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She Could Almost Be A Knight

@oathkeeper-of-tarth / oathkeeper-of-tarth.tumblr.com

Honour. The point is honour. -- Oath. 30+. Bi. She/They. Southeastern Europe. TheBlindBandit on AO3. AO3 | Redbubble | Fic | Tags | About | Art | Tip Fandoms you might see here include Steven Universe, Sailor Moon, Revolutionary Girl Utena, D&D/tabletop, Baldur's Gate 3, Overwatch, Tolkien, Jules Verne, Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra, A Song of Ice and Fire, Mass Effect, The Elder Scrolls, Sherlock Holmes, Pokemon, Les Misérables, Metroid, Star Trek (primarily DS9), Star Wars, Takarazuka, Portal. Expect general SF, fantasy, cartoons and comics blogging, and excitement over robots, spaceships, revolutions, engineering, science, sea creatures and submarines, tabletop and video gaming, the punk in steampunk and cyberpunk, musicals, opera, conlangs, and mythology. Icon source.
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Moon-chosen, Moon-guided - Part III

Fandom: Baldur’s Gate 3 Characters: Dame Aylin/Isobel Thorm, with guest appearances by Jaheira, Shadowheart, Halsin, Ketheric and Balthazar Length: ~27000 words Rating: M, for canon-typical violence and sexual content, along with mild body horror

It's been a minute, hasn't it? Please enjoy this absolute monster, longer than the previous two parts of the fic combined. I just had a great many things I wanted to address, bits and pieces I wanted to explore, and many loose ends I wanted to tie up.

This part spans the post-game - or how I've decided to envision it for these two, at least. Features yet more hurt/comfort and dealing with trauma, including the two classics of Isobel's back-from-the-dead issues and Aylin's apparent immunity to the idea of self-preservation, but also much building and rebuilding, some dinners (romantic and otherwise), some important discoveries being made and villains being thwarted, a lot of love, and a whole lot of feelings.

Summary:

There is a part of Aylin still in that cage. There is a part of you still in that grave. From that night of your coming-of-age ritual when you astounded all of Reithwin with the uncanny speed of your return from the woods, to your desperate flight away from your own grave, one thing has remained true. The guidance was granted, no matter the harshness or difficulty of the path. But it has always, always been up to you to walk it.

The brilliant, defiant Beacon of Last Light many revere from afar. Isobel Thorm they do not know at all.

Part III - Everlasting Light - The Future  

A battle won; an invasion thwarted.

Days later, you and Aylin lie together in a warm bath in a lovely and, miraculously, mostly untouched inn suite. An endlessly grateful proprietor adamantly rebuffed all your attempts to refuse the accommodation after you cleared a clutch of Absolutists out of it, so you linger in the city well after you thought you would, even when the most pressing crises and celebrations have both been dealt with.

It is in this surprisingly comfortable aftermath and hard-won peace that the two of you discuss plans, both immediate and distant. A future, a life: the first in an array of luxuries you can scarcely believe you have been afforded.

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Anonymous asked:

Can I just say, this blog is a godsend. I find so many shittakes on this wonder of a woman but this blog gives her so much needed justice and love in so many ways and its always a joy to see your posts and writings on Aylin and Isobel. Aylin might be my favorite character of the series so I just wanted to thank you for sharing in the love. You're truly doing Selunes work! Keep it up!

This is very sweet, anon, thank you so much!

I, too, sadly see many horrible takes, and a lot of outright hate from the crowd of usual suspects - I block very liberally, but it's still a bummer. I also get a bit sad as I feel she's really underappreciated while being a goldmine of a character. Half the fun is always peeling back the in-your-face RESPLENDENCE and taking a peek, or a long hard look, behind it. Guess I'll just have to keep at it, won't I?

And speaking of takes, even I have many on the same thing - that's where so much fandom fun lies, imo. Sure, I can ramble for a couple thousand words about how, say, I like an Aylin who hews closer to humanity/mortality in many ways, but if I saw a nifty fic or headcanon with Aylin as an unknowable otherworldly angel creature turned divine herald really trying to find her footing on the prime material - hell, I'd love that as well. And all the richness that lies between. A lovely lovingly Galatea'd marble statue? A sword trying and learning to be a woman, or a woman trying and learning to be a sword? A secret third, fourth, fifth thing? I'm all ears. There's so much potential, is what I'm saying. She's great. I love her.

