You should all know that my therapist told me it's perfectly acceptable to invest emotions in narratives and to hold up fictional characters as idols worth emulating*. 

Oh and also that blogging and being part of an online community is perfectly healthy. In fact, she encourages me to use tumblr to talk about my problems and make connections with others. 

SO HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?????

*as long as your concern for said narratives and characters doesn't overshadow your concern for yourself. 

So I wear an apron at my place of employment and I want to get some buttons to put on it. One of my coworkers has this stupid button that says "My other ride is a unicorn" and I need to top her. Not sexually. 

Oh god I've been reading way too much Johnlock fanfiction lately. 

Anyway, I was thinking fandom buttons. Obviously, because I'm always thinking of fandoms and almost always thinking of fandom BUTTS so... the connection is easily made. I'm running low on funds (I GET PAID THIS FRIDAY BITCHES WOOT!) so I may have to make some tough decisions about which designs to buy and y'all are gonna help me. 

This is my blogging though process

Grrrrrrrr I really wish that everyone in the world would just be awesome

So done with this night. Do you ever have those people you follow who you used to really love?

and you used to try to talk to them and be friends with them

even though they actively ignored you

but they still had a great blog so you sucked it up and kept following them

and then you watched them... slowly.... inch by inch... turn into a massive judgmental asshole? 

Because that's where I am right now. 

This person made several posts about how stupid the sherlock fandom was and mocking them and laughing at them. And like, I get it. Some people get WAY too invested in something as silly as an award. 

Like, I was disappointed and a made a little post about it. And then I moved on. Because there's nothing I can do about it. 

But to openly mock people for liking something? And I'm not talking about the "fans" who stalk the actors or invade their privacy or tweet stupidly angry death threats at moffat and gatiss for not making Johnlock canon. Because I don't consider those people to be fans. When you talk about the Sherlock fandom, you're talking about the people who respect Sherlock. Not the people who take it a step too far. 

I guess I just don't understand why a fandom doesn't have the right to be slightly peeved about something like that. It happened with Harry Potter at the MTV movie awards every year and no one made fun of the Harry Potter fandom. Because yeah it was annoying to see something you liked take a hit. It's always like that. It has nothing to do with the quality of what won. I really like Kevin Costner as a matter of fact. It's just about wanting something you're passionate about to get recognition. It's validation. Everybody wants validation. 

I understand that sometimes people who call themselves fans can be radical and overzealous. But those people don't categorize a fandom. The crazies are a small piece, not the whole damn pie. 

So yeah. I thought Sherlock should have won at least one award. So sue me. I don't know. I wasn't even that bothered until I saw this guy's posts. He literally wrote something that said something along the lines of: 

"Now before I mention to people that I'm a Sherlock or a Doctor Who fan I'm gonna wait and see what kind of fan they are."

I mean the other day he fucking complained about NERDFIGHTERS. Said that he used to be one but that they started getting annoying by taking the "nerds are allowed to be apologetically enthusiastic about something" too seriously. 

And I'm just sitting here. Wondering if he realizes how much of a hypocritical asshole he is. 

How judgmental do you have to be???? I understand staying away from the dark parts of fandoms. I don't go near people who put shit in Hank Green and John Green's mailboxes and think it's okay. I don't go near people who stalk and who are irrational. 

But to assume that all people are like that before even letting them speak? What's wrong with this guy??? I just don't get it. I get lighthearted fun at a fandom's expense. The posts about people "patting the Sherlock fandom on the back" are hilarious and they get the point across that the fandom has exploded a little bit right now. 

But it's harmless fun. I'm not against banter. I just had some on my facebook status with a friend about the whole thing. And it was fine. Because we fucking respect each other and we know that we both like to argue for arguments sake and that no one is gonna get their feelings hurt over something as frivolous as a television award show. 

I don't know this is big and rambling and bleh. I just am really mad that this guy is a douche. I don't understand people like that. I just don't. 

Friends don't let friends spiral into fandom feels.

I Have This New Rule For Myself

Whenever I post something about a celebrity/actor/generallyawesomehumanbeing,

I stop.

I imagine that said person is reading what I'm posting.

I imagine what their reaction could be, whether it be flattered, uncomfortable, appreciative, upset, or to laugh humorously, pat me on the back and say "well done!"

And I try to tailor my posts accordingly. If I think something is a liiiiiittle too creepy and verging on "terrifying" as apposed to "obviously a joke," I edit it. 

And it makes me feel like a better fan. I have a hard time expressing admiration and respect without sounding absolutely nuts and this rule helps.

And I definitely feel bad when I break it.

Like the other day when I insulted Kaley Cuoco, I feel bad about that. And I know she'll never ever read it, but I feel bad just the same, ONLY because I had no right to criticize her intelligence. I have no qualms about saying I find her BBT character annoying and unfunny, because that's a judgement based on my perception of her performance. I'm critiquing her work, not her personality. And that's a different ballgame. 

I feel even worse when I break it in the opposite direction, meaning when I overstep my boundaries when speaking about someone I admire. 

Like, take this David Tennant appreciation thing I've got going on. I think he is a BRILLIANT actor, is incredibly attractive, has got charm out the ASS (from what I've seen,) and is all around one bad ass mother fucker. 

I would never in a million years consciously disrespect him, his family, or his privacy. There is, however, an undeniable longing for knowledge when it comes to admiration. Would I like to know his life story? Sure! If he was willing to be in a room with me long enough to tell it, I would be eternally grateful. That being said, I wouldn't tread where he didn't want me to. I wouldn't ask about information he left out unless it seemed appropriate and vital to the 'story.' 

He has a right to his secrets just like we all do. 

Yes, he's in the public eye. Yes, he made the choice to be in the public eye. That doesn't mean he ceases to be a human being. And I'm not trying to preach to anyone because I think the majority of Tumblypoos are incredibly respectful and lighthearted in their fandoms. I just wanted to write down some thoughts about the whole thing. 

Odds are, if I'm following my rule, anything I post about a public figure on this blog is something I would be okay with that actual public figure seeing. 

David Tennant is allowed to be aware that I am in AWE of his talent. 

He is also allowed to be aware that sometimes his existence makes me flop around like a dying squid because I'm overcome with FEELS. 

He should ALSO KNOW that my admiration tends to manifest itself in anger, so when I yell at The Tenth Doctor to "STOP IT. JUST STOP IT RIGHT NOW. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME!" It is the sincerest compliment I can give. 

And that's fine. IF he somehow bizarrely stumbles upon this I am FINE with him thinking I'm a little bit loony and a little bit fangirly and hopefully a whole lot more appreciative of what he does. 

Also, Kaley Cuoco is allowed to know I'm not fond of Penny. I doubt she would even care. 

The internet is a weird thing that can be both private and open to the whole world. And you gotta ride that line. You gotta find where you're comfortable and where your middle ground is. 

Anyway. Enough blabber. I gotta go get ready for a thing. 

-Tori