Padme and Anakin remind me of many straight couples who are extremely pathological: the narcissist and the enabler. Always together, in heaven forever. More often than not, they appear to be the traditional stereotype of an ideal couple. They are both young, handsome, smart, promising, loyal to each other, trying to build together their careers, their own family. The enabler ignores red flags, sometimes unconsciously, other times consciously. In a patriarchal society due to sociopolitical reasons, the enabler is more often than not the woman.
Till the day the enabler steps up. Then they meet the narcissist's fury. The one who promised him literally the galaxy minutes ago.
Chaos ensures. The divorce is ugly, catastrophic from all aspects. They both fail to be parents to their children. Padme because of sadness ( sometimes the enabler can't have the consequences leading to self destruction) and Anakin because of his raging obsession for power. It's undoubtedly true that both loved their kids. Padme would want nothing more than to raise her children and Anakin showed us in the movies his love for them. Yes, some narcissists can love their kids, especially the ones that score higher on the bpd spectrum than narcissism. In my opinion, this became clear as he grew older and thus, dropped the intensity of the narcissism magnified by his youth.
Many young people find the couple romantic and beautiful. As a young person myself ( 22), I completely understand the lure. But as a person that has experienced this in my own home, I fail at sympathising with the ship itself.
Obi wan loved them both. He tried to be there for both. He took care of their kids. His own life took the backseat. He was a person who saw taking care of others mistakes as a moral duty towards the great good. He was also attached to them. If not so attached, things wouldn't have gotten so far. But in the end, he raised his sleeves and tried to fix whatever was left to fix. It literally reminds me of Jesus who asked his Father why he should sacrifice himself, then did it because that's what he considered to be right. Obi wan's empathy works like that.
He sent Luke to face his father. To kill * Darth Vader*. Not Anakin Skywalker. Obi wan still believed that there was at least a piece of Anakin left in there. He doubted that for years but after decades of meditation accompanied by the wisdom of an old man, he knew this to be possible. But he could come to light only by his pure innocent love for his son, not from his love tainted with shades of hate and passion for Padme and Obi wan.
And that's why Padme and Anakin grow to love Obi wan with a deep sense of respect that they never had for each other. But it was too late for them. Both understood Obi wans value right before dying, when they saw a man caring for their kids, for themselves as well. But Obi wan forgave.