Extreme Rules 2012 - Predictions

John Cena vs Brock Lesnar - idk what their stipulation is. idec about this.

Lesnar will probably win this. It'd be pretty pointless if he lost his first match back, right?

CM Punk (c) vs Chris Jericho - Chicago Street Fight - WWE Championship

Um, I'm not sure here. This could go either way but I'm leaning towards Jericho here? Chicago Street Fight... In Chicago... The crowd reaction if Punk lost would be insane and it'd be refreshing (and make this feud more purposeful) if Jericho got one over Punk today, only for Punk to come back fighting? Or will Punk just finally end this feud and retain? Idk.

Sheamus (c) vs Daniel Bryan - 2 Out Of 3 Falls - World Heavyweight Championship

Sheamus will, obviously, retain. Imagine if AJ makes an appearance for "moral support" for Bryan, which costs him the final fall, haha. I expect Sheamus to tap out to the Yes-lock to give Bryan one fall but ultimately, Sheamus will retain. Which is kinda unfortunate... Had the Mania match been a real match, I wouldn't care so much but... :(

Big Show (c) vs Cody Rhodes - ??? - Inter-Continental Championship

Cody should never have dropped the title to Big Show. Big. Fucking. Mistake. This match is pointless. This hasn't done Cody any good. I expect Big Show to retain.

Randy Orton vs Kane - What was it? No Holds Barred? Idk - Dumb Filler Feud

Regardless of the stipulation, Orton will win. Who even fucking cares about this match? Oh yeah, that's right. No one.

Santino Marella (c) vs The Miz - United States Championship (PRE-SHOW MATCH)

Santino will retain. No question.

Is that all the matches on the card? I'll expect some kind of diva's segment? (Is there a diva's match already booked or?) Maybe a match (probably against Kelly Kelly) booked during the show with Nikki Bella retaining her title. I'm  kinda sorta hoping for a Kharma return since she debuted at Extreme Rules... It'd be appropriate for her to return here, right? Didn't Brie Bella have it this time last year too? Hahaha.

We'll probably get some random, lame backstage segment with Laurinaitis and Eve poking fun at Teddy and Aksana will turn up and blah blah. Though if Cesaro, by some miracle, makes an appearance in that segment, I am willing to overlook it, despite it being completely inappropriate for a PPV...

Whatever. I'm not looking forward to this too much. I don't care much for whatever's on the card. Honestly, the only match I really care about, storyline-wise, is Bryan/Sheamus. Punk/Jericho should be a great wrestling match though.

Watched Smackdown,

I'm just going to say once again that it needs to be live. I didn't read spoilers this week but what also annoys me is the pumped in fake noise. It sounds awful. Stop it.

Daniel Bryan's promo was great, haha. Ricky and Berto's appearance was wonderful. Big Show... Not so much. Cody in jeans is always wonderful though. That being said, him losing to Khali and barely getting one over Show isn't making him look good going into Extreme Rules.

The diva's match between Nikki and Alicia Fox wasn't bad at all. Y'know how Kharma debuted at Extreme Rules? What if tomorrow, y'know...

AJ slapping Kaitlyn was A+. I was just watching like, "Bitch please. You're with Derrick Bateman. EASY FOR YOU TO SAY", haha.

Orton RKO-ing Mahal was dumb. Is anyone even following his crappy angle with Kane? Really? That interview was just BOOOOOOOOOR-ING.

CESARO WAS WONDERFUL. THE FEELINGS... HIS ENTRANCE... Why did they give him a proper entrance if it was a try out match though? He beat Tyson Kidd, as expected. It was a short match, as expected, unfortunately. That uppercut at the end was brutal. But when Aksana was glued to him, omg. And Teddy's face when she kissed him... Hilarious. Can't say we didn't see this coming.

Eve as Laurinaitis's assistant whatsit thingy is perfect. She's so annoying and seems to patronising and crap, it's wonderful.

Another tag team champion sighting! That's twice this week! A W is also awesome. I like him.

It's also funny because I actually find Titus O'Neil entertaining now. He and Darren Young make a good team. I used to hate Titus but he's been pretty decent as of late. And they won another match! This time against Yoshi :( and Zeke (who cares?).

I skipped through most of the main event though. Whoops~ Sheamus obviously won and he and Bryan had a bit of a staredown. I hope Bryan pins him/makes him tap out AT LEAST ONCE tomorrow.

plz

So overall, I enjoyed the show?

Anyway, I'm a month, A WHOLE MONTH, behind on ROH. I'm halfway through Showdown in the Sun Night 1 right now. Watching Coleman & Alexander vs Haas & Benjamin. Yayayayayay :D

EDIT: Totally forgot about Ryback. Standard squash. At least there was more focus on the ring than The Usos backstage? Jacob Kaye was wonderful, haha. Poor guy. Great promo though! :')

Wrestlemania 28 - Predictions

Epico & Primo (c) vs Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel vs The Usos – Triple Threat Tag Team Title Match

So this is the pre-show match. I expect this to be fucking magnificent just by looking at the names alone. A title change is very highly unlikely. I’d like to see Epico and Primo retain and maybe continue a feud of some kind with these teams… Though I’m disappointed Reks and Hawkins aren’t in this. :(

Team Johnny (Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, The Miz) vs Team Teddy (R-Truth, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, The Great Khali, Booker T, Zack Ryder) – Winner Becomes GM of Raw and Smackdown

I guess the teams are slightly more even now, especially since Christian had to be removed. I’m still thinking Team Johnny will win and I think, storyline-wise, it probably gives creative more to work with? Khali isn’t exactly a great asset for Team Teddy… Is this an elimination match or just a standard tag team match? I’m assuming it won’t be given much time and it’ll just be a normal one? The only person on Team Johnny I can see getting pinned is Drew... And I'd rather that didn't happen! :') I’m giving this to Team Johnny, yeah. They have the stronger team.

