I know Greed puts his cigarettes out on his own tongue
number1greedlingfan reblogged
Thinking about hypermobile Ling again. Ling says he's gonna go take a bath and Greed tries the cheesy "I can wash your back for you" line and Ling proceeds to rip his shoulder out of his socket so he can show Greed just how far up his hand can go
For a brief second, Greed is shellshocked and horrified. Then he enters the nefarious but expected "Okayy flexible 😏" territory before finally arriving at "he pulls random body horror on people too... i knew he was the perfect vessel for me"
Thinking about hypermobile Ling again. Ling says he's gonna go take a bath and Greed tries the cheesy "I can wash your back for you" line and Ling proceeds to rip his shoulder out of his socket so he can show Greed just how far up his hand can go
saw a hc a while back and i spent ages looking for it (couldn't find it, not important) that was ling yao with ocd. all i have to say abt this is it adds another layer to his "eats anything" schtick—you mean to tell me he can overpower extremely heinous intrusive thoughts to clear his plate? multiple plates??
does "you're eating bugs you're eating bugs this is larva" or "you have an intestinal parasite it's IN YOU it's MOVING YOU CAN FEEL IT STOP EATING YOU'RE FEEDING IT" mean nothing to this guy???
you know what time it is
More random headcanons
- Ed has a bitemark scar on the second knuckle of his left pointer finger. He puts it in his mouth while he thinks and then forgets his strength (paired with his high pain tolerance it's impossible to notice). He used to do this with his right hand but stopped after getting automail because he did it instinctively and then chipped a tooth.
- It's canon that Ed can't draw for shit, and I like to think this extends into other areas like sculpting (non-alchemically), painting, crocheting, etc. Tell him to draw anything but a perfect circle and his head explodes.
- When Al was younger he got cold easily and used to crawl into other people's beds while half asleep. This worked fine with his mom, who didn't mind snuggling with the Son that Doesn't Kick, but frequently caused fights with Ed who overheats no matter the season.
- Not only can Al draw in realism, but he can also sketch and paint in multiple different styles and he can embroider. I think drawing is something he's been doing since he was little but other skills were honed post-human transmutation (he had to fill those lonely nights somehow). After getting his body back, relearning how to do all these is slow going.
i love trans and queer headcanons but ed is like the cishet guy ever 2 me. i get flexible with this sometimes and i Do have wips where he is transgener or bisexual, but i think it's funniest to make him (at the very least) heterosexual. gives me the prime opportunity to break ling yao's heart over and over again because no way in HELL is that fruity prince STRAIGHT ARE YOU KIDDING...
Anonymous asked:
let's be honest, Winry is the breadwinner who's grinding hard day and night so that her trophy husband can keep his carefree wandering lifestyle and she loves every single bit of it.
REAL!!!!
Ed is such a househusband and he doesnt even know it. Hes not a good cook by any standards and he kind of hates doing it but like hell is he gonna let Winry burn herself out doing chores on top of working all-nighters. Whenever hes gone researching they both eat garbage (neither of them see a point in cooking for themselves)
Hi! As someone who loved all those recent headcannons covering fma’s cast and the ones about the chimeras - Heinkel and Darius specifically - I wonder if you had any more you’d thought up about those two? I don’t blame you if it’s not a ton, but curious!
HI HELLO HI YOU WILL REGRET ASKING ME ABT THIS EHEHE ☺️
ok I've made a post about this one before but:
- Darius and Heinkel are actually chill with Greed. He's a little strange but he's easy to understand and he's oddly... chummy with them right off the bat. The one thing they don't really get about him is his fascination with Ling Yao, who is deceptively unsettling and makes their fur stand on end. That kid never says what he means and 80% of his expressions are carefully curated lies -- TERRIFYING.
for some miscellaneous things:
- I think Heinkel's life before and during his military service was incredibly structured and stifling. Both he and Darius don't talk about wanting to return to their families like Zampano and Jerso, so I assume they were either not close, dead, or had a Really Really bad relationship with them. For Heinkel I think it's the first and for Darius I think it's the last. Darius is one of the only characters in fullmetal that's implied to be gay and I doubt his Amestrian parents would be cool with that. Him fucking off to Central and enlisting makes sense to me.
- Because of Ed, they're able to start fresh and as a result they'd pick up random hobbies during the camping trip. Heinkel starts carving and Darius gets into charcoal drawing.
- These guys are the pinnacle of boring middle aged yaoi to me. They join a circus and people think that means their lives are chock full of wacky shenanigans-- but no. They are married all but legally and days not working are spent doing the most mundane activities ever. Like sitting together in the living room and listening to the radio for five uninterrupted hours kinda shit. (My reason for this is I think it is Funny for the chimera men who can shapeshift to be two of the most normal people in the series.)
- I think Darius is good with kids and Heinkel is Not. Darius is the fun uncle that gives piggyback rides and throws them into pools and shit. Heinkel is the stiff adult at the family function that struggles not to explain the concept of death to your five year old. So that being said, I don't think they'd have kids of their own. (Ed, who became a father literally 2 seconds ago with the birth of his son, does not understand this choice.)