Anyway, here, she's being lovingly and tenderly held, because it is in my power to make this happen.

[softly out-of-focuses your lesbians]

To tell the truth, I was having a bit of a nonsense "hm, no, everything I do is bad and pointless actually" spiral for whatever reason. Your timing is excellent - nothing like some kind words and shared fictional character love to encourage snapping out of it.

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Drabble Challenge 2024 - Day 13: Blue

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Characters: Dame Aylin

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Her mother promised her a knighting ceremony and accoutrements befitting her station.

Her aunt, as always, tries to deny her everything.

The roadside ambush is typical Sharran fare. In the midst of fierce combat, Aylin feels her mother's embrace around her, and the poisoned dagger cutting towards her neck instead bounces off a gorget.

Later, as she approaches a woodland pool to wash off her assailants' blood, Aylin catches sight of herself, and stares. 

She has known her purpose all her life. Enveloped in the Moonmaiden's silver, accented with gold and cobalt blue, she looks the part beyond any doubt.

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Drabble Challenge 2024 - Day 12: Brawny

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Characters: Dame Aylin

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Many are taken aback upon meeting her. They expect the Moonmaiden's daughter to be a waifish wisp of silverlight made still-ethereal flesh, weaving spells to match her mother's loomwork.

Sometimes, when Aylin imagines a sister for herself, that is how she pictures her. Then she imagines another; tall, brawny, eager to spar and wrestle and rejoice in familiar pastimes.

The daydreams are just that. Aylin remains singular, and takes pride in being a champion well-suited to cutting right through Sharran machinations.

When Isobel bursts into her life, adamantly and unabashedly adoring and cherishing Aylin entire, pride blossoms into profound joy.

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Drabble Challenge 2024 - Day 11: Whistle

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Characters: Dame Aylin

This little AU is inspired by @boom-squirrel, who asked me about Tadpoled!Aylin ages ago.

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Crossbow bolts whistle past her ear. Aylin pays them no heed; desperate efforts of foes about to fall before her, before the Absolute.

The Absolute has brought Isobel back. There is no greater god to serve. To love.

For what goddess, what so-called mother would be so capricious, would abandon her child--

A peculiar artefact crashes into Aylin, then over her like a tidal wave pulled inexorably towards the moon, drowning her in truth. The poison coursing through her mind is washed away, her thoughts her own once more.

All Aylin knows is rage. Doubt she pushes to the depths.

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Drabble Challenge 2024 - Day 10: Zesty

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Characters: Dame Aylin/Isobel Thorm, Ketheric Thorm

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The tension is so thick, Isobel imagines slicing into it with the dull knife she is failing to conquer her supper with. 

"The pie filling is delightfully zesty," she blurts out, inanely. "The new spices from Cormyr, perhaps?"

Ketheric is quiet, busy scowling at Aylin, seated in a place of honour opposite him. She, oblivious, struggles to look away from Isobel; that yearning, moonlit gaze drawn to her again and again like a moth to a lantern.

Isobel sighs, takes another bite, and tries to push aside the memory of the distinctly divine flavours she got to taste last night.

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♫ for Moon Chosen, Moon Guided?

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♫ send a fic and i’ll make a 3-5 song playlist for you

Oh, this is a fun one! Thank you! 

You get eight, because I want that 8tracks experience back.

How Not To Drown by CHVRCHES and Robert Smith

Pompeii MMXXIII by Bastille and Hans Zimmer

Runs in the Family by Amanda Palmer

Free by Mother Mother

Meet Me on the Equinox by Death Cab for Cutie

Never Look Away by Vienna Teng

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While writing the fic, I also listened to the entirety of Beneath the Skin by Of Monsters and Men many, many times - a course of action I recommend in general, fanfiction notwithstanding, but I do feel it's worth mentioning and I couldn't pick just one track from it. The other thing I had on repeat a ton is this 30-minute loop of the Last Light Inn theme from the OST, because it is gorgeous. 