Beth Phoenix & Eve Torres vs Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos

Ah yes… This match. I’d like to see Beth and Eve win for fairly obvious reasons but I think it’s safe to assume this “celebrity” Maria Menounos and her partner, Kelly Kelly, will pick up a victory here. It’ll be an awful outcome because either the Divas champion gets pinned or Eve does and she’s been on such a roll lately, you don’t want to ruin that.

Randy Orton vs Kane

Is this even a valid question? D’you really think Orton will lose at Wrestlemania? This “feud” with Kane is pure filler and he’s been killing him in the “build-up”. I’m not expecting a particularly entertaining match and I 100% expect Orton to come away with a victory here.

Cody Rhodes (c) vs Big Show – Intercontinental Championship

This, again, feels like some kind of filler. I feel like Cody/Goldust could have worked much better in terms of storyline. Cody should retain his title here. Didn’t he beat Khali the other week? Not that I’m saying Khali’s all mighty and crap but y’know, size and all…

Daniel Bryan (c) vs Sheamus – World Heavyweight Championship

So I think this match could go either way. A few weeks ago, I’d have said Sheamus, hands down. I’m still sort of leaning towards Sheamus but considering they fucked up advertising and essentially spoiled that Sheamus would win the title tonight, they may have changed their minds? Or they could have gone one step further and thought, “Haha, they’re going to think we’ve changed our minds so we won’t!” ;) What am I doing? Hahaha. Yeah, this should be a great match. It’d be fucking amazing to see Bryan retain and start celebrating and chanting, “YES!” into the next match, oh my God. I fully expect “YES” chants to fill the stadium, regardless of who wins!

The Undertaker vs Triple H

This one’s a no brainer. Triple H isn’t breaking that streak. The Undertaker’s got this. HBK wins either way!

CM Punk (c) vs Chris Jericho – WWE Championship

Again, this could go either way. I’m leaning towards Jericho winning tonight. I don’t know why. I just am. I expect this match, wrestling-wise, to steal the show. These two just cannot go wrong. THE FANS WIN! ;) Yeah, I’m going with Jericho methinks.

John Cena vs The Rock

Cena has to win this. I’m quite interested to see how exactly this match will play out in terms of crowd interaction and how they’ll interact with each other, whether the match will be completely clean etc.

Hopefully, the rumours I’ve heard about a “trilogy” aren’t true. This ends tonight and, I hope, with a victory for Cena.

Raw - 12th March 2012

Since I’m going until Wrestlemania 28 without being negative about WWE, I’m not going to be rating shows out of 10 either. So here’s Madi’s 100% Positive Raw “Review”!

Where do I even start?

The Doctor of Thuganomics returned to open Raw and I marked out. Cena rapped about Rock all decked out in his old gear. This was great and it was a complete surprise but it was great. The delivery was pretty much spot on and there were some hilarious references in there. Don't you just miss that theme song? WURD LYF~

Sheamus defeated Dolph Ziggler in what was easily the best match of the night. Daniel Bryan and AJ were in the sky box, looking down. Bryan brushed off Matthews after he questioned his behaviour towards AJ the previous week. Hey, Bryan was looking all cleaned up, sitting there like a champ. The match was good. That welt on Sheamus's back looked horrible, especially since he's so pale. The dropkick on the outside from Ziggler looked great. There was a point or two where I thought Ziggler might, by some chance, have the match but as expected, Sheamus was victorious and rightfully so! He's looking good going into Wrestlemania. Why doesn't Ziggler have a big, epic match for Mania though?!

On a side note, I feel like Dolph Ziggler should get an award of some kind for having the best trunks. Countless numbers.

We were supposed to have a mixed tag team match consisting of Santino Marella & Aksana vs David Otunga and a partner. Thankfully, we weren't subjected to Aksana's awful in ring work and got a handicap match instead. Santino faced Otunga and Mark Henry and of course, lost. Henry was announced as a member of Team Laurinaitis for this 12-man tag team match taking place at Wrestlemania. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth attempted to take out Henry but he laid them out. I guess those two will be with Santino on Team Long then? This built up well towards the match without taking too much TV time, which was good.

Zack and Eve are backstage. Zack is afraid she's playing him but they decide to be "friends with benefits". Wooaahh! Beth Phoenix turns up and she and Eve exchange a line or two. It wasn't much but at least we got some Eve, which was good. We saw more of what's happening between her and Zack and we got an appearance from the Divas Champion! Finally!

However, I hope we don't get a divas tag team match at Wrestlemania though. They were hinting towards it but... God, please don't let that happen. These Madusa/Beth rumours need to be true.

The Miz is told he can only be on Team Laurinaitis if he beats CM Punk later. So I'm assuming his losing streak will actually go somewhere, right?

We got another return! This time, The Funkasaurus! Can I just say I've missed seeing Brodus, Naomi & Cameron on Raw? Brodus beat Jinder Mahal relatively quickly. I was more entertained by the entrance and post-match celebrations though.

