Jesse: Ye of little faith, you doubted me?
Miles: Ye of little track record, of course I did!
Mae: I’m leaving for the next couple days so i left a jar full of advice. For example, this one says “Jesse stop doing that” and it applies all the time
Jesse: Why does everyone assume the worst of me?
Miles: It saves time.
Winnie: Jesse, why are you making that face? Is the coffee bad or something?
Jesse: Miles put salt in my coffee because I annoyed him, but I’m going to continue to drink it because I’m petty and I refuse to let him win.
Jesse: I don’t want Ma to hear this.
Miles: What’d you blow up this time?
Jesse: The toaster, but she knows about that.
Mae: Jesse, is it true that you spent three days in the trunk of Miles’ car waiting to scare him?
Jesse: No.
Winnie: It was five.
Jesse: I want to punch somebody!
Miles: Jesse, you don’t want to fight. I’ve known you all your life and I know what you really want is a piece of cake.
Jesse: A piece of cake, Miles? Your brother is devastated and you offer me cake!? You just tell me one thing! Is it chocolate?
Miles Tuck: Does death have a yelp page?
Angus Tuck: That’s impossible, why?
Miles Tuck: Because the service is terrible. I’ve been waiting for years for the sweet release.
Jesse: I don’t see why I couldn’t stay home.
Mae: Because we’re having a fun family outing.
Jesse: Can I at least drive?
Mae: I said fun, not tragic.
Winnie: I really love the whole ‘good cop bad cop’ thing you two have going on.
Jesse: It’s not really a thing, it’s more like I’m nice and Miles… isn’t.
Jesse: *reading from a joke book* Listen to this one: It’ll kill ya!
Miles: Well it’s a little late for that, but go ahead.
Jesse: Welp, looks like it’s time to move onto plan 2.
Winnie: You mean plan B?
Jesse: That would insinuate I only have 26 plans.
Jesse Tuck: Attention!
Miles Tuck: What now?
Jesse: Nothing I just need attention.
Jesse: Mom I think I speak for all of us…
Miles: He doesn’t!
Angus Tuck: We are not mad. We are just disappointed.
Mae Tuck: No, we are mad.
Angus: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide.
Mae: No, we're not!
Angus: I am not a mind reader
Miles: How could you possibly get into this much trouble in one day?
Jesse: It didn't take me the whole day.