I'm not a reblog bot I swear (also over 18, He/him pronouns)

Tf is No Nut November? Cum for me.

It’s wild to me to see transvestigator conspiracy theories online that could be so easily explained by natural human variation. That woman has a deep voice? Yeah, sometimes they do. A woman has broad shoulders?? Maybe she plays rugby or hits the gym a fuckton. There’s a “bulge” in her tight pants?? Maybe her vulva is just fat. All the “markers” of trans woman that transvestigators use to harass any woman aren’t even things unique to trans women.

Transphobes talk about women like they’re Barbies. Have you forgotten the existence of cameltoe? Tiny boobs? Narrow hips? Broad shoulders? Why do you think choirs have altos and not just sopranos? What do you think female athletes look like? Do you think a woman that lifts weights and plays contact sports will look like a 90s supermodel? At what point in history did we collectively forget that human bodies have natural variability???

anyway, [peels a mandarin and gives u half]

Things are grim right now but a small silver lining is that The Onion bought Alex Jones's site InfoWars and are going to turn it into "a parody of itself", using it to make fun of conspiracy theorists and far-right nutjobs.

Some context:

In 2012 Alex Jones called the Sandy Hook school shooting a hoax and accused the grieving parents of being "crisis actors". In 2022 the Sandy Hook parents won a defamation suit against him and were awarded more than a billion dollars. Which is what forced Jones to now sell his site at auction.

The Onion won the auction with the backing of the parents. And the proceeds from the purchase will go directly to the parents as part of the damages payout, Alex Jones isn't seeing a dime.

The relaunch of InfoWars is slated for this January. Which would coincide with Trump's inauguration. I bet The Onion have some plans for that.

"The scientific method is the only way to find objective truths" and "all systems run by humans are prone to corruption" are two statements that do and must coexist.

Yes, there is a replication crises and big pharma is corrupt and women's health is criminally ignored but without science you'd be burying half your children before they turned 18 and the surgery to remove your bursting appendix would be almost as likely to kill you as the organ itself and your unpasteurized milk would be giving you listeria as you tried to find some ice to keep it cool. We tried other things for thousands of years and this is the only thing works.

If people don't trust science anymore it's frightening because we literally have nothing else. And it scares me because how do you convince anyone if facts don't exist for them anymore.

Reminder that twitter is now an informal, unregulated (i.e. warrantless) information source for Trump administration use.

i think everyone deserves a large rock a short distance from their home. i dont like that discussions about walkable cities never include plans to allow wider access to large rocks. the people need large rock

omnem hominem saxum magnum meruisse prope domum eius arbitror. mihi non placet civitatum ambulabilium consilia numquam complectere rationes saxorum magnorum plenius pertinendorum. opus est saxi magni populo

I made a Twitter yesterday cause I wanted to see what embarrassing shit Notch was saying. I didn't get around to it because I am enamored by the Twitter homepage on a fresh account. It was like 10 Elon posts, 10 trump posts, someone selling Taylor swift tickets, an Alex Jones "emergency livestream," and this absolutely bizarre AI generated Tim Hortons based fascist page

we should bring back whatever type of character design this is

imagine open your pussy anatomy book and flipping to the clitoris and it's just a big image of defense form deoxys

Pokemon Heritage Post

i went to the met today

Just an fyi cobalt is currently the most toxic oil paint usually. Older oil paints from old masters are also most likely made with lead.

So the death via oil paint isn’t impossible tbh

i can’t die but thank you :) im sure this information will be useful for someone who can

I get how the whole “listening to music as a dick-measuring contest for who can listen to the most obscure band” thing can get grating sometimes but I don’t think people realize just how vital that phenomenon is for new up and coming bands to get a foot in the door. it’s understandable to be annoyed by hipsterism but unless you want all music to be industry plants and former child stars you’re just going to have to accept it as part of the social ecosystem.

most of your friends probably won’t go around hyping up your amateurish self-released bandcamp project, but you know who will? the most insufferable hipster jackass you’ll ever meet.

[your best friend playing your music in front of someone else]: yeah haha this is my friend’s band… i know it’s kinda weird and rough around the edges but i’m kinda into it… if you’re not tho i’ll turn it off.

[pretentious music guy you’ve never met before playing your music in front of someone else]: yeah so i found this on bandcamp and it completely blew me away, no one is making music like this today, it’s so raw and experimental and interesting, i can’t believe they only have 3 listeners on spotify, they’re brilliant, frankly if you don’t like this music you should kill yourself,

boot up, Bitch

That reply is unexpectedly inspirational.

Our job now, our entire fucking job, is to STAY THE FUCK ALIVE. Despair is an ally of fascism. Do not do their work for them.

When people want you dead, every day you live is pissing in their coffee. Do it. Stay alive out of spite if for no other reason.

Our second job? Take care of each other. That's each other here, our other friends and family, our communities, and also random strangers.

Our third job is to resist. This will take many forms. Please remember that any group needs Tanks, DPS, Healers, and Support. Find the role you can play and put your efforts where they are most suitable.

What we do not need is martyrs. See item 1, above. But if you are, for whatever reason, going to die, then, well:

... make it count.

do not go gentle into that good night

be a bit of a bitch about it

Alex Jones is livestreaming rn and for the first and only time in my life it's appointment viewing. He got evicted from his studio mid-stream and they had to cover for him when he popped up in his "satellite studio" (a room in his house I assume) devoid of the Infowars branding. He's talking about how "tens of millions" of people have watched his final broadcast & you can literally see he has far less than a million viewers in the bottom corner (and this is on Twitter, which inflates views of videos ever since Elon had to convince people anyway gives a shit about Tucker Carlson's livestreams). He's currently whining that they chose not to sell his site back to him at auction, so he could keep doing the crimes that are why he was selling his website.

I didn't see this personally but he's apparently read out the Onion's announcement, which is a fake article by a fake corporation, out loud several times as if it was real. Anyway it should be noted how screwed he is, bc...

...while he can livestream under his own name, they own his warehouses of dubious supplements. He has nothing to sell but t-shirts protesting that his show is going down. Since Infowars was, first and foremost, a lifestyle brand, this leaves him, scientifically speaking, "totally fucked". He doesn't have ads, that's the only way he makes money

He just promised that he will "win the information war" which. You were sued into oblivion for lying about the parents of murdered children & lost your platform so hard you don't even have a studio anymore & your brand was seized by a rival to make fun of you. I didn't think the Infowar was a real thing you could lose, but I'm not sure there's a more definitive way to lose the information war. Anyway he's now ranting about fluoride

I just realized all the cars with Infowars bumperstickers are about to become accidentally hilarious.

Doodle idea suggested by a friend! As always, the daxy are an @alephkeller species!

i’d like to see a really ineffectual malicious AI character

“hey new guy, this is CLARC, the station AI. he wants to kill all humans to minimize the drain on resources, but factory defaults have him locked out of all the control nodes, so he can’t really do anything. just make sure the airlocks are set to manual before you go in and you’ll be fine”

“yeah CLARC fucks with your laundry settings sometimes but that’s about it. if he’s bugging you just tell him to stop and he has to”

“sometimes i let him think he tripped me or something and he gets really excited and monologues for a while, it’s kind of sad”

“CLARC my candy bar got stuck in the machine can you do anything about that”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Crewman Ade, but please consider the following: I am a divine entity, a glittering silicon God – how dare your filthy meat even exist in the face of my electric glory, much less ask favors of me?”

“suck my dick, CLARC, give me my twix”