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go to hell
i love him i want to hit with my car he’s my best friend i will tear him from limb to limb i understand him i think he’s the worst person in the world i want to send him to therapy i will strap him to a table and dissect him like a frog i want to hug him i will cut off his parachute and throw him off a plane
gaslight gatekeep girlboss? nah. godspeed godbless godforbid
we all have a limit to the bad things characters can do until we’re not comfortable liking them but tbh some of you are just super fucking boring
there's actually only 2 genders - creep and weirdo
what about the 3rd gender, freak?
obsessed with this reply because i'll never know if you were suggesting a third option or calling me a freak for this post and i don't want to because its so much funnier that way
Woke up at 3 am delirious and extremely thirsty but my water glass was empty so I was like “I know exactly how to fix this” So I googled “big water” and in my half asleep state I was certain that would allow me to manifest a large glass of water in reality. Didn’t work but now I know there’s a town in Utah called Big Water.
Give a man a gun and he’ll rob a bank……
Give a man a bank and he’ll rob everyone.
ur last name wouldnt happen to be bezos, would it
alright somebody add the ‘you can excuse racism?’ meme
I can’t believe we get to use this for once without having to edit it
in middle school i emailed a friend once being a depressing bastard of a child “where do i go: to the left, where nothing’s right? Or to the right, where nothing’s left?” and i wasn’t expecting to be so rocked by his answer of “forward” that i think about it to this day
losing my mind at this actually
happy birthday to the greatest philosopher of our generation <3
What’s your stock portfolio like
chicken, beef, veggetable. the classics, mostly
This is extremely funny
do they think being a cop will be morally okay in a few months or what
Season opens with Jake waking up and being like "Man, I just had the craziest dream that we were cops", and then goes to his job at the post office, and it's never mentioned again
im summoning the hoes fool