Shawn Michaels cuts a promo and calls out The Undertaker. HBK is pissed at Taker for looking down on him as a failure but Taker suggests that maybe this is a seed being planted by Triple H. The promo got particularly good when they addressed the fact that HBK is the special guest referee and he has a lot of control in the match at Wrestlemania despite not wrestling. I thought HBK's delivery, towards the end particularly, was really good when he talked about still having an opportunity to end The Undertaker's streak even if his career had been ended by Taker.

When he leaves, Triple H comes out, says nothing (thank God) and sends the DX chops round Taker's way before also leaving. Classy, right? Hahaha.

Minimal words from Triple H in its own would make for a good segment but the exchanges between HBK and Taker were great, HBK especially, in my opinion. I'm predicting HBk screws over HHH at Mania... I hope.

We got a guest announcer in the form of an actor, James Roday. I liked him, okay. He seems like a fan, which is cool. CM Punk defeated The Miz in Miz's hometown of Cleveland, furthering Miz's losing streak. The match was pretty short but that wasn't the focus.

The focus was Chris Jericho's promo after the match. Jericho was on the tron and said he had a little dark secret of Punk's to expose. This. Was. Great.

It was pretty mild compared to what it could have been if WWE wasn't (inconsistently) PG but I enjoyed it. Jericho divulged the secret of CM Punk's alcoholic father and forced the idea that alcohol is "in [Punk's] blood", that it's a part of him and that soon, after he loses at Wrestlemania, he'll cave into those desires to consume that poison and he'll end up just like his drunk of a father. I have to hand it to Punk, his reaction to Jericho was A+. He looked so genuinely shocked... Is that the right word? I can't even think of the word. I'm going to sound clever and say Punk's reaction was ineffable but you could almost feel what Punk would be feeling. I hope this feud goes for a while after Mania, at least.

I know there's been a lot of comments on the internet about this promo segment. I enjoyed it. Remember, all of this is scripted. Jericho isn't purposely going out of his way to offend Punk. Punk has been through more brutal promos regarding his family, alcohol and his background in the past so don't get the wrong impression. Just enjoy the product we're being given. Plus it's getting Punk more over and getting Jericho more heat.

David Otunga's services as a lawyer are advertised. It was corny but it made me laugh. I don't mind Otunga in this kind of non-wrestler role at all. He can be entertaining, especially with John Laurinaitis, which is kind of ironic...

Randy Orton beat Jack Swagger with, guess what? Yes, the RKO! Both guyson their own are great in ring performers. Kane's music plays but he's nowhere to be found. Being 100% positive and all, I'll leave it at that.

To close the show, we got a "Rock Concert". I see what you did there. It was basically Rock singing about sleeping with Cena's mom etc etc. There were some good lines in there but as usual, Rock had to throw in those "usual" lines he uses about Cena. There was this little karaoke thing where Rock tried to get everyone to sing "We Will Rock You"... But hey, the Cleveland crowd ate it up and Rocky was loving it so whatever. Good for you, Rock.

Next week's Raw has Mark Henry vs John Cena scheduled as well Triple H, Undertaker and Shawn Michaels being advertised for an "End of an Era" segment.

Smackdown - 6th Jan 2012 - 6/10

Smackdown opened with the Inter-Continental title match between Booker T and Cody Rhodes. It’s nice to have a show that opens with a match rather than a 20 minute promo, isn’t it. Cody defeated Booker to retain his title. At one point, Booker hit the scissor kick and for a moment, I thought he’d won but Cody managed to kick-out, much to Booker’s shock (as was evident on his face, as usual). Cody eventually won with the Beautiful Disaster kick after avoiding an axe kick from Booker. It was an odd finish to see Booker get pinned like that. It wasn’t even with Cross Rhodes but I guess it makes Cody look like a stronger competitor. I’m glad to see Cody retain the title. I’m hoping he holds onto it past Wrestlemania. Anyway, the match was decent, the crowd seemed to be reasonably into it, particularly for the opener.

Backstage, there’s a confrontation between Cody and “Dustin”. There’s a hint at a match between the brothers where Cody mocks him, saying he’s a joke but he’ll become a laughing stock if he returns to his Goldust gimmick for another go in the ring. Just like Booker. Unfortunately, it looks almost as though WWE are aiming for his match to take place before Mania. Cody essentially makes it clear he will surpass his father, Dusty’s, status.

Zack Ryder is backstage with Teddy Long, saying he’s too busy as the United States Champion to fulfil his role as his assistant. Wow. WWE finally acknowledge this again?! For a moment, I thought it would be like the Anonymous Raw GM and just never be mentioned again. He says he has a replacement and Drew turns up. Teddy mistakes him for the replacement until Santino turns up. I love Santino. Santino advises Teddy to consider firing Drew. Instead, he puts the pair in a match against each other. If Drew wins, he may not get fired. If Santino wins, he will become the new assistant. Aksana turns up and Santino amuses me.

There’s a backstage segment with AJ and Alicia Fox. This was one of the most awkward and uncomfortable things I’ve ever had to experience in my life. Daniel Bryan is apparently AJ’s official boyfriend. Yeah, because his storylines with the Bellas and Gail really went somewhere, right? Bryan turns up and assures AJ he’ll beat the Big Show. Meanwhile, I was cringing the whole time. Please avoid backstage segments like this in the future, WWE. Thanking you.

