Me: Hi. My name is Tori Randall and I have a situation. I need a transcript sent to UT by midnight tonight. I thought that I had this transcript sent a week ago, but UT told me they didn't have it yesterday. I then discovered that I have a hold on my account to the tune of $1700. This is because a meal plan was charged to me for a semester that I WASN'T EVEN ENROLLED AT THE UNIVERSITY DURING. I had a medical withdrawal in the fall of 2011 and haven't returned to the university since. This charge is for the spring 2012 semester. I have literally been on the phone with your school since 8:00 AM this morning. I had a terrible experience at your university and now your university is going to prevent me from attending the university I want to. I have talked to the transcript office, financial services, billing, housing and back again and they all tell me the same thing -- they don't have the authority to to remove the erroneous charge. I need this taken care of today. So, here's what you're going to do. You're going to put me on the phone with someone who DOES have the authority to clear this charge. In fact, you're going to put me on the phone with the highest authority you have access to. I don't care how you do this, You're just going to do it. Okay?
University of Houston: FUCK. OKAY.