just sit there and watch me clean, or are you going to help?”

Kate pretended to think it through, giving Ari a chance to sit down on her lap, looping her arms around her neck.

“Please? They haven’t been here yet and you know how important it is to Cullen that they see that he’s in a good place,” she says, toying with the ends of Kate’s ponytail, “And apparently a good, stable place with needs spotless floors.”

“Your hands smell like rubber,” Kate responds, earning her a scowl from Ari. “Dammit. Fine, I’ll help clean. But only if you share those favours with me.”

Ari grins, giving Kate a quick kiss and a wicked smile.

“I’m sure that can be arranged,” she says as she hops off her lap and points to the hall closet. “There’s a vacuum in there. The rugs in the living room and the hall need vacuuming.”

“And you?”

“I have to get all the plants off of the porch piano and put them back into the bathroom now that the bleach smell has dissipated,” Ari says, gesturing to the porch. “And then sweep the porch. Want to trade?”

“Oh fuck no, you can go deal with the piano bees. I don’t think they like me,” Kate answered quickly, viciously shaking her head as she dragged the vacuum out of the closet.

“If Sera can pass out on top of the piano without any issues, they’re not going to hurt you for taking some plants down. Suit yourself though!” Ari shouted back as she headed onto the porch, returning moments later with a flower pot under each arm.

“Don’t spill dirt anywhere! I’m not vacuuming these damn carpets twice.”

Cullen shuts the door quietly behind him, toeing off his shoes and dropping his keys into the bowl by the door before stepping into the living room. Ari and Kate are napping on the sofa in a pile of blankets, a nature documentary about the Frostback Mountains playing quietly on the television in the background. Other than the pile of blankets, everything is immaculate. There are even coasters under their wine glasses. He’s smiling down at them fondly when Ari stirs, blinking awake. She smiles back at him, stretching her arms over her head.

“Hey Puppy,” she yawns, rubbing her eyes. “Emergency over? Did you bring food?”

“Of course,” he answers as Ari sits up, dislodging Kate from her shoulder so she can lean up for a kiss. “It’s the least I could do. Although when I asked for your help I certainly didn’t expect all this. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this place look so clean.”

“It was important to you,” Ari says, running her thumb over his jaw, tone leaving no room for argument. “We were happy to help.”

“You should see the cupboard under the sink,” Kate grumbles into a pillow. “It’s fucking spotless.”

Ari rolls her eyes, untangling herself from the blankets so she can get up, stopping to drag Kate into a sitting position. “C’mon, we’re eating on the porch. No peanut sauce on the sofa.”

When Kate stumbles onto the porch a few minutes later, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ears, Cullen and Ari are already on the porch swing, takeout containers open on the table. She settles in on Cullen’s left side, feet tucked under her, and takes the box he offers to her. They eat in comfortable silence for a few moments, Ari gently rocking the swing forwards and back with one foot.

“You know they’re going to approve, right?” Kate says quietly, and Cullen gives her a soft smile.

“I think you two have guaranteed that,” he replies. “I didn’t know you could get floors to sparkle like that outside of ads.”

“And if they’re not happy with the sparkling floors, we’re charming as all fuck,” Kate says, brandishing a piece of chicken at the piano at the end of the porch. “Or you can distract them with the damn piano bees. Have you successfully taught them to read music yet?”

Cullen laughs, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “You are both undeniably charming as all fuck, and I am very thankful for you both.”

“We’ll remind you of that tomorrow when you’re stressing out over the fact that we’re both bloody useless in the kitchen and Mia and Jamie are arriving at any moment,” Kate mumbles into her noodles.

“I can chop things and you can be on salad duty,” Ari suggests.  

“It is considerably more difficult to burn the kitchen down if you stay away from the stove,,” Cullen teases, and Ari jabs him with her chopsticks.

“That was one time, and was mostly Kate’s fault,” she protests. “She’s horribly distracting.”  

“You certainly weren’t complaining at the time,” Kate says, lifting one eyebrow, “but I’ll be sure to keep all distractions confined to tomorrow morning.”

“Promises, promises,” Ari sighs, staring wistfully into the distance.

“…you’re both terrible,” Cullen grumbles, trying to suppress a smile.

“Yep,” Ari and Kate say in tandem, and his frown breaks into a grin as he laughs.

“If you’re distracted all morning, you’ll have no time to worry,” Ari adds, to which Kate hums an affirmative. “Besides, I believe we have some favours to cash in.”

“We? I distinctly remember offering only one of you favours in exchange for help,” Cullen protests.

“And Ari exchanged some of those favours for my help. Capitalism at it’s fucking finest.”

Cullen sighs dramatically. “Well, who am I to argue with capitalism? But no cashing in favours until the morning; I spent all day day fighting arguing with Cassandra. All I want to do is sleep.”

“Good, it feels like my arms are going to fall off. Who needs to go to the gym when you can just scrub things all day?” Ari agrees, getting up. Cullen is already cleaning up the takeout boxes when Kate makes it to her feet.

“Yes. First sleep. Favours later,” she mumbles, following Ari inside. “Best plan.”