The JoMo/Melina bit on Z!TLIS...

Asdfghjkl. I have no words. Oh my god. Zack's dad is too much. Everyone's asleep and I'm just trying not to laugh :'D

JoMo V Zack Ryder with Zack's dad as special guest referee please. I'd pay for that xD

RAW - 11/07/11

RAW. Where do I even begin?! At the beginning… Yes.

The show opens with a promo from none other than the Voice of the Voiceless, CM Punk. As soon as I saw the megaphone in his hand, I knew we’d be seeing some brilliance from him again. And that’s exactly what we got. He talked about how he brought back-up with him in case his mic got cut off again. My words won’t do it justice. You all know how brilliant it was. If not, well, go and watch it. Punk states how there will be an in-ring contract negotiation live, with VKM, for the main event. Of course, Creative couldn’t leave us to bask in the brilliance of Punk, they brought in Cena and Punk was brilliant, “Sir, sir, your music’s too loud”. Haha. The Anonymous RAW General Manager decided to interrupt and put Cena into a handicap match.

The handicap match was against David Otunga and Michael McGilicutty, The Tag Team Champions. Okay, fair enough. But why wasn’t CM Punk with them at ringside? It’s like he’s been cut off from the Nexus. They’re no longer like one unit. Mason Ryan’s out so it’s just them three right now and they’re technically still members so what the fuck is this? Hell, they even come out with Punk’s theme so why not?! How brilliant would it have been had Punk been ringside with that ridiculous megaphone, distracting the shit out of Cena? Also, the Super-Cena gimmick where he, not only beats 2 people, but he beats the Tag Team Champions. Come on, give them some credit if you’re gonna put the titles on them at least! Poor booking. Poor match.

We have a Big Show and Mark Henry promo. We should all already know my thoughts on this.

Then we had a segment I particularly enjoyed! Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero are talking backstage. I’d just like to point out that Dolph was looking very attractive on RAW this week. I wouldn’t have minded if that segment lasted the whole show. Vickie’s imitating Vincent Kennedy McMahon whilst Dolph tries to tell him why he’s the best. They start taking the piss out of him, only to be joined by... Wait for it… Drew McIntyre! Yes, that’s right. A Drew McIntyre sighting! He joins in with them. He and Dolph shut up and Vickie, who has no idea VKM is there, carries on. She shuts up. He says how Drew was once his chosen one and how they’re both rising stars, mocking them, obviously because he then throws them into a handicap match against Big Show. A pointless segment but entertaining!

A SCOTT STANFORD SIGHTING.

Melina jobs to Kelly Kelly. What the fuck? I realize K2 is the Divas Champion (for some unknown/ridiculous reason – I don’t care how much she’s “improved”, she’s shit.) but Melina of all people?! One of the few women in the company, who can fight?! Honestly, I’d prefer just being on Superstars than jobbing to K2. They’re supposed to make Kelly look strong, I get that but you can’t make someone with very limited talent look strong regardless of how you book her. It’s just no believable. You could see how slow and sloppy her technique was and how Melina had to set herself up for her. Kelly’s then attacked by both Bellas. Eve turns up, for some reason and helps Kelly, only to get squashed herself. Great match(!) And it did nothing to help the storyline.

The Miz entered the ring and sat on top of the ladder in the middle of the ring. The RAW briefcase was hanging in the middle. He sat there and talked about why he’s the best competitor and going to win because he’s actually won before and become a champion. He’s interrupted by Jack Swagger, who states he, too, has won and gone on to win a World Title from it. He’s followed by Evan Bourne, who is too cute. Then Kofi. Then R-Truth. All of them talking about how they’re going to win. Rey Mysterio makes no appearance but we do see Alberto del Rio turns up, complaining that Punk has his match back when technically, he’s the Number 1 contender. The RAW GM interrupts and schedules a Heel V Face 6-man tag team match next and that ADR’s problem will be addressed. Alex Riley wins the match. It was alright. He’s attacked by Miz, of course, and then everyone else attacks one by one. Evan Bourne is the last one standing, about to go Airbourne. Here’s me getting all excited because it’s such a beautiful move but then ADR turns up and attacks him. Ladder shots for all, courtesy of Alberto del Rio. It looked like Miz’s hand got seriously fucked up. I hope it’s nothing too bad… Now, the biggest problem with this was the same as with Smackdown’s last week. ADR was made to look too strong. They’ve made it look too obvious that he’ll win at MITB, though I’d much rather Truth won, cashed in and lost, hahaha.