Hornswoggle defeated Heath Slater in an Over the Top Rope challenge. This was basically a waste of time. Unless Hornswoggle actually wins the Royal Rumble, I couldn’t care less about this. Why not put this time into something that should actually be on TV? Heath Slater starts to attack Hornswoggle until Justin Gabriel makes the save. Shouldn’t this Slater v Gabriel rivalry have been brought up and extended a few months ago?

Hunico defeats Ted DiBiase. During Hunico and Kamacho’s entry to the ring, they talk about how they don’t appreciate not being invited to DiBiase’s Posse Parties. I think there’s a reason for that, guys. The match was decent but forgettable. Hunico did, however, use a nice pin to pick up the win. It looked a little awkward in that he didn’t appear to be certain of what he was doing. It initially looked like a submission hold until the referee began to count to three. It looked good though. Again, I don’t really see the purpose in this match and the previous one. Perhaps it would have been better had they been matches to determine competitors for the Royal Rumble? At least they would be serving some kind of legitimate purpose.

Wade Barrett comes out to the ring and cuts a promo on how he took out Randy Orton. I think this pretty much confirmed that Randy Orton will make a “surprise” entry at the Royal Rumble, in his hometown of St. Louis, Missouri and win to contend for the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 28. Yay(!) Sheamus interrupts Barrett and continues his claim that he will be victorious at the PPV. Then Jinder Mahal interrupts. I don’t see where this Sheamus/Jinder “feud” has arisen from. It’s like they’re having Sheamus awkwardly floating around what with Christian injured. Real imaginative, Creative(!) Anyway, a brawl ensues with Barrett prevailing and leaving the ring.

Santino Marella defeats Drew McIntyre and becomes the new assistant to Teddy Long. I love Santino. Really, I do but… Having Drew lose to him like this?! Either Drew picks up a win on the following Smackdown or he loses, “gets fired and returns”. Yay. The less said about this match, the better.

Drew is in Teddy Long’s office, protesting against Teddy firing him. Teddy gets all serious~ and says if Drew loses next week, it’ll be strike three and he’ll be out.

Primo and Epico w/ Rosa Mendes defeat Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne in a non-title match. I feel like I’ve seen this match so many times, it’s losing any kind of entertainment value. The finish seems to be the same too with an interference from the outside resulting in Kofi making the save but distracting either of the guys in the ring, allowing one of them to take advantage and pick up a win. Accurate? I think so. Also, what has happened to legitimate number 1 contender matches?! Too often are we seeing Number 1 contenders determined by them defeating a champion in a non-title match. This needs to change.

Tamina defeats Natalya in a short match. Despite Tamina looking very lost throughout the match, I think it could have been decent had it been a few minutes longer. It was definitely an improvement in comparison to the divas tag team match we were subjected to on Raw. It’s good to see Tamina finally win but at the cost of Natalya? I’d rather not see it. Why has she become diva jobber?! Remember over the summer I talked about Natalya jobbing and everyone responded with, “Yeah, because she’s really gonna be a jobber(!) Stop over-reacting!” WELL. What do we have here?! What have we been seeing for the past few months? I think I was correct, don’t you?

Finally, we have our main event. Daniel Bryan takes on the Big Show to defend his World Heavyweight Championship. Mark Henry is doing the greatest commentary known to man. I would watch the match again just to listen to him. You see some heel-ish antics from Bryan during his entrance, where he appears to be very over-confident and too pleased with himself. At one point, he manages to lock in the Guillotine Choke onto Big Show, which is followed up by the LeBell Lock but Show manages to escape it. After being thrown to the outside numerous times, he ends up having a verbal dispute with Mark Henry, who shoves him. Bryan calls to the referee for a disqualification and he retains his title, much to Show’s chagrin. Bryan is met with boos as he celebrates his “victory” and Show and Henry have a staredown to close the show.

A Daniel Bryan heel turn is imminent. Unfortunately, I see him becoming the “whiny, coward heel” as opposed to the “aggressive, credible” heel WWE could do with. I don’t have any objection to a heel Bryan within himself. My only objection is that the roster is majorly lacking top babyfaces so where exactly is the logic in this decision? Randy Orton is injured for a weeks. Sheamus is doing nothing. What are you thinking, WWE? Additionally, I still feel like Bryan is being used to just fuel the fire between Henry and Show and I think they need to make him more relevant in his own right.

Finally, if Bryan is turning heel… Does that mean Michael Cole will start kissing his ass too?

Smackdown gets a 6/10 from me this week.

Just watched Smackdown,

And despite Teddy Long returning to his all time favourite hobby of making tag team matches, I enjoyed the main event.

Some good work from both Bryan and Ziggler. I loved the interaction between Bryan and Show during both the opening promo and the main event. I found it slightly amusing that Swagger tried to make Bryan tap out with the ankle lock and Bryan just countered in virtually 2 seconds. Some nice spots during that match but really, wrestling aside, it was the story unfolding throughout, particularly the tag team match, that really got my interest.

It was beautiful to see Bryan win via submission two matches in a row!

And him owning Mark Henry at the end of that opening segment? Quality, hahaha.

Oh and that video package of Punk, Bryan and Ryder? Very nice work. Insane. Surreal. Awesome.

Now the rest of the show?

I wasn't really feeling Primo v Kofi Kingston. Maybe it's because I watch Superstars and have seen 4? matches between Primo/Epico and Air Boom? I don't know. Other people probably liked it?