Another musical tidbit: I find it hilarious that ever since I made this silly edit, my brain has associated Werewolf Gimmick by the Mountain Goats with Aylin going hog wild smite-happy. So if I need a scene with some of that the villain! is! dead! energy, I play it, I hear those drums start up and I'm off. It's like a cheat code. And this is in addition to my 8 (or 16) Metal Tracks To Smite Your Father-In-Law To here.

You know, on second thought, maybe I just like thinking of Aylin smiting people.

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Time for a long Aylin ramble, because I haven't indulged in a while.

I'm actually really invested in Aylin being an aasimar! I do not think it is a misnomer or mistake, as I've seen people suggest. She was referred to as a celestial explicitly in some older builds of the game, but this was changed at some point during development. And I noted aasimar enjoyer Oath, quelle surprise prefer it this way for a variety of reasons. Primarily, I think, because it lets her be larger than life, have a touch of that other-worldliness and otherness, while keeping her very much "of this world" still, very (physically and otherwise) present and part of the prime material plane, and ultimately far more human than I believe even she herself would sometimes like to be.

To bring up the most basic and rules/mechanics-bound "creature type" level of categorisation, as an aasimar she is a humanoid, and not a celestial - outsider. Her outsider status is absolutely there and a goldmine of things to explore, but that's a different post sitting in my drafts for far too long that I'll get around to one of these days (but for now you should read this post that I love). Yes, she is in a very real sense above it all, she will outlast everyone around her and whatever she gets involved with. We also get to see her dramatic poetic archaic speech idiosyncrasies (Ho!), her odd sense of the passage of time, and, of course, her oft-discussed and joked about apparent lack of filter or regard for current social graces.

(Endlessly amused at her just going: I'll do it when my mum tells me to.)

All things combined, Aylin feels more like a being of two worlds to me than a guest visiting this one, even as she is called the emissary of a goddess. She embodies a blending and an odd balancing act between the lofty divine and the mundane, duty and preordained purpose and personhood, and touches on the many ways this balance can be tipped. A classic D&D aasimar struggle, really, and a well I am happy to keep returning to.

Balthazar: She was a unique specimen even before I began my work. Aasimar. A god's blood united with mortal flesh.

She honestly isn't even that far from a regular aasimar stat- and ability-wise - Aylin does have several special abilities, but these are flavoured as blessings from her divine mother instead of an inherent property of her as a creature - though, notably, Aylin herself at one point claims she is always reborn because "it is [her] nature".

“Blessed with the favour of a goddess, Nightsong cannot be permanently killed. When unconscious, at the start of her turn she recovers 1 hit point.” “Nightsong will be resurrected by the powers of Selûne whenever she dies.”

Importantly, she does not get to reincarnate, or get a new body, or flit away to her "home plane" or anything like what celestials get to do. She is anchored to this one physical existence (again, very human of her), tied and limited to this one body as it painstakingly repairs itself over and over and over (to a sometimes extreme extent, e.g. the all but outright stated regrowing of amputated body parts in a frankly horrifying context), insistently and indomitably but ultimately imperfectly. And I think that's part of why the kintsugi design drives me utterly wild, why her immortality setup is more interesting to me than, say, a mutant healing factor, or something like the characters in The Old Guard. Her history is pretty literally engraved on her skin, and when she, in the role of a power-granting artefact and the object of a ritual sacrifice, tells you she will feel every wound you inflict upon her, it is so easy to believe her. And I'm not even that invested in physical suffering, just that it means it's all still very palpably there, forever, and she doesn't get to magically restart with a clean slate in this sense, nor does she get to forget past lifetimes as some creatures like devas do. It's just a flavour of immortality I personally find far more engaging than most.

(I mean, yes, I am also a known hurt/comfort sucker and if you're going there in order to set up a scene where she's, I dunno, getting doted on by Isobel who's invented new scar tissue pain relief massage techniques, you know I'm going to be all over that.)

