Hi

Please look at this bowl, made in Egypt almost 6000 years ago. Look at it.

I love it. Thank you for your time.

Hammer of Probability

This is what the DM hits you with when you try to fuck the monsters

excuse me i just saw a sign that said “nut then what?” and i almost had a heart attack while driving

     NUT

   T HEN W   HAT ?

Henry Cavill implying he has sex for his cardio workout

airing our dirty laundry on tv… rude

Let’s do cardio

Ok but imagine doing cardio with him….like bitch how you even survive that?

how to get what you want: • pout • little girl voice • suck his fingers

This is actually how I got a bigger loan at the bank

This was how Putin annexed Crimea

Stop being considerate in situations where you aren’t considered….

alright bro im boutta head out

So what you’re saying is, raccoons have the ability to defy the laws of physics by folding their bodies into higher dimensions of time and space 

Me: I wish I could afford basic living necessities and medical care.

Baby Boomer:

im in tears