Anonymous asked:
Greed being suddenly very good at calculating anything finance-related and having the trashiest nouveau riche tastes can't possibly not be canon, to me, now, it just makes so much sense.
Do you allow me to share with you a Ling-related headcanon of mine that's also meaningless to everyone but me? 'Was thinking of it, the other day.
I headcanon that Ling and Lan Fan share the same birthday. Born on the exact same day, of the exact same year, just a few hours apart. As a result, she didn't get to celebrate her birthday on its actual date, growing up, because it was the Young Lord's special day. Both her parents were probably on guard duty for the celebrations every year too, anyway. So her family would always celebrate her birthday one or two days before or after the Prince's.
They were about 8 when Ling learned they were birthday twins. He thought that was the coolest thing ever, and from that day on he insisted that the Yao clan would throw shared celebrations for them, even if it gives aneurysms to the traditionalists at the Emperor's court to watch the Prince and a servant blow their candles together. That was one of the earliest contributing factors to her undying fealty to him.
THANK U "NOUVEAU RICHE" was EXACTLY the term I was looking for but I couldn't remember it 😭
My personal hc has always been that Lan Fan is older than Ling by one or two years but. Them sharing the same birthday and her being ignored by her family as a result is so tragic that I'm here for it. I love when my favorite characters are miserable. Him being so happy about it and insisting on celebrating together is very in character and cute too :)
Thank u for sharing!! If u (or anyone else, open invitation!) have any more headcanons feel free to toss em my way
Headcanons that are meaningless to everyone but me (or extremely niche inside jokes formed by my friend group)
- Hawkeye finds pleasantries, mostly "hello"s and "goodbye"s, pointless and kind of annoying. She'll sometimes engage in them in person but never over the phone. She often hangs up while the other person is mid "bye".
- Havoc's "tried and true" opener on dates is that he prefers rainy weather because he, quote, "loves to curl up by the window with a good book and some tea". This is not only a bold-faced lie, but it hasn't helped him get past the first date so it's not any more effective than his other lines.
- Fuery pulls more women than Havoc does (not that there was any competition lmao) but he is somehow unaware of this.
- Mustang's singular hobby that he does purely for fun is building model ships. His only social interaction is with his coworkers because he does not have any other friends.
- Ed thinks Winry is cooped up in her shop all day and all night but that's literally only when he shows up because he DOES IT UNANNOUNCED!! Winry has a thriving social life both in Resembool and Rush Valley. She knows every single person in Resembool and keeps tabs on the neighbors. She's invited to dinners and group outings all the time. People mourned when she moved to RV. Within a month of working at Garfiel's, she'd already met most of the people on the street and she remembers most of their names.
- Because of her interests, it's often assumed that Winry is a "not like other girls" type but she is the exact opposite. If you say a single misogynistic thing about other girls' interests (like astrology or pop music) on a first date she is getting up and leaving.
- Ling is hypermobile and can bend his hands like this️ ⬇️ as well as do things like back bends and pulling his shoulders out of their sockets. When he was younger he would go up to literally anyone (family members, visiting officials, perfect strangers) and ask if they wanted to see him pull his shoulder out and then not wait for an answer.
- Ling's favorite fruit is mango. When he was seven he refused to eat anything but that and had so many that he threw up at a family function. (Mangos were ruined for him for two years.)
- Lan Fan does not get sick often but when she does It's Bad and she's taken out for a week or more. When she was younger and delirious with fever, she started distressedly mumbling that she was turning into a cookie. Nothing would convince her otherwise (Fu tried everything). In the end, they had to get Ling to help and he calmed her down in seconds by saying "there are no crumbs so I think you're probably okay".
- This is a small one: Lan Fan is on the ace spectrum.
- When Mei cooks for other people she makes it as cute as humanly possible. Everything that can have a smiley face or heart on it will. Side note, Al and Mei are 100% a couple that cooks together.
- Mei is a little bit fujopilled. You understand.
- While he seems shady as hell, Greed's rap sheet is actually pathetically small. The worst crime he's ever committed is, of course, the single instance of kidnapping that we saw on screen.
- Greed doesn't understand electricity. He thinks it's powered by electric eels ("eelectricity") and has numerous drawings in his diaries theorizing on the mechanics of these machines. Ex: A generator that has an eel tank with a water wheel inside of it. The drawing is accented with large arrows and question marks and "HOW DOES IT WORK"s. That being said! He's not stupid in all academics. Give this guy some numbers and put it in a financial context and he can calculate anything.
- Greed likes the "finer things" but he also has bad taste and sometimes these clash horribly. Is the furniture in his home expensive? Yes. Does any of it match in any conceivable way? Fuck no. Also that nice walnut hutch that cost 1.5K is used solely to display his novelty bong collection.
- Heinkel and Darius only became close and discovered the other was gay because of the Camping Trip. So,