I liked the opener. Booker's song about Cody was amusing and having him interfere like that was a nice way to give Zack the win without making Cody look like rubbish.

I don't know what the purpose in Miz/Sheamus really was. They're just looking for any excuse to put Sheamus on TV and it's kind of boring me... He needs a solid feud until Christian returns so he's not just floating around aimlessly.

David Otunga coming out and saying Mark Henry can't compete? Honestly? I didn't care much.

It may surprise you that despite the fact Barrett was the one lain out... I enjoyed his segment with Orton. The promo was a read awkward for a Wade Barrett promo though. It was like they were looking too hard into how they should lead into the fight when it wasn't necessary. Wade just sort of... Reminded us of something he's already reminded us of. I don't know.

I was pleased to see the fight going backstage. Seriously, we just don't get good, old, random backstage segments anymore. And I don't mean those boring interviews! I mean, segments from the locker room or fights or something.

I had a bit of a moment when Orton RKO-ed Barrett onto the car. You all know how much I hate that bloody move these days but... The last time I saw him RKO someone onto a car was around 5 years ago when he was the Legend Killer. Back when I used to like him. His victim? Hulk Hogan. Oh and he has that dodgy, creepy, gross storyline with Brooke Hogan. Just... Let's not get onto that. Ugh.

But whichever genius (!) had the bright idea to play entrance music during a backstage segment needs a slap. Just... Why? First the inconsistent entrance themes playing during interruptions (Swagger didn't get one, did he?) and now this. Dumb. Stop ruining these things. Do not taint the Old Ways, WWE.

And no divas segment? I mean, it's better than getting bullshit, I guess, but really?

Yeah. That aside, I thought Smackdown was a good show.

I'm just looking forward to Chicago this week now. ;)

Smackdown - 29/07/11 - (7/10)

Superstars was okay. Not up to usual standard so I won't dwell on that. Smackdown:

Opening promo. Good. Triple H talks. He announces CM Punk has been signed back to WWE. I'm pretty bummed about that. Christian talks expecting co-operation and Triple H just gets pissed off. R-Truth turns up and is hilarious. His match with Orton is announced. Triple H says Christian and Orton are in a No-Holds-Barred match at SummerSlam. Christian is put in a match with JoMo. Definite improvement in quality but the whole “opening promo to announce matches” thing is still annoying.

A ZACK RYDER SIGHTING. THIRD TIME IN A WEEK. OH MY GOD. He gets named Teddy Long’s personal assistant by Triple H. Apparently, he’s been hounding Triple H with ideas “15 times a day”.

Christian beats JoMo. A good, fun match. I enjoy watching both these guys so it was good to see them work together and a pull off a good match. HOWEVER. WHY IS THE NUMBER 1 CONTENDER IN THE MAIN EVENT AND THE CHAMPION IN THE OPENING MATCH. THIS IS COMPLETEY ILLOGICAL.

A From The Vault match. Not even a good one. Skip.

Wade Barrett segment. NEVER SKIP. HE’S ON HIS EIGHTH THEME THOUGH. OH MY GOD. He says how he should have won MITB and I kinda agree. Daniel Bryan comes out and talks. They talk about Nexus and how Wade led them and Bryan says he got booted out because he felt threatened by him. Wade punches him. Bryan gets him into the LaBelle Lock and makes him tap out.

Teddy Long is backstage with… Zack Ryder! Mark Henry wants an opponent. Teddy says no one wants to face him. Zack says he’ll find someone. IT IS A PLEASING MOMENT.

Justin Gabriel in South Africa. He is so adorable.

For a divas match, not bad. Predictable result seeing as Natalya, Kaitlyn and AJ have been consistently buried by Alicia Fox, Tamina & Rosa Mendes, bar 2 occassions. Okay match, like I said. Alicia Fox pins AJ. I get the feeling she may win the battle royale. Mendes and Kaitlyn don’t even get tagged in. Not surprising.

Mark Henry/ Big Show recaps. I DON’T CARE, OKAY. GO AWAY.

Bobby Howard (?) comes out to face Henry. I am gaping at how scrawny he is. Oh my God. HAHAHA. Zack Ryder comes out and gives him the best pep talk ever. POOR BOBBY. Teddy Long turns up after Bobby gets pinned and is about to get crushed some more. He stalls Henry whilst the referee takes care of poor Bobby and then Sheamus turns up to a huge pop. He tells a story about some Irish fellas after saying he’ll face Henry. Swearing on Smackdown?! I thought we were PG! ;) IS THIS A SHEAMUS FACE TURN?! FINALLY?!

Otunga & McGillicutty V The Usos. The Usos’ entrance annoys me. Sorry. It’s not necessary. Why are Otunga & McGillicutty still called “New Nexus”..? And why did they come out to Justin Gabriel’s theme, which should just be banned anyway? Uh, I don’t recall anything particularly noteworthy taking place in this title match. Otunga & McGillicutty retain. That is all.

ZACK RYDER MAKES EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD SO MUCH BETTER. He tells Teddy he’s scheduled a 2-on-1 handicap match between Ezekiel Jackson and Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes for that night. Teddy tells him he sorts out the matches here and Ryder reassures him everything’s fine with everyone involved, leaving Teddy a tad stressed out over Ryder acting so quickly over his role. Maybe Teddy’s leaving soon?! And Ryder’s taking over. Oh God. How brilliant would that be. A real Ryder Revolution, haha.