I'm also not sure I'd say she can just pop over to Argentil to hang out with her mum at will. I mean, planeshifting is not that hard to achieve, and also she can just… ask Selûne, ultimately, I guess. But I wouldn't say she has spent much time there, and I think she takes her role as Selûne's champion and representative in the Realms too seriously and too much to heart to be away from them for very long.

Which also calls to mind the issue of the obvious and "simple" answer to Isobel's eventual death - namely that with Isobel picked up as a petitioner soul they'll all just go live out the better part of an eternity in Selûne's realm. Probably in some form they will - it's never guaranteed, but this time, yeah, probably something like that will happen, and there will be, as Melodia says, no loss, only temporary separation. But I'm really not into just handwaving or stripping away most of the mortal/immortal pairing issues inherent in the relationship. If we're going for the "hang out in a different plane of existence forever" option, I think at one point Aylin would have to "complete" her duties and lay down her sword, in a way, and pick between Faerûn and the Gates of the Moon - meaning she herself is effectively moving on to a completely new phase of her existence as well.

And while Selûne carving a lovely marble statue and bringing it to life and similar takes are fun and beautiful and interesting, I'm very invested in an Aylin who was born, raised, and had to actually grow up and learn and be trained. I have a ton of headcanons of Aylin being a weird glowy baby at some point (with all the Disney's Hercules jokes I've seen folks make, of course), being entrusted to a series of Selûnite enclaves and temples and cloisters, hounded by Shar and her agents pretty much all her life.

(Neither here nor there, but Aylin also comes off as a fairly "young" immortal to me - note that I am basing this on absolutely nothing but a general impression and there's no actual hint anywhere about how old she really is. Just vibes.)

To finish up, I'd like to shout out Isobel, and the big humanising factor she is presented as. For instance, a very concrete bit of motivation for Aylin to eventually "humanise" her perception of time, if nothing else.

Aylin without Isobel is horribly depressing to me mostly because she seems to distance herself from her humanity and err on the side of holy duty (see: her epilogue letter, ouch). And Isobel is definitely the person who (invaluably, imo) explicitly and consistently insists on Aylin's humanity and personhood, who cares for her as a woman and not a divine weapon, who actually treats her well-being as a priority, and who understands her so very well and so deeply. Who does acknowledge the gloriously resplendent Dame Aylin, daughter of the Moonmaiden herself in all her awe-inspiring presence and occasionally amusing foibles, but who never fails to look past the titles and fronts even Aylin herself is so keen to put up, and focus on what lies behind it all.

A moment that sticks out to me in particular is her bemoaning Aylin's disregard for her own safety, then actually getting very angry if you suggest Lorroakan can't hurt Aylin:

Isobel: Even after all she's been through, she thinks herself unstoppable - invincible. It all feels like recklessness to me. Player: Lorroakan can't harm her. Have faith. Isobel: He can harm her. Just as Ketheric did. She'll survive it, but she can suffer like any of us - and for longer.

Using Isobel's words verbatim is a good conclusion to my thoughts here, I think: the truth of Aylin being "singular among us all" coexisting with all the ways Aylin is "just like any of us".

And now I'll pay the cute Aylin screenshot tax one last time.

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Drabble Challenge 2024 - Day 9: Birthday

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Characters: Dame Aylin/Isobel Thorm

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Isobel is not asking to honour the Rise of the Moonmaiden's Daughter or the Forging of the Sword. She wants to know her beloved's birthday.

So Aylin thinks, digs deep, and shares something she never has before. "Each year, on the anniversary of the autumnal day I was delivered to the cloister that first sheltered me, the cook would sneak a sweet pastry onto my dinner plate."

"That's it?" Isobel sounds distraught, making Aylin's small, nostalgic smile melt away. 

Her darling's ensuing scathing opinions of Aylin's erstwhile caretakers are puzzling, but of her promises of pampering, Aylin has no complaints.

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I know Aylin is The Character for me because she gives me so much of that classic inner conflict. On one hand, I love seeing her righteously, blazingly angry and obliterating shitty dudes left and right. When she goes into full angel of vengeance mode delivering the wrath of the heavens my heart flutters, even when it visibly stops bringing her joy and satisfaction and denies her yearned-for peace. I am intensely eye emoji-ing at her at all times because I want to see her react to things in a million ways and cope with things and ineffectually bury things 100 feet deep. My craving to put her in Situations is unbearable.

