NXT - 07th March 2012

Since I’m going until Wrestlemania 28 without being negative about WWE, I’m not going to be rating shows out of 10 either. So here’s Madi’s 100% Positive NXT “Review”!

NXT opened with Matt Striker introducing William Regal. Maxine turns up and they get pretty, uh, cosy. Regal announces she has a match with Tamina Snuka. Maxine doesn't seem particularly phased by this.

Tamina beats Maxine. The match was an okay length and it was alright. Maxine got off to a reasonably good start but after missing Tamina from the top rope, she was given the Samoan Drop and pinned following the Superfly Splash.

Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks cut an in-ring promo, mocking William Regal and saying he's just like Matt Striker; he couldn't get it done in the ring so here he is now. Regal takes the mic and says if the pair want to be booked next week, they're going to work as toilet cleaners for the rest of the night. They reluctantly take the mops and leave, haha.

Just as they leave, Yoshi Tatsu makes his entrance and Hawkins does a great impression of him, haha. Yoshi takes on Johnny Curtis. I enjoyed this match. Curtis looked pretty good and did some nice work on destroying Yoshi's arm. I liked it when Yoshi backed Curtis into the corner and unleashed a series of kicks and chops. We don't really see that vicious a side of Yoshi usually. Curtis won the match after Yoshi missed a kick off the top rope, landing on his side. Curtis takes advantage and lands a sitout suplex slam to win the match.

We get a recap of the great match Tyson Kidd and Michael McGillicutty had last week. Backstage, McGillicutty is bragging about his win to Matt Striker before Tyson Kidd shows up, insisting he gets a rematch. When McGillicutty declines and shoves him, he receives a nice blow from Kidd, who leaves after a leaving a message that may leave McGillicutty wanting to reconsider.

Maxine approaches Curtis and decides to get intimate with him in an attempt to make Derrick Bateman, who appears quickly after, jealous. Or something. Apparently there's a mixed tag team match next week; Kaitlyn & Derrick Bateman vs Maxine & Johnny Curtis. Derrick Bateman's face turn has been perfect. It was done well rather than rushed and he's so much better in this role. I love his character. Curtis took advantage and started touching Maxine, much to her displeasure, which I found hilarious. He plays that lecherous character so well, it's a little worrying! Bateman is amused and it's news to him that Maxine has broken up with him... again. Reks and Hawkins make an appearance, decked out in their cleaning gear and Bateman and Percy Watson mock them, which was amusing.

Jey Usos lost to Darren Young. The match wasn't bad and that's all I have to say. Jimmy was on commentary with Regal and Josh Matthews, which was good because he actually had something to do then!

The main event is a match between Percy Watson and Titus O'Neil. The pair have been at each other for a few weeks now, ever since Titus turned heel so it makes sense to finally have them face off, I guess. There was this hilarious moment where Titus takes down Watson with a forearm and does that barking thing and you can hear a woman in the background shout, "Shut up, Titus!", hahahaha. I think Titus definitely fits this heel role much better, despite his lacking promo ability. Watson eats turnbuckle. Titus goes to take hold of him, elevating him but Watson quickly lands a double foot stomp to his chest before landing on his feet. He lands his "Percycution" and wins the match. It'll be interesting to see where this goes now that Watson has beaten Titus.

Raw - 13th Feb 2012 - 6.5/10

I don’t know how to feel about this week’s Raw. I feel like it was centred too strongly on the six-man elimination chamber match in that pretty much the entire card was based on that as well as the opening segment and I thought that was unnecessary. I mean, another week of no appearances from our United States Champion and our Tag Team Champions? Surely, you could give up some time for them? Raw needs to structure itself around the midcard and below as well as the main event rather than just focusing on the big names.

That being said, R-Truth was golden in the opening segment, or rather "debate". God Bless Little Jimmy. Miz’s material is getting boring. Punk was decent, outshined by Truth though. Jericho and Punk’s little war of words was entertaining enough, hahaha and Ziggler’s with Truth was great.

John Laurinaitis has been reinstated as Interin GM of Raw. Otunga says he has a plan to give him the position permanently as well as Teddy Long's job as the GM of Smackdown. Okay then. That was the last we heard of that.

Chris Jericho finally defeats Kofi Kingston in singles competition! Wow! About time, huh? Hahaha. The match was alright. Not particularly memorable but it just kind of reinforced the idea that Kofi has essentially been slapped into this title match for no reason.

Miz lost to Punk. Whatever. Jericho was watching eagerly,, which highlights the possibility of a Jericho win at EC and a Punk/Jericho feud in the run up to Mania.

Truth beat Ziggler but just about. I don’t think this served much purpose aside from basically continuing from their squabbling in the opening promo.

I didn’t feel it was unnecessary to throw in a Randy Orton match against the Big Show, especially considering the finish of Smackdown last week. That botched RKO, however, was hilarious. Daniel Bryan was at ringside. I think. I loved the footage of post-Smackdown where Show chokeslams Orton though, hahaha. Anyway, I don’t even remember how this match ended. That was how memorable it was. I guess that speaks for itself.