RAW rebound. I actually watch it.

R-Truth is being interviewed by Matt Striker. He says how Orton is gon’ get got. Amen to that.

We get a decent handicap match with DiBiase and Rhodes beating Zeke. Uh, it would have been nice to see DiBiase get the pin but I guess it creates more heat with Rhodes winning and effectively shunning DiBiase once the match is over. I thought the ending could have been done better. I felt as though Rhodes was coming off too strongly and Zeke too weak, seeing as it took one or two moves to pin him. DiBiase also came across a tad weak but all in all, a decent match.

Jinder Mahal and Khali interrupt from a box in the arena, overlooking the audience. I like these guys. Whilst the whole foreigner concept is overplayed often, I think this works well. Mahal’s delivery on the mic is good and I like that he speaks in Punjabi, rather than English because it establishes him as the rich, heel, foreigner and creates more heat. For more on that and a translation of what he said, go here. 

Then we have the main event. Whoop-de-fucking-doo(!) I didn’t particularly enjoy this match between R-Truth and Randy Orton. Christian showed up a few minutes in. Orton lose by disqualification by hitting Truth with the chair a zillion times and then proceeding to RKO him through the announce table twice. If it was a normal table that would break, go ahead. Announce table will not break and thus will hurt a hell of a lot more and result in possible major injuries! Why would you risk it that much?

Does this ring a bell anyone?

Oh yeah, pretty much the same thing happened last week… And at Money In The Bank! The repetitiveness is getting fucking boring.

For fuck’s sake, Creative. Get your shit together. If you’re gonna give Orton this heel persona, just fucking turn him into a heel already rather than screwing up the meaning of “babyface”. The way the crowd actually buy Orton’s crap never fails to astound me. Just… Wow.

I give Smackdown a 7/10. I would have given it an 8 but that tag-team match sucked. The main event sucked. The booking in general sucked. The From The Vault match sucked.

Smackdown - 22/07/11 & Superstars 21/07/11

A bit disappointed I’d been too ill all week to write a RAW or Money In The Bank review seeing as they were awesome, MITB more than RAW and would have been nice to post. I’ve written reviews, more to keep a record but would have been nice to post them. L

Superstars this week was good. A bit weird to see Zack Ryder against Otunga (WHO HAS A NEXUS HOODIE, DESPITE THERE ONLY BEING 2 PEOPLE AND I WANT IT) and McGillicutty considering the rumours we’ve been hearing. Nice to see him and Santino win. I don’t know whether that’s the best combination for a team because aside from being rather comical characters… Natalya and Alicia Fox’s match was better than last week’s with Fox winning. If they keep this feud steady, I could warm to it more. Great match between Evan Bourne and Primo. I watched it three times. Nuff said. Superstars is the wrestling show.

Now onto Smackdown.

We get an opening promo. Big surprise(!) Randy Orton is in the ring. Thank God we don’t have to put up with a five-minute entrance. He talks about how the WWE is undergoing huge changes, referring to Triple H taking over Vince McMahon. He goes on to talk about how he wants to pummel the crap out of Christian and how he deserves to have the title. Christian comes out and tells him he has no one to blame but himself for breaking the rules. Christian was hilarious. He looked so gleeful throughout the course of the promo. He was slagging off the audience, Teddy Long and I was speechless. He says clever things that make sense, about Orton being a whiner etc. Orton gets even more pissed off and gets out of the ring to attack Christian, only to be held back by Teddy Long and a group of referees. Orton is denied his demand for a rematch because he’s facing Kane that night but he’ll get it at some point. Long asks him to leave. He attacks Christian. Christian yells at Teddy, who puts him into the opening match.

It was a good promo from both guys but correct me if I’m wrong: isn’t it the heel who’s supposed to do the attacking and ambushing? There are so many contradictions within this storyline. The ways in which Orton have won are no different to how Christian won on Sunday. If you’re going to bring in conflict with the method of winning, WWE, then please do it so it looks as though the face really has done nothing wrong and that the heel very blatantly did something wrong throughout the course of the feud because right now, Christian looks like the face and Orton the heel. Considering his psychotic antics as of late, they can’t be serious about booking him as the top babyface. It’s just wrong. If it means a switch in roles between the two then, sure, fine.

Also, Booker T is the most annoying commentator ever. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler take the piss a lot too. Josh Matthew for the fucking win. I like objectivity.

Christian defeats the Inter-Continental Champion, Ezekiel Jackson. That’s pretty dumb, if you ask me. Why have a champion V champion match? Surely the titles they possess have established that Christian is way out of Zeke’s league? Why not put Zeke in a match with DiBiase instead? In fact, we didn’t even get any of Rhodes and DiBiase! It was a good match. I’m really starting to dislike Christian’s finisher being called Killswitch. The Unprettier was a more creative and logical name. Anyway, he uses “Killswitch” to finish Zeke and win the match. I love how possessive he is of his title. I just love it.

Then we have Daniel Bryan comes out with his MITB briefcase, speaking to Michael Cole. I could feel him about to say “Wrestlemania” and then he said it. He said he wants to cash in his MITB contract at Wrestlemania. This could go three ways. He could cash in at WrestleMania and win. He could lose. Or he could have a heel turn and cash it in at an earlier date. I’d rather the first or the last. Daniel Bryan is then interrupted by Heath Slater, who should just not be allowed to have a mic in his hands. They have a good match with Bryan winning via submission. I love the different submission moves he’ll use. They definitely add interest to the match. Technically, he reminds me a bit of CM Punk when Punk debuted in ECW and we’d see the Anaconda Vice a lot. Another good match.

