@ohsweetcrepes / ohsweetcrepes.tumblr.com
i want to raise hp lovecraft from the dead for a couple of hours and show him The Shape of Water because i think it would make him really mad
that universal feeling of wanting to perform necromancy to raise hp lovecraft from his grave just to torture him with shit we know he’d hate is a big fucking mood
Okay so we have a white American exchange student in our class and he’s kind of a massive dick.
We were in class and he made a fried chicken and watermelon joke to a Kaurna classmate and the whole table was just like ????
Like we all *knew* something was fucked up, from the tone of voice and body/face language but the association between black people and fried chicken and watermelon isn’t a thing here? I sort of roughly know about it from tumblr: enough to know that his dude was a fuckwit.
Everyone just stared back and were like “We don’t understand can you explain it?” And he started off repeating and laughing and then as we kept pressing for an explanation he was hella embarrassed and kept saying that “It’s fine, don’t worry about it, it was just a joke”
Until one of my table mates went “Oh, maybe he doesn’t understand it himself - I googled this, let me explain it to you AMERICANDUDE and she read off a whole definition while maintaining intense eye contact and and it was like watching a premeditated MURDER.
He wasn’t fried, but roasted
It’s genuinely amazing to me that a Mediocre White Man can spend 20 years creating shows and movies that treat bigotry as a joke, but because the motherfucker donated some money to LGBTQIA groups and stumped for Bernie, he’s hailed as a progressive.
Seth MacFarlane created shows that dealt heavily in anti-black racism, antisemitism, ableism, Ace Ventura-levels of transphobia, rampant and vicious misogyny, normalized rape culture, abuse as a joke, pedophilia as a joke, and violent Islamophobia. He actually fought really hard for a scene where Quagmire rapes Marge Simpson to be aired on live TV – FOUGHT FOR IT, TOOTH AND NAIL – and is still angry that FOX wouldn’t let him get away with it.
He taught generations of young white guys that this shit was okay to say and believe because it was “just a joke” – hell, I’ll bet there’s a good Venn diagram between Family Guy fans and Trump supporters – and anyone who criticized him was just some boring, humorless PC police asshole.
And now people want to call his poorly-written, aggressively bigoted shit “satire” and give him brownie points for *appearing* progressive instead of actually being progressive.
Like, please demand more from your progressive allies than some fucking rich, white jackass who screams “Bigotry is cool! (Kidding)” in all his work, and does the bare fucking minimum every few years to be progressive.
We honestly can’t imagine who would win in this epic Avengers and One Punch Man crossover battle.
“Saitama vs Thanos” by RoBs0n.
The infinity stones can be cracked you know
They’re just overly fancy gems, Satima has broken tougher stuff than that
If anyone’s answer is anything other than “Saitama knocks Thanos’ head clean off his shoulders” then they’re wrong
Saitama breaks Thanos’ bling bling arm then straight mollywops him for an hour.
Powerlevel hypotheticals involving Saitama always strike me as kind of a wasted effort. Or at least moreso than every powerlevel argument is by default? The point is he’s not even in the Goku/Superman category, he’s in the Roger Rabbit category; he’s however strong he has to be for it to be funny when the bad guy dies.
^ This. This is the correct answer.
Thanos would come to know the true meaning pain and defeat should he ever make the mistake of fighting Saitama
I remember when I first found out the truth about “Somali pirates” I got chills because of how horrific the truth was and how insanely creepily well the media had twisted the situation. Every single fucking article making it seem like these “pirates” were just after money or something holding innocent people hostage and I never gave it a second thought, why would I? There was no indication that people were trying to legitimately fight off disgusting imperialism that left nuclear waste in their waters, that over 300 people have died from radiation sickness, that Europeans have been stealing Somalia’s seafood because they overfished their own waters and the indigenous fisherman are starving and so these “pirates” emerged to deal with those stealing their country’s natural resources. The truth is enough to make anyone sick to their stomachs.
This is a great article about the truth about Somali pirates, in case anyone wants a source.
“Whether the Andrea Gail rolls, pitch-poles, or gets driven down, she winds up, one way or another, in a position from which she cannot recover. Among marine architects this is known as the zero-moment point – the point of no return.” –Sebastian Junger, “The Perfect Storm”
Posts like this aren’t my usual fare, but there’s a lot of readers on Tumblr. So y’all might be interested – or, if not, you really should be.
On Monday, this went down:
That’s the bloodless, matter-of-fact, ho-hum business event way of describing it. Let me paint you a different picture.
On Monday morning, every single Barnes & Noble location – that’s 781 stores – told their full-time employees to pack up and leave. The eliminated positions were as follows: the head cashiers (those are the people responsible for handling the money), the receiving managers (the people responsible for bringing in product and making sure it goes where it should), the digital leads (the people responsible for solving Nook problems), the newsstand leads (the people responsible for distributing the magazines), and the bargain leads (the people responsible for keeping up the massive discount sections). A few of the larger stores were able to spare their head cashiers and their receiving managers, but not many.
