Bella: This is not a party for kids.
Renesmee: Ooh, what are you going to do, sit around and tell dirty jokes?
Bella: Waste of time, Edward wouldn't get any of them.
Jasper: You know, it’s not fair that you always assume it was me.
Rosalie: Was it?
Jasper: Yeah, but it still isn’t fair.
#source: home improvement#jasper hale#jasper whitlock#jasper whitlock hale#rosalie hale#rosalie lillian hale#twilight#twilight saga#the twilight saga#incorrect twilight#incorrect quotes#incorrect twilight saga#incorrect twilight saga quotes#the twilight renaissance#twilight revival#the twilight revival#twilight renaissance
Let's just say there was an unfortunate incident involving glue and Mike Newton's butt crack
Emmett Cullen at some point, probably
#source: home improvement#emmett cullen#emmett mccarty#emmett mccarty cullen#mike newton#incorrect twilight#incorrect twilight quotes#incorrect twilight saga#incorrect twilight saga quotes#twilight#twilight saga#the twilight saga#twilight revival#twilight renaissance#the twilight revival#the twilight renaissance
Jacob: A live chicken? Who the hell do you hang out with?
Jared: Emily!
Emily: What?
Jared: Jacob’s cussing.
Jacob: I’m not cussing.
Quil: He said a bad word.
Jacob: It wasn’t bad.
Embry: Yeah, he said “hell” and “damn.”
Jacob: I did not say “damn.”
Embry: Now you did.
Rosalie: Honey, did you put hubcaps on the lawnmower?
Emmett: Yeah!
Rosalie: Why did you do that?
Emmett: I don’t know.
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Edward: Renee thinks I’m a perfect gentleman.
Charlie: Renee thinks she saw Elvis at a gas station last week.
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Rosalie: Would it help if I said I was sorry?
Edward: It might.
Rosalie: I’m sorry.
Edward: It didn’t
#incorrect twilight quotes#incorrect twilight saga quotes#incorrect twilight#incorrect twilight saga#rosalie hale#rosalie lillian hale#edward cullen#edward masen cullen#edward masen-cullen#edward masen#edward anthony masen cullen#twilight#twilight saga#the twilight saga#twilight revival#twilight renaissance#the twilight revival#the twilight renaissance#source: home improvement
Finch: Anybody can do what you do.
Race: Oh really? You think you could do what I do?
Finch: Oh please. How hard is it to tell bad jokes and screw up all the time?
Race: It’s a lot harder than it looks.
Charlie: Bella’s been in the hospital so much they gave her a preferred customer card.
Bella: Yeah, one more head injury and we win a trip to Hawaii.
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Enjolras: This is not a party for kids.
Gavroche: Ooh, what are you going to do, sit around and tell dirty jokes?
Grantaire: Waste of time, Marius wouldn't get any of them
Jane: I thought you said it was a technical problem.
Darcy: Technically, I was the problem.
Jesse: I don’t want Ma to hear this.
Miles: What’d you blow up this time?
Jesse: The toaster, but she knows about that.
Marius: (Talking about mice) They’re dirty, they carry disease, they eat garbage
Courfeyrac: So does Grantaire, you’re not afraid of him.
Davey: This is not a party for kids.
Les: Ooh, what are you going to do, sit around and tell dirty jokes?
Jack: Waste of time, Crutchie wouldn't get any of them.
Jane: After all, a safe workplace is a happy workplace, isn’t it?
Darcy: I wouldn’t know.
Katniss: This is not a party for kids.
Prim: Ooh, what are you going to do, sit around and tell dirty jokes?
Katniss: Waste of time, Peeta wouldn't get any of them.
Let’s just say there was an unfortunate incident involving glue and Javert’s butt crack
Gavroche Thenardier at some point, probably