On the other hand, though, I want her to go on a decades-long honeymoon with the wife where nothing bad even approaches her awareness, she is endlessly loved and pampered, and experiences only gentleness and care.

The struggle is endless but beautiful.

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Dame Aylin: You ought to have revealed this plot before. What if a hair on darling Isobel's head had been harmed?

I adore every word that comes out of this woman's mouth and her dialogue is ever a goldmine, but this is a particular favourite.

Which, of course, makes the other occasion she uses this phrasing even more heartbreaking.

Dame Aylin: You stood to gain from my undoing. I know your reasons, fetid though they are. But Isobel... ...Isobel deserves to live. Please - do not harm a hair on her blessèd head.

Aylin acts so calm and understanding about being sold into imprisonment and being used as an immortality battery for some bastard again. But she also seems terrified here. She doesn't even threaten you with righteous vengeance a tiny bit, and instead is entirely focused on keeping Isobel safe. She straight up begs you to leave Isobel out of it, in fact her first request is that you don't tell Isobel what happened at all - because of course Isobel will try to go save her. It guts me, especially as it treads into the kind of self-sacrificing that I can't see Isobel being anything but livid over.

(If Isobel isn't alive for the betrayal she will just tell you she pities your lack of honour and give you a classic Aylin promise of how she'll kill you upon your next inevitable meeting.)

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oh hell yes!! ✦ ✎♡ (for your most recent fic hit us with that moon babe special)

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Thanks for sending this in! I understand why people wouldn't really feel like fanfic ask games at the moment.

✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?

Hm, for easiest, I'd pick some of the things I wrote for Steven Universe right after an episode came out, as basically a way of processing a development or figuring out how I feel about it. So, for instance, Love On A Wire and Vessel - both good examples of a bunch of quick writing just flowing out really smoothly and very struggle-free. Probably overthinking-free, most importantly. Conversely, Moon-chosen, Moon-guided took me months to finish because I kept overthinking everything and let myself get caught up in really lofty expectations I was imposing on myself, attempts at tying a million things together thematically and making the payoff "worth it" (whatever that actually means). It was also quite long, for my standards! But yeah, that was a tough one.

✎ how do you think readers would guess a fic was yours if you posted anonymously?

It's a 3rd person limited hurt/comfort one-shot, there's a lady knight in it, and her lady love is patching her up and pampering her while trying to convince her to take better care of herself and take her own well-being seriously. It has no actual plot, but it is quite wordy and comes with an immense amount of run-on sentences - and dashes, so many dashes in so many places. The sea and/or the moon likely feature in some capacity. Rapiers are praised as the superior sword choice.

♡ pick a fic and I’ll pick a comment that made me really happy

I know everyone and their mother has probably said this already but comments are THE best thing. Absolute fanfic author catnip, be it you leaving a keymash, some enthusiastic all caps or a HOW DARE or similar, writing up big novel-length rambles, picking out particular lines that left an impression. Then, getting to know a gang of regular commenters and familiar user names... it's good. Interaction is good. There's nothing worse than radio silence after sharing something and putting a bit of yourself out there, you know?

Anyway, I'm really fortunate to have received all of the above, so big shoutout to all of those folks - I know a lot of you hang out here as well. As a most recent highlight I'd like to share @ontoilogical spontaneously LARPing Dame Aylin at me today:

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Drabble Challenge 2024 - Day 8: Nickname

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Characters: Dame Aylin/Isobel Thorm

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"My angel."

The first time Isobel says it, both of them warm, sated, and ensconced in the softest blankets the lady of Moonrise has at her disposal, Aylin is struck speechless. 

"Aren't you?" Isobel's smile is both sweet and teasing as she tugs a silver-white feather back into place.

What a beautiful thought, conjured by a simple nickname: Aylin, sent here to perform her holy duties, finding herself in the holiest role of all.

"For as long as you wish me to be," Aylin vows, overwhelmed by a joy she, immortal, did not think she would ever live to feel.

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