The funny thing about this focus on Orton is that he's now been removed from the Elimination Chamber match due to injury so this was a bit of a waste, right? And that, WWE, is why you should invest an equal amount of time on your talent. But, y'know, despite how many times you've encountered these circumstances, you've not learned your lesson so why should I even bother saying this, right?

HBK came out and did exactly what we expected him to do; try to convince HHH to accept Taker’s challenge. The delivery of the promo segment was great. There was heat between the guys as they argued and it was pretty convincing the way they talked. There was a big pop for the Undertaker's theme but it was just another one of those taped promos. HHH/Undertaker is definitely happening, no doubt. And that's unfortunate.

The divas segment was, well, decent considering what we usually get! The match was short, as expected and Tamina pinned Brie (?) Bella after landing the superfly splash. Beth Phoenix was on commentary and  a match between herself and Tamina at Elimination Chamber was announced. I’m looking forward to this mostly because Tamina is half-decent and these two haven’t face each other before, thankfully!

We had this fiasco of an angle between Kane, Cena, Ryder & Eve running throughout the course of the show. It’s the day before Valentine’s and Ryder has something for Eve. Later, he sees her kissing Cena after he “saves” her from Kane… Even though he didn’t do much… Or anything. The acting was awful. The highlight was the spot were Kane throws Ryder off the ramp, after Ryder’s face-off with Cena over Eve, whilst he’s still in his wheelchair. Eve runs to his side, all concerned. I guess the rumoured heel turn for Eve is on its way. I don’t know whether they’re going for the whole “Lita slut” kind of thing. I’m all for “slut” chants during Raw. The acting really was terrible though. I’ve no idea who will win at the PPV on Sunday between Cena and Kane. Kane claims Cena has already embraced the hate… I’d like to see Cena lose so we’d get the whole “superhero’s ego is crushed, sulks, gets his shit together and kicks ass” sort of angle except he moves on from Kane and onto Rock.

I’m giving Raw a 6.5/10. It wasn’t bad. There were some entertaining segments but the matches just… Weren’t particularly interesting or memorable.

We have four matches on the card for Elimination Chamber. Make of that what you will.

Superstars - 19th Jan / Smackdown - 20th Jan (7/10)

Superstars:

Natalya takes on Tamina in the opening match, which lasts a nice seven-minute. Tamina is, of course, triumphant but I'm glad Nattie was able to get in a decent amount of offence. The crowd actually responded to the match a bit! Nattie made great use of the ropes and turnbuckle. It was generally a pretty aggressive bout and the kind of thing I'd like to see more in divas matches, especially on TV! Less ass, more wrestling. Nattie locks in her Pinup Strong submission hold, which Tamina manages to work out of. She rolls up Nattie just as she attempts to lock in the Sharpshooter but Nattie kicks out. I was looking forward to a suplex from the middle rope but Tamina countered, knocking Nattie off and landing her Superfly Splash to pick up the third win in a row.

We get a tag team match of Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks facing off against the team of Santino Marella and Mason Ryan. God, can Hawkins and Reks please win this? We really need some legitimate tag teams on TV. STOP FOOLIN' AROUND REKS HAHAHA. 

Alex Riley beats Jinder Mahal in the main event in a match I don't care about. GREAT JOB WITH JINDER MAHAL, WWE(!) Real consistent(!) Losing to Seth Rollins on FCW... Losing to A-Ry on Superstars... Losing to Sheamus on Smackdown/Raw... Get real.

Smackdown:

Daniel Bryan cuts a promo, degrading Big Show about last week and says he should just quit. The usual stuff then.

Aksana is backstage, flaunting her costume, saying it was especially for Teddy. Something to do with pillow fights? It looks like they’re using the roulette wheel to determine match stipulations. Cody Rhodes turns up and with regards to Aksana’s costume, he says Goldust once was in a Vegas Showgirls match and that he himself is the last hope for the Rhodes family name. The roulette wheel lands on a “player’s choice match”. Does he pick Ezekiel Jackson? Nope. Santino? Nah. He picks Hornswoggle, who is visibly dreading it.

Rhodes shoves around Hornswoggle on the outside before the match can even start. Justin Gabriel comes in for the save and takes the mic. In that beautiful accent of his, he demands he replaces Hornswoggle and Cody accepts the match, insisting it’s “non-title”. The match is short but decent. Gabriel looked pretty good throughout most of the match, getting two nearfalls and landing a reasonable amount of offense. Rhodes managed to avoid his 450 splash the one time he was set up for him. Rhodes eventually won using his finisher, Cross Rhodes.

Mark Henry is backstage with the roulette wheel. He doesn’t seem at all impressed with the concept of “Sin City Smackdown”. He says it’s Teddy’s fault AJ got hurt and this week, it’ll be his fault when Bryan gets hurt. He makes Teddy spin the wheel. Basically, Henry is brilliant. The stipulation ends up being a lumberjack match. I love Mark Henry’s promos. He’s there being all serious and shit and yet he’s amusing.