Big Show/Henry promo. SNORE. I was hoping that would be gone, done, buried, forgotten.

I was looking forward to this match a lot. Sheamus V Wade Barrett, which resulted in a double countout because both men just ignored the referee’s ten-count and continued to pummel each other in whatever way they could. It was a fun match to watch considering I’m not usually into big guy matches.

Then we get a Kane segment. Is he a heel or something because Smackdown really can’t afford losing more babyfaces…

It looked like there was half an hour or so left of the show so I was a tad confused but yeah, Randy Orton V Kane. The match wasn’t my cup of tea… Or rather coffee, seeing as I don’t like tea but that’s irrelevant! It was a streetfight so it was all over the place. Orton went psycho and I’m thinking why is he a babyface? It was a crazy match. Both guys sold the blow well. I felt the pain when Kane got his ankle crushed. A decent match, just not my thing. Orton wins with an RKO onto a chair, which looked a little botched to me but whatever.

I was confused by the handshake. I was just waiting for Kane to rip apart Orton and… It didn’t happen. So Kane’s a babyface… Killing, destroying monster, who wants no humanity..?

Mark Henry turns up and I am relieved we’re not getting a post-main event Orton fest. He attacks Kane. The show ends with Mark Henry.

There is a definite improvement in the quality of the show. Maybe this is because of the new Head Writer of Smackdown. It was okay. It could have been miles better and the Orton/Christian feud needs major sorting out.

Smackdown - 15/07/11 & Superstars - 14/07/11

I am going to briefly mention what happened on WWE Superstars this week because I think it deserves a mention, seeing as the matches on there are more solid than most of the crap we’re fed on Smackdown and RAW consistently. Zack Ryder beat Santino Marella in a decent opening match. The crowd were behind Ryder and hopefully, the WWE will realize that it’s not just the minority “internet fans” behind him. In the second match, I was shocked to see Wade Barrett. Wade fucking Barrett. Are you serious, bro? Why has he been put on this show?! He should be main-eventing on Smackdown. Through commentary, there was some build-up to Money In The Bank this Sunday. He beat Trent Barretta. I found this amusing because of the similarities in their names, haha. Another decent match. The Usos beat McGillicutty and Otunga. You think they’d give the tag team champions at least a bit of credibility, you know? In the final match, Beth Phoenix beat Maryse. As usual, this divas match was miles better than what we see on RAW and Smackdown but not up to usual Superstars standards.

Now for Smackdown.

The show starts off with Josh Matthews introducing Randy Boreton. He’s carrying that fake fucking title again. Hopefully it means it will be changing hands on Sunday night. They go on and on about Orton’s anger management issues, hinting he might lose it on Sunday and lose via DQ, thus leading to Christian winning the match. If this happen, this dull feud will probably extend even longer. I’m sick of it. The crowd eat out  of his hands like dumb sheep, as usual. Yeah, Randy Orton is so fucking intimidating, huh? He can’t even do that right. That and you’re a babyface. Fucking act like one!

Can I just say this whole “the reason Christian’s doing all this with the stipulation is because he can’t beat me fairly” crap is so illogical. The reason he’s doing it is because you can’t beat him fairly. You follow? I understand the babyface has to be portrayed in a positive way but they’re just not doing this! It’s not fucking hard! Christian, speak of the devil, appears on screen. He looks so good in blue. “I can see what you’re trying to do, loud and clear man.” That doesn’t make sense. You can’t see loud. For the love of God, Orton, please work on your mic skills. Christian shows a framed photograph of him holding the title over a knocked-out Orton, saying this will happen again on Sunday. Amen. Christian talks about Cowboy Bob Orton and how he may be in the Hall of Fame but he’s worth nothing and the only reason he was put there was because the company wants to keep Randal Keith Orton happy. I love the overlap with reality on these shows lately. Orton brings up Edge. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Next we have an Inter-Continental title match between Ted DiBiase and Ezekiel Jackson. Cody Rhodes doesn’t accompany DiBiase, which is saddening. Instead, he’s watching from backstage. DiBiase loses, he didn’t get squashed, per se, seeing as he did get some offense in there. There could have been more for him though. Zeke wins via submission, using the torture rack. It was an okay match. I’m guessing this will be one of those previously unannounced matches that will suddenly be added to the MITB card on the night.

We get a backstage segment between Rhodes and DiBiase. I love these. They’re much better than those boring ass interviews we’re often subjected to so it’s nice to see more of these. Rhodes tells DiBiase to put the paper bag on because it’s for losers and he’s a loser. He changes his mind and threatens DiBiase that if he loses one more time, he’ll bag him personally. Instead, he bags some random guy. I want a paper bag.

We get another match between Cody Rhodes and Daniel Bryan. Even though we’ve seen it a million times, I still quite like watching their matches though they should be much better considering how many times they’ve worked together. They’re still pretty good. It’d be nice if they got some mic time to build on the feud more and maybe even throw it into a PPV. At least it’s building up towards MITB because both of them are in the ladder match. In fact, almost every MITB competitor got a match! Almost. Anyway, Cody Rhodes win the match. I am pleased to see the paper bags, as usual and Daniel Bryan is so innovative, I love it. He’s easily one of my favourites, right now.

