Wow

People can be awful, privacy ignoring harpies. 

I don't know. Just. Having been someone who was relatively in the public eye for part of her teenage years, what people feel willing to say about celebrities on the internet continues to shock and appall me. 

Like, some pretty horrible stuff was said about me back in the day. And of course I didn't take any of it personally, I couldn't. You had to just laugh it off. But my little brush with fame is NOTHING compared to what actual proper celebrities have to deal with. Even when they're beloved by fans! There's just this ravenous need for information about their personal lives. And then, when those private things come out, everyone feels like they have this authority to judge. And I understand that impulse, but that's exactly what it should stay: an impulse. That isn't a whim to be acted upon.

I don't know. People are just cruel. And when they aren't cruel they're intrusive. And when they aren't intrusive hopefully they're respectful. And I know I haven't always been a super respectful person. I've been that uncomfortably obsessed person before. I still obsess about things but I try to keep my private thoughts about the obsession, well... private. I feel bad when I objectify someone, regardless of whether they're in the public eye or not.

Similarly I have said rude things about people in the spotlight and felt like a horrible person for days afterward. I have no qualms about saying someone is attractive or paying them a compliment on their craft. Additionally I have no qualms about critiquing the performance of an entertainer. Because that's their job and I don't feel as if I'm over stepping by assessing their workmanship. But there's a point when critique becomes hatred and when compliment becomes offensive.

I also completely understand having objectifying or "inappropriate" thoughts and opinions about others. I have them too. But I don't put them in writing and post them on the internet for people to see. I've even gone back to old forums I used to haunt when I was younger and deleted posts I felt like I shouldn't have made. I don't see anything wrong with a healthy admiration of someone. (healthy being the operative word here.) I don't see anything wrong with fantasy. And I would never judge someone based on their explicit adoration of a celebrity, but I can't deny that it sometimes makes me uncomfortable. 

I don't know what I'm getting at anymore.

I think it's that...

There's a fine line between flattering and overstepping. And you know what, in the comfort of your home, or in the company of friends, you say and do whatever the hell you want. If you want to go on about what you would do to Andrew Garfield if he were in the room, you make that pretend sexual advance! I just think that people need to be more careful about what they're willing to share for all the world to see. Because the internet isn't as big a place as we think it is sometimes and you never know who's gonna stumble onto what. And I guess, it's the same as being a celebrity. 

When you put yourself in the public eye you have to be aware of and accept the consequences. 

Similarly, when you write something on a public blog or forum, you have to be prepared for anyone to see it and you have to be prepared for what said person might think or do because of it. 

In fact, I'm thinking about not publishing this right now because I don't want to deal with any backlash, but this also something I feel strongly about. I don't believe in censorship. You should be allowed to say whatever the fuck you want, but think first. Just, think for a moment. I'm sure there are things I've said on this blog that I'm not proud of. In fact I know there are things in my archive I'm not proud of. 

Just. I don't know. I don't want to be preachy. I just...

Respect. Respect is important. 

Aretha Franklin knew it. 

And I do too. Just.

I don't know. Let's just all respect each other as human beings? CAN'T WE ALL JUST EAT CAKES AND RAINBOWS AND BE HAPPY?

And now I've gone on for far too long about this. 

OI

-Tori

I Have This New Rule For Myself

Whenever I post something about a celebrity/actor/generallyawesomehumanbeing,

I stop.

I imagine that said person is reading what I'm posting.

I imagine what their reaction could be, whether it be flattered, uncomfortable, appreciative, upset, or to laugh humorously, pat me on the back and say "well done!"

And I try to tailor my posts accordingly. If I think something is a liiiiiittle too creepy and verging on "terrifying" as apposed to "obviously a joke," I edit it. 

And it makes me feel like a better fan. I have a hard time expressing admiration and respect without sounding absolutely nuts and this rule helps.

And I definitely feel bad when I break it.

Like the other day when I insulted Kaley Cuoco, I feel bad about that. And I know she'll never ever read it, but I feel bad just the same, ONLY because I had no right to criticize her intelligence. I have no qualms about saying I find her BBT character annoying and unfunny, because that's a judgement based on my perception of her performance. I'm critiquing her work, not her personality. And that's a different ballgame. 

I feel even worse when I break it in the opposite direction, meaning when I overstep my boundaries when speaking about someone I admire. 

Like, take this David Tennant appreciation thing I've got going on. I think he is a BRILLIANT actor, is incredibly attractive, has got charm out the ASS (from what I've seen,) and is all around one bad ass mother fucker. 

I would never in a million years consciously disrespect him, his family, or his privacy. There is, however, an undeniable longing for knowledge when it comes to admiration. Would I like to know his life story? Sure! If he was willing to be in a room with me long enough to tell it, I would be eternally grateful. That being said, I wouldn't tread where he didn't want me to. I wouldn't ask about information he left out unless it seemed appropriate and vital to the 'story.' 

He has a right to his secrets just like we all do. 

Yes, he's in the public eye. Yes, he made the choice to be in the public eye. That doesn't mean he ceases to be a human being. And I'm not trying to preach to anyone because I think the majority of Tumblypoos are incredibly respectful and lighthearted in their fandoms. I just wanted to write down some thoughts about the whole thing. 

Odds are, if I'm following my rule, anything I post about a public figure on this blog is something I would be okay with that actual public figure seeing. 

David Tennant is allowed to be aware that I am in AWE of his talent. 

He is also allowed to be aware that sometimes his existence makes me flop around like a dying squid because I'm overcome with FEELS. 

He should ALSO KNOW that my admiration tends to manifest itself in anger, so when I yell at The Tenth Doctor to "STOP IT. JUST STOP IT RIGHT NOW. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME!" It is the sincerest compliment I can give. 

And that's fine. IF he somehow bizarrely stumbles upon this I am FINE with him thinking I'm a little bit loony and a little bit fangirly and hopefully a whole lot more appreciative of what he does. 

Also, Kaley Cuoco is allowed to know I'm not fond of Penny. I doubt she would even care. 

The internet is a weird thing that can be both private and open to the whole world. And you gotta ride that line. You gotta find where you're comfortable and where your middle ground is. 

Anyway. Enough blabber. I gotta go get ready for a thing. 

-Tori