Capitol Punishment 2011

This PPV had the potential to be brilliant. I was looking forward to it. As usual... They fucked up.

Dolph Ziggler V Kofi Kingston - United States Championship Match

We've seen this match so many times. This time it was just over a different mid-card title. That being said... Who said there's anything wrong with that? I enjoyed the match. It got the PPV off to a good start and it was great to see Dolph pick up the win. There was the standard interference from Vickie (which bums me out a bit because I really want her to ditch Dolph or vice versa), the usual Kingston botch... But I don't even care. I'm not a fan of Kingston. I am a fan of Dolph Ziggler. Both of those 2 in the ring together don't tend to disappoint.

The ending was pretty awkward. I thought Kingston had won by DQ but Ziggler took the match. I'm not complaining but it was pretty weird... Like a few other matches tonight. :|

Miz V A-Ri

For some reasons unknown to mankind, this was the second match on the card. The Miz turned up and I lost all train of thought as he was looking really, really hot in that leather jacket. Then A-Ri turned up and everything got too emotional for me to physically handle. The chemistry between those two is absolutely beautiful.

However, that being said, the match could have been much better. It was predictable. They made Miz look like crap (his face at the end. creys). A-Ri was getting beaten down consistently yet always kicking out. After a few minutes for this, you'd have to be dumb to think Miz was going to pull out a win. And then considering the PPV was at A-Ri's home...

I'm both glad and pissed at the outcome of this. I'm happy A-Ri won. It's great to see him getting this push. Yet I think this victory came far too soon. The smart thing to do would be to have Miz win this time around, which would only fuel A-Ri's fire further, increasing the intensity of the feud (if that's possible) and leading to A-Ri's first victory over Miz at SummerSlam.

Teacher/Student feuds are only good when the student gets destroyed for ages and has to really work at it to beat the teacher.

It was a decent match though. It told the story well and like I said, the chemistry between those two is brilliant. The promo preceding it was a bit too much for me to handle though. ;.;

Big Show V Alberto Del Rio

You want complete honesty? Once Show ambushed Del Rio and then Henry attacked Show... I completely zoned out... Something about the ref. calling off the match? Yeah. Another awkward ending. Stop trying to be unique, creative. These shitty endings do not qualify as unique nor do they do you any favours.

From this, I am going to infer the match wasn't worth watching.

Obama promos. These have been annoying me. They're funny at first. Then they're boring. I guess they had to include it in the PPV, what with all the build-up... It was pointless and boring though.

The Bellas did something. I don't know... NEXT.

Wade Barrett V Ezekiel Jackson - InterContinental Championship Match

Wade Barrett lost. Not only that but he tapped out. Wade Barrett does not tap out. What is this? Also, I've said it time and time before but the IC title is so below Barrett. He should be in the main event. The match was okay. Nothing particularly interesting. The 'We Want Ryder' chants mid-way made it more watchable though incredibly awkward. There was even more awkward-ness with the "USA" chants upon Zeke's entrance. O-Kay.

Punk V Mysterio

Easily the best match of the night with Punk winning. I'm really confused though. I'd have assumed he'd be losing a lot with all of this talk about him potentially not signing his contract. Still, I'm glad to see he's winning his matches!

It was a good match. I wasn't looking forward to it, thinking it was going to be really repetitive and it was, to an extent but that didn't keep it from being interesting to watch, similar to the Dolph/Kofi match, only better.

Bourne V Swagger

A "surprise" match. Really? Really? We saw this coming. Personally, I think because there was such a build-up towards this on RAW, it should have been announced rather than the WWE trying to be spontaneous and failing.

Another awkward match. I don't even know if awkward's the right word. I get that they want Bourne to do really well but... Don't make Swagger look crap because that makes the match look crap, which makes Bourne look crap. What happened to the days when the babyfaces were getting owned by the heels for ages before beating them down?

Airbourne is still the most beautiful thing ever.

Truth V Cena

AWKWARD. And pathetic. Rubbish main event. Major flop. Some piss poor decisions made on creative's side. Seriously. What the fuck.

Cena is apparently going to be out for around 6 months. Why not have him drop the title to Truth now, which could lead to a Truth/JoMo feud? Now most of you probably want to shoot me for even suggesting that but really, guys. Who else do we have? And JoMo is more than deserving of that title shot. And hey, since Zack Ryder's jealous that his dad prefers JoMo... He could easily slip into the title picture. ;)

I'm going off-topic. It was such a boring match. I didn't get to watch it last night. Just watched it now and I quite literally found myself drifting off to sleep. Aside from the occasional decent counter from Truth... It was horrible. And the fact he got pinned after one AA? I loved how he just stood there with the kid's hat and drink (I like to think that was legit rather than a plant, haha) but that was just... Ruined.

BORING.

Christian V Randy Orton

We all know why I've left this match until last to talk about.

I still love the fact Christian gets a mixed reaction when he comes out. His character also strengthens my belief that majority of people in the world are incredibly unintelligent. They hate him because he hit Orton. Big fucking whoop.

Anyway, I stated in an early post that we witnessed the birth of Super Orton. I take that back. It was Super-fucking-Saiyan Orton. Fuck off.

Does no one realize that Orton is rubbish without Christian there to make him look good? Orton can't do shit for himself or for anyone else, for that matter.

The match was just... Painful. I can't even explain how bad it was. The ending was absolute bullshit.

Christian goes for a spear. Orton counters. Orton goes for the RKO. Christian counters and his spear connects. Randy fucking Orton kicks out. Surprise RKO and 1, 2, 3. Except no. Christian's foot was under the fucking ropes. What the fuck are you playing at, you shitty ref.?

You're not getting off either, Lawler, Booker...

Now, before I get onto the aftermath of this match... How can anyone find this crap believable in the least? Seriously? Orton was cleared to wrestle but still recovering from his concussion. To have him still win his match after being dealt a number of blows to the head during it is un-fucking-believable. Congratulations on completely burying Christian, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. You happy? Christian being the more experience, the more talented one of the pair, you know? With this concussion shit going on, I thought for sure they'd give Christian the title but no, they went that extra step and fucked up even worse than before. I had no idea that was possible.

Now. Post-match. Orton decides he can't do his fucking job and be a decent fucking babyface and decides to hit Christian with the belt, whilst grinning like a creep. For fuck's sake. You are not a heel. Stop it now. Though I'd rather you were one... Because you're actually bearable then.

I said if Orton wins, this feud is dead. Whilst there's the glimmer of hope that given the circumstances, Christian will get a rematch, it's highly unlikely. Teddy won't give in again and Sheamus will get his title shot. Good for you, Sheamus! Fuck off, Orton. However, the way Booker & Lawler were talking about the rope issue, really emphasizing it, along with Cole, makes me think they might make something more of it? I don't know.

I can't not have Christian in the title picture.

So yeah. Capitol Punishment could have been brilliant and set for some really well-developed storylines. Instead, WWE fucked up as usual and it turned out incredibly dull. I think I'm going to start rating these out of 10.

I give it a 4/10. 5, maybe, purely because of the brilliant person in the front row with the amazing signs, such as, "Broski in a bottle". Legend.