Nuclear Wizard

pesident babas extremely popular flagship policy, ECONOMY IS GOOD, is going to prove hard to beat

NUKES is POWER and NOT WEAPONS when BABA is PESIDENT

the reason this doesn't work is because hypocrisy is a virtue for reactionaries; it means you have the power to create rules for others you do not have to follow yourself, and that is the goal of all conservative politics

^^^They themselves don't even see it as hypocrisy, because it's all the same goal: Suppress people and opinions they don't like

Elon is recruiting randos from Twitter to compete for the chance to work themselves to death figuring out how to take away your welfare.

"Small government revolutionaries willing to work 80 or more hours a week" What's the intersection there, like, negative 206 people???

New hobby unlocked??? 🔓

a tiny ankylosaurus by the garden shed 🌸🌿

do you think he'd be a good helper? ♡

I think he'd eat my plants and I'd be happy to let him ❤️

Two different goats meet 🐐🐐

( <= green bean

( <= chili pepper

. <= blueberry

=3 <= broccoli

● <= orange

. <= pea

• <= plum

<3< <= strawberry

<==}< <= carrot

~<O{ <= beetroot

°o8~ <= grapes

Ó <= apple

88- <= raspberry

c'ɔ <= bell pepper

cc’ɔɔ <= pumpkin

-8 <= cherries

☆{ } <= pineapple

¶\__________ <= garden hose (to water all the plants)

18 tumblr users make a list of food using random symbols they find

Farmer's market ❤️

tuck her in thursday

shnuggly 😺

Meanwhile, in the world of football, the Pop Tart Bowl had an anthropomorphic Pop Tart who asked to be lowered into a giant toaster, holding a sign saying "DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE"

The toaster then spat out a human-sized Pop Tart with a face for the winning team to eat

And they devoured the edible mascot ravenously

Unhinged harmless nonsense just like the early '90s intended

shopping bag cats

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

guys this post is a big hit on the adolescent psych ward

Fish in the great lake being like

Wait shit wrong fucking post

"We're going to put on a talent show so awesome it's going to flash bang the entirety of Lake Superior"

ut cicer vides vel forsan granum

wak wak wak 🦆

yes I bled all over your perfect white carpet but my blood is actually pretty awesome you should be excited to live with my awesome blood

It's eating a hole through my floor

I wanna pet a hyena so bad but that would not end well for anyone.

u can trust me pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls

I pet him and immediately my wallet gets stolen

anyway yeah DELETE YOUR FUCKING ADVERTISING IDS

Android:

Settings ➡️ Google ➡️ all services ➡️ Ads ➡️ Delete advertising ID

(may differ slightly depending on android version and manufacturer firmware. you can't just search settings for "advertising ID" of course 🔪)

iOS:

Settings ➡️ privacy ➡️ tracking ➡️ toggle "allow apps to request to track" to OFF

and ALSO settings ➡️ privacy ➡️ Apple advertising ➡️ toggle "personalized ads" to OFF

more details about the process here via the EFF

Either or both tbh 👖🧥👍

in fact y'know what

I saw one with an Eddie Van Halen Frankenstrat paint job while on a roadtrip recently and we were fully overcome with laughter for a good 15 or 20 minutes about it and then I went and sent photos of it to a bunch of other people so they could laugh about it too

I saw one IRL on the street and it was like seeing Jar Jar Binks in person or some shit.

there's one in our town, and we laugh every time we see that ugly deathtrap

There's a jet-black one somewhere in the biggest metropolis where I live, and every time I see it I can only think "It's still just a BRICK, though, so...WHY???"