This is followed by the handicap match of Drew & Dolph V Big Show. Dolph immediately tags in Drew, shitting it. Drew’s knocked out of the ring and receives a pummelling. Show throws him all over the place, destroying him. They’re at the top of the ramp and I believe Show’s about to chokeslam him when Mark Henry turns up yet AGAIN and dives into Show. Drew goes flying. I thought he’d been flattened and killed by those giants but luckily, we see from another angle, he was thrown aside. Poor Drew. We get nothing new in terms of storyline. I already didn’t care about this Show/Henry thing. Meanwhile, Dolph Ziggler is chilling at ringside. Like a boss.

Alas, it’s time for the main event! VKM enters, doing his walk and then retreats. He repeats this cycle until he feels he’s received an adequate response from the crowd. He stops at a Zack Ryder sign. We mark out. Cole’s on his feet, kissing ass. In short, it’s amusing. He talks about how this shouldn’t be done in public but he’ll go with it and he calls CM Punk out. Punk imitates VKM’s walk, being the legend he is. I’m going crazy, obviously. He does regular Punk things. You know, incredibly relaxed body language whilst Vince is really tense. I love it. Then Vince calls him Phil and I gasp. We all know what Punk is like about names so I was literally in shock, haha. Punk reads out what’s in the contract. He wants to be the face of the company. Literally. He wants his face everywhere. He wants to push Vince. It was too amusing the way he was shoving Vince with that smile on his face. He was just absolutely brilliant. Like the opening segment, there are no words to express just how amazing CM Punk is. He had everyone in that arena chanting “COLT CABANA”. Half of those kids won’t even know who he is! He had everyone chanting for “WWE ICE CREAM BARS”. He is the Voice of the Voiceless, as he put it. Cena interrupts, of course. Punk tears him down with his words. Just go find it on Youtube. Just awesome. It wasn't the best segment! Don't get me wrong, it could have been much better but considering the crap we've been fed recently... He says Cena is like the New York Yankees and Cena snaps and hits Punk, who rolls out of the ring, haha. Punk walks up the ramp and says he’s tired. He’s just tired and he’s leaving the company on July 17th with the title.

End of show.

I don’t know what’s going to happen on Sunday. I really don’t. Fuck school. I’m watching this. Don’t let us down, WWE. Do not fucking let us down.

So here's me just skipping through Superstars, looking for any good matches...

And I come across Gail Kim V Melina.

And so I stop skipping and watch it.

And guess what?

It was longer than 2 and a half minutes.

It actually got a good reaction from the crowd.

Hell, it was actually a good match.

So why the fuck is it that we see the Bella and Kelly Kelly on RAW every week yet we don't see those 2, who are actually talented in the ring?

JoMo's gonna be out for 4-6 weeks then.

This, I think I can deal with. His and Melina's cute-ness last night was too much tho omg. So long as he recovers completely, it's all okay. (:

Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to watch RAW and Tough Enough. :D

JoMo's injury. Undertaker.

I can't bear the thought of watching RAW without JoMo on there. :( And they're not even saying it may be for a few weeks... MONTHS. Stupid injury. *sob*

SOMEONE HOLD ME. T_T

Now. Undertaker. He doesn't wrestle as much as he used to, of course. We seem him occassionally. Apparently he's in bad shape and is going to retire after WM28. 20 seems like a nice number for The Streak, I guess. Gutted though.

I mean, Undertaker was always there, from when I started watching. It was Kane & The Undertaker. GOOD TIMES. It's gonna be so strange seeing him retire. Guys. No Undertaker. How weird. ><

And on a completely different note, can i just say, Melina is the cutest ever and anyone denying this can gtfo.