Sometimes I am thinking oh I wish I was more productive, had my life more in order like those people on YouTube who make productivity videos.

Then I realise I am actually doing a PhD in chemistry in order to be here I needed to be productive, I AM productive!

No front against YouTubers, I mean I watch them a lot and many have good advice but sometimes I am wondering if someone is a full time YouTuber making productivity content, and this content is making people like me, who actually have been productive for the last 21 years (that’s how long I have been in education/academia), if it is a correct portrayal of what productivity looks like.

As much as I wish my day would look like theirs, no one is vlogging the 14 h lab day doing repetitive experiments because it’s not aesthetically pleasing and doing what I do I can’t expect my days to look like theirs!

So I'm taking this class called molecular driving forces and it's something like stat mech for chemistry and it blows my mind like every week. Today the professor asked us why heat flows from warm objects to cold objects and everyone was like entropy! Temperature! Equilibrium! and he was like yeah yeah but what's it really about when you get to the bottom of it? And the answer was statistics - because the number of states in which these two bodies are in a thermal equilibrium is much (like, much) greater than the number of states in which they aren't, and so thermal equilibrium is the most probable outcome. And the thing that decks me every time is that it's always statistics, it's all statistics.

So anyway, every week I'm like WHOA THIS IS WHY I CHOSE A SCIENCE DEGREE and if you're also a science student (or used to be one) please reblog and add your moments of awe at the beautiful complexity of our universe pretty please!! I want to read your stories! Science appreciation chain!!

knowing when to let go

here are some insights on knowing when to let go. perseverance, though a good quality, can be harmful when you push yourself too far past your limits.

perseverance vs letting go while perseverance has its benefits, it's essential to weigh the costs and potential downsides of continuing. consider whether continuing will lead to incremental learning and development or if it it's causing wasted time and energy.

signs it's time to give up 1. obsession. if a problem consumes your thoughts and affects other aspects of your life, reconsider your reasons for persisting. 2. enjoyment. are you still enjoying the journey, or has it become a burden? 3. health. stubbornly holding on can negatively impact your well-being. 4. better alternatives. sometimes letting go opens doors to better opportunities.

relationships when considering giving up on a relationship: process grief and hurt, let go of resentment, and wish the other person well without needing them in your life. remember to learn from past experiences.

practical steps 1. acknowledge your feelings. recognize and accept your emotions related to what you want to let go of. it’s okay to feel sad, disappointed, or frustrated. 2. identify what you're holding on to. be specific about what you’re trying to release. is it a relationship, a goal, a habit, or a belief? 3. reflect on the why. understand why you’re holding on. Is it fear, attachment, or habit? reflect on whether it serves your best interests. 4. create distance. physically or emotionally distance yourself from the situation. take a break, step back, and gain perspective. 5. practice self-compassion. be kind to yourself. letting go doesn’t mean failure; it’s a courageous choice.

strategies 1. release rituals. write a letter expressing your feelings, then burn or tear it up. visualize releasing what you’re holding onto, like releasing a balloon into the sky. 2. focus on the present and future. redirect your energy toward positive aspects of your life. set new goals or explore new interests.

final note i hope this post was helpful! ❤️ nene

image source: pinterest

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updated❤️

all the links should work now, instead of coming up with 'doesn't exist'

༻`` 30 May 24 — Thursday 54/60

My last exam is tomorrow so I'll write up a big update then :)

Soooo.... big update might come tomorrow... It's midnight and I got caught up texting with my friends...

༻`` 31 May — Friday 55/60

☀️ 7. 10 (was supposed to be 6 tho) 🌙12.15 ish

17.05.24

11.04

It's been a few weeks since I last attended a lab session for Environmental Botany. But I was notified that the data we will collect from the exercises we would be doing in class today will be used for our upcoming report. I remember being so excited to start this unit but now I just can't bring myself to enjoy it anymore.

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

tip: do not let your desk get cluttered to the point it feels like it's gonna make you cry.

it's been said before, I know, but it doesn't make it any less important. your desk state correlates heavily with your own mental state.

see this picture? yeah, that was me at the peak of my depressive episode; I was crying in the stairway from sheer stress.

and you know what? my desk worsened it. I constantly felt as if I had a lot to do in such little time. Everything seemed suddenly worse than it actually was.

I'm not saying cleaning up your desk is going to magically fix your life, but it'd definitely help your progress.

stay safe and sane out there, darlings.

Grad school is lying to you. You can indulge fixations on obscure topics on your own time. You can sit in a library color-coding notes on articles printed from JSTOR for free. You can argue with dead philosophers in essay format whenever you like. Academia is a state of mind.