We see Teddy Long backstage and a referee appears. Is that Justin King?! He tells him that any physical conflict between Henry and Show during their “face-off” will result in their match at MITB being cancelled. Kane turns up and thanks him for the opportunity to face Orton and how he feels less like a monster.

I don’t feel Kane should be facing Orton. Kane’s in the MITB match. He’d be better off facing someone in that match, who hasn’t had a match yet tonight!

We then get a From The Vault match. I’m annoyed at this, as usual. I can fucking Youtube this shit, bro. Just stop it. I’m about to skip it but then I see it’s Rey Mysterio V CM Punk with Chris Jericho on commentary from June 2009 and I have to watch it. It’s a good way to kind of build Punk up for MITB whether it’s intentional or not. I doubt it was intentional though. WWE aren’t that smart.

Khali and Mahal are backstage. Mahal gets jealous that the photographer is focusing on Khali and not him. It emphasises the idea that Ranjin Singh expressed about Mahal wanting to be Khali. That aside, it was pointless though I always enjoy hearing him rant in Punjabi, haha.

We see Christian looking at Orton’s bus. He walks around it and we see it has been vandalised with graffiti. Christian’s reaction… Oh my God. So brilliant. I absolutely love this man. This is the Heel Christian I know and remember. He tells Randy he’s going to investigate and find out who did this! Back in the day, we would have had consistent 30 second to one minute segments of Christian undergoing this “investigation” and that would have been hilarious. We didn’t get that but hey, it’s a start!

Slam of the Week is by Sheamus when he interrupted Josh Matthews’ interview at the beginning of Smackdown last week.

There’s a match between Sheamus and Sin Cara with Wade Barrett on commentary! Wade being on commentary pleases me but it’s a tad annoying he doesn’t get a fucking match and Kane is in a bloody pointless match against Randy fucking Orton! Sin Cara wins his match, thankfully. Last week’s antics made it too obvious that Sheamus would win MITB but with him losing to Sin Cara this week, that’s been toned down a bit. Post-match, Barrett gets into the ring and hits Sheamus, imitating his Brogue Kick. This is followed by Wasteland and he stands, triumphantly, as he should. I’d love to see him win MITB because he deserves it and fucking needs it!

We are treated with another segment with Christian! It must be our lucky day! He makes jokes about Orton, whilst going through his wallet. He makes fun of his family and I’m just staring at my laptop screen thinking, “How could so much Christian goodness just suddenly be on one show?!” haha. He bets $1000 from Orton’s wallet, I think, on the number 1, saying his birthday is April 1st and there must be a joke in that. I can’t handle it, oh my God. He loses all the money, acts distressed and proceeds to say to the camera that it looks like Randy Orton’s luck is running out. See, these are the type of quality mic skills a champion should have.

Teddy’s in the ring. Big Show/Mark Henry segment. Does anyone care? No.

Kelly Kelly turns up and faces Rosa Mendes. Why the fuck is Kelly fucking Kelly taking up air time on both shows? And why the fuck is Rosa Mendes getting airtime? Fuck off. Apparently Kelly’s right arm is fucked. Why are you carrying the belt on that arm then? She can’t sell an injury for shit. To read more on Kelly Kelly and the diva’s division in general, just go here. A one-minute match with Kelly winning. Lol, fuck off. Something stemming off from Tamina and Alicia Fox’s little confrontation last week would have been nice but instead, we gets this choppy crap.

Johnny Curtis again. Facepalm. Poor elephant though. L

Justin Gabriel faces Heath Slater. They have different entrances. Have they split up?! Also, JGabe’s song is not right. Sort this shit out, WWE. Heath turns up with a mic. I hate the way he talks. Sorry.  It’s bloody annoying. Okay? So they’ve split up. Does this FINALLY mean a face turn for Justin?! Justin wins. Nice match. Good considering they don’t usually do singles matches and I’d say it was nicely paced. This should have been what led to The Corre’s official break-up, in my opinion with a face turn for Justin Gabriel. Nice build-up to MITB too.

Punk promo. Always watch.

The main event is fucking shit, as usual. Randy loses to Kane via count-out after being distracted by Christian, like, two minutes into this shitty, pointless match. Orton chases Christian, who attacks him with something or the other. Kane and Christian then beat him up. I don’t even remember the events in order, that’s how dull and repetitive it was. Kane turns on Christian, who legs it or something. Orton miraculously recovers and RKOs Kane. Yeah, that’s so fucking believable, Orton. I believe Christian escapes unscathed. Kane is victim to a billion chair shots from Orton. He makes a great babyface, huh(?)

THE SHOW ENDS. It should have ended with Christian raising the belt over Orton just to link back to the opening segment and make Christian seem as strong as he’s saying but fine, whatever.

It wasn’t as bad as it has been recently, thankfully.

If you agree, disagree, have any points in general, you’d like to make, feel free to do so! Thank you for reading! ^^

I feel like the WWE is starting to answer my prayers.

We got 3 random backstage segments last night. You, know the ones where we don't get boring ass interviews. This is not including the one with Theodore Long and Justin King, since it was regarding Mark Henry & Big Show and I don't give a fuck about that.

One with DiBiase and Rhodes. I love the interaction between these two lately.

Then we get two with Christian! :3 And I'm thinking, "Finally! We get the witty, funny heel Christian!" because we all know how much I love that.

Now if only they could fulfill my other wishes...

Full Smackdown review up in a bit. ;)