predictions for the f1 2025 car launch in london:
- someone forgets to send out the dress code. george russell turns up in an immaculately pressed suit, lando norris turns up in black sweatpants.
- the british drivers are raised onto the stage like they’re in the eras tour
- the non-british drivers have to come in through the crowd entrance and buy their own tickets
- christian horner still hasn’t decided who’s filling that second red bull seat. as a result max is accompanied on stage by what seems to be three untrained rookies in a trenchcoat
- speaking of max, he doesn’t speak a word the entire night preferring instead to communicate short answers in sign language.
- the hosts keep trying to awkwardly fill time à la eurovision song contest
- there are at least two fistfights
- and one dogfight (leo and roscoe)
- pierre and esteban stand next to each other at first before they have to awkwardly be reminded that they’re not teammates anymore
- someone makes a thinly veiled reference to the mclaren 2024 rear wing
- kimi antonelli gets booed (british crowd) and about half the grid has to be physically restrained from jumping on the audience
- toto wolff tries to seduce max yet again.
- max audibly laughs at him. this is the only time we hear his voice all night.
- oscar piastri gets visibly teary at the sight of drs since it’s the last time it’ll be used in f1
- fred vasseur makes an insane prediction on how many races ferrari will win. everyone laughs at him.
- he ends up being absolutely right
- fernando turns up in another team’s colours
- it’s later revealed that one team paid the sound engineers to play thunderous applause when their car was revealed
- one livery will merit audible laughter
- it will be alpine’s.
- red bull makes at least 3 rpf jokes on tiktok from the event
- the fakest gasps in the audience when the red bull car looks exactly the same
- someone mentions franco and the entire grid acts like he died (he just doesn't have a seat)
- lecfosi and cult LH engage in a physical fight on the jubilee line that will be so extensive not even "see it say it sort it" will save them
- lewis tries to speak italian and messes up causing an absolutely irrelavant cultural appropriation "my culture is not your costume" discourse on twitter
- martin garrix has a performance and at the end announces lando and max are no longer friends
- christian horner once again repeats carlos sainz is not getting the second red bull seat
- damiano david will sing as the drivers present their new race suits victoria's secret fashion show style
- ollie makes a joke about kimi and the sun magazine starts a rumour they're dating
- max only looks like he doesn't want to off himself when charles looks at him for 0.01s
- very over the top in memoriam vcr for all the drivers that lost their seat, daniel is somehow included twice
- the "previously on f1" 2024 rewind glorifies the nonexistent lando x max title fight, resulting in charles and lando fist fighting on stage
- brad pitt tries to promote his movie, revealing it's a brocedes fanfic all along