We get a replay of Air Boom dropping the tag titles to Epico and Primo.

Primo and Epico defeat The Usos in a tornado tag team match! We don’t see many of those these days, do we? Despite it being a rather short match, I enjoyed it. If anything, it looked good. By that, I mean, there was a slight sense of nostalgia in that it was reminiscent of when we would have a legitimate tag team division. I couldn’t tell who was wrestling with whom because The Usos are twins and Primo and Epico look so alike! They have the matching ring gear, the multiple double team moves. I enjoyed it and I just wish it had gone on maybe five more minutes. Epico and Primo were victorious after one of them hit an Uso with the backstabber and pinned him.

Aksana informs Teddy Long she enjoys pulling and yanking until the all the money comes out. I guess it really is Teddy’s lucky night, huh? Sheamus turns up and he’s facing Wade Barrett in a tables match.

The following is a dance-off! Vickie Guerrero, in the words of Michael Cole, appears to be having a seizure. Brodus Clay, Naomi and Arianne show what they’ve got and are victorious. Then Mr. William Regal makes an appearance, coming to the aid of Vickie. He was pretty hilarious on the mic, calling Vickie a “wench” whilst comforting her, haha. Brodus goads him into dancing and it was brilliant. The crowd are cheering Regal on and then Brodus takes him out, much to everyone’s displeasure. That all changes when he says everyone’s favourite line, “Somebody call his momma” and the cheering takes over.

Wade Barrett takes on Sheamus in a tables match! I liked this match a lot! They were really close to the tables throughout the match and there were a number of moments where either men were close to winning. I’m not a fan of bigger guys in matches against each other but the combination of Barrett and Sheamus is one of the few that I genuinely find entertaining. They made good use of the tables and there were quite a few close calls, which maintained my interest. The ending was a little underwhelming with Jinder Mahal making an appearance to distract Sheamus, providing Barrett with the opportunity to throw him into the table. It would have been nice to place a little more emphasis on Barrett’s win by maybe having him put Sheamus through the table using a signature move? After Barrett leaves, Mahal starts to beat down Sheamus. Sheamus miraculously gets to his feet after that brutal brawl with Barrett, brogue kicks Mahal and sends him through a table. Just stop this Mahal/Sheamus thing. It’s fucking shit and stupid. This was pointless and made me feel like Sheamus was being molded into the next Cena. Yay(!)

Ted DiBiase beats Hunico in a flag match. This is another one of those gimmick matches I absolutely hate. It’s also really annoying how patriotic WWE are. You are a global company. Stop shoving this “USA” shit down our throats. A recorded promo from Ted pre-show is shown where he says Hunico and Camacho can have their own “pity party” after they lose. The match was awkward. They really had to oversell because honestly, it’s not hard to climb to the top rope. There was a great moment where Ted literally went flying out of the ring though.

Santino is still brilliant. After Teddy fires Drew, Santino insists he can have one more match to prove him beating “Drew Macintosh” wasn’t a fluke. Drew is all grateful and beautiful. Can you just turn him face already? We get a stupid blindfold match, which is another stupid gimmick match I can’t stand. Drew gets a jobber entrance, in other words, no entrance at all. However, Santino blindfolding his cobra was brilliant, haha. There’s next to no physical contact between the pair throughout the match. At one point, Drew’s arm meets steel post, which looked painful. Despite Drew peeking from the blindfold at one point, Santino uses the crowd reaction to target Drew and hits him with the cobra in order to pick up a win. A stupid match. The comedic value from Santino made it somewhat bearable but this bullshit with Drew had better go somewhere big, for fuck’s sake.

Why are they announcing Orton’s return in advance? Stupid.

It’s main event time! Mark Henry takes on Daniel Bryan for the World Heavyweight Championship in a Lumberjack match! Bryan tries to intimidate the lumberjacks, demanding they don’t touch him. Barrett is not impressed. Reks is not impressed either. That’s Tyler Reks in case you forgot who he is and I wouldn’t blame you really! Sort it out, WWE! Anyway, Henry dominates the match and Bryan tries to escape the ring but each time the lumberjacks send him back in there. At one point, he manages to get Henry onto his knees and land a nice kick to the head, covering him. Henry throws Bryan out onto the lumberjacks! Once Henry lands on the outside though, it’s like pandemonium. The lumberjacks go crazy, trying to beat up Bryan, Henry, each other… Bryan manages to escape the match, heading backstage, where Teddy Long closes the show, announcing Bryan will take on Show and Henry in a triple threat match at the Royal Rumble. I liked the ending with that announcement. Hopefully the Smackdown before the Rumble, there will be some elaboration on this to build-up a little bit. The lumberjacks invading the ring was very reminiscent of the Rumble itself, which was a great way of almost promoting the PPV.

All in all, Smackdown was decent. I’m not a fan of these ridiculous gimmick matches though. The matches were okay. Barrett/Sheamus was good and like the tag team match, they could have been better had they been a few minutes longer. We got some Rumble build-up. I give it a 7/10.