12:22am 07/11
I can’t sleep, daunted by the thoughts of another four years lost under a feckless future. Inside my mind I am vividly seeing the fracture within me the last time we all went through this. The irreparable distance that grew between my parents and I. The grueling effort to see the good in people in a collapsing society. The endless battle against disinterest in loving the wider world around me. Frantically trying to appreciate the beauty on a dying planet ruled by fully gorged charlatans.
I am at pains with the insight that none of what I think matters, matters all that much to most people. On one hand all I really want is to shy away from them, remove all technology from my own and vanish into the abyss of a quiet and small world. On the other a tempest swells, frustrated and angry at the banality of living in the modern age, contemplating leaving the safety of home, again, to defend what I know to be true. --------------
A ship arrived in port a few years ago after a long tour. It’s crew disembarked, ready to stay a while. It built shelter, which became their homes. In the distance storms passed on the horizon, rarely overhead. Other ships arrived and left. The crew weathered and weary by years of toil found happiness, but grew uneasy knowing everything they could want was within reach. They wondered why the gnawing in them never ceased. Would they again find the passion for the pull of the sea? Or would they linger and wither surrounded by comfort and ease?