Just about everyone lost between 3 and 7 employees. The unofficial numbers put the total around 1,800 people.
People.
We’re not talking post-holiday culling of seasonal workers. This was the Red Wedding. Every person laid off was a full-time employee. These were people for whom Barnes & Noble was a career. Most of them had given 5, 10, 20 years to the company. In most cases it was their sole source of income.
There was no warning.
But it gets worse.
Oh my gosh!?
Yo, signal boost this.
Massive respect for her
Damn I need to see more of this. She got right with whitey, “not in front of my kids”.
He had the wrong mf one that day
white men every time. stay off-base and out of time
I love how she also wouldn’t let him interrupt her.
“We believe the American people need to decide who is going to make this appointment rather than a lame duck president,” said Majority Whip John Cornyn.
Sen. Lindsey Graham said that “there’s no use starting a process that’s not going to go anywhere and we are going to let the next president decide,” when asked why there would be no hearings.
“Presidents have a right to nominate just as the Senate has its constitutional right to provide or withhold consent. In this case, the Senate will withhold it,” McConnell said. “The Senate will appropriately revisit the matter after the American people finish making in November the decision they’ve already started making today.”
To Congressional Republicans, but particularly to you three hog cocks:
Fuck you.
Your Congress is already legendary in doing the least work in the least number of work days of any Congress since the 18th century, and your sole aspiration in life is to drive yourselves to exhaustion in order to do even less. You know the arguments against, you know the morality against, you know the most base humanity against, but you still proceed in receding because you cannot abide that a black man has more power than you or your bloodlines ever, ever, ever will.
Furthermore, fuck you.
You squalling snotty children in leather geriatric bodies, you melting homunculi of blind loyalty, you feeble furious fear-fellating fanatics, your behavior, your choices, your exercises of free agency, your actions are why you have wrought your own trump, why you are without a future. I curse you to live long enough to see your precious patriotic Reagan-party conservative continuity disintegrate. I curse you to linger thirty more years in existential dread as you watch the world do far better when it forgets your very name.
There is no profanity eloquent enough to condemn you and your entropic kind to the flea-shit dust of the history that you so proudly stand athwart. So go take turns fucking and eating out a goblin shark, you molerat-faced white trash.
Additionally, fuck you.
Reblogging, so you folks can get a good look at who is actually “destroying America”, but also for my friend Jack’s commentary, whose craft in profanity rivals both the Bard and Dennis Leary.
God bless Scotland.
I’m looking through the replies to this tweet and my god, I love my people. Bin the fud
i just want to highlight the best responses
@PaulGoodbrand: “Naw, pal. We jist take nae shite, ya fuckin wankhandle.”
@banjokingbenice: “whit’s the matter, big man, cannae tak a wee bit o “furious retribution”?”
@qsilverfox: “Come and find out. You epic skidmark.”
@ronnoclligam: “hopefully you n all your misogynist pals get plugged”
@DannyBhoyDGL: “Im going to try my best to find out when you are here and book a day off work to play keep ups with your chin.”
@LisaHarrisBoys: “Glasgow is a wonderfully friendly place . Most of its inhabitants would be delighted to give you a Glasgow Kiss. Just wait and see !”
@MW988: “No but please do come I cant wait for a bunch of 14 year old girls to smash your face in.”
@GazMac77: “”Tiny cocked Internet cockwomble fucking leathered round George Square by angry Glaswegian burds”…..”
@abigdoob: “Wee tip. Glasgow is an English enclave. Locals will accept you ig you refer to Scotland as England, & love it if you do their accent”
@IanTrash: “may your next shite be a hedgehog”
COCKWOMBLE
I’m in fucking danger guys. He wants to take out the amendment that makes immigrants’ children a U.S. citizen and deport those families where the parents are illegal. Please stop supporting him as a joke. Please stop thinking that his racism and sexism is funny. Take this upcoming presidential election serious because now many families are in danger. Please I’m not kidding, I’m scared now of this excuse of a human.
5 better actresses for Tiger Lily, who aren’t Rooney Mara by Bubblegum magazine on blogspot
Of course they cast a white woman.
i have not seen anything at all about what’s actually happening down here in australia at the moment despite general sly digs at our government (n while thats all cool n appreciated) im gonna take 5 min of yr time to tell yu about whats really happening right now in 2015 in australia
get angry. share this with everyone you know. just bc its happening in that land that is so comically far away with weird animals doesnt make it any less real. this is happening, these are people we are talking about. speak up, this is not okay.
as an art historian, may i just say: fuck banksy.
instead of banksy, the white guy who has been funded and coddled by the elite as the darling of the circle-jerking art white male art world, TRY:
”Troublemaker”? That’s the only word they could find?
I think Murderer or Terrorist would be more appropriate.
A violent, threatening, cold-blooded, racist murderer gets the “kids gloves” treatment from the media.
