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#david foster wallace – @not-the-very-button on Tumblr
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I feel like the literary world raises up both the likes of David Foster Wallace and Hemingway despite their ENTIRELY OPPOSITE technical approaches to writing. And part of me just wants them both to be alive again and thrust into a literary cage match like

"POST-MODERN MY ASS. THIS PUNK'S GONNA GET IT."

"WHATEVER, HEMINGWAY. I'VE LONG SUSPECTED YOUR PENCHANT FOR SHORT SENTENCES AND 'TIGHT' PROSE IS DUE TO YOUR OVERWHELMING LACK OF TALENT."

"OKAY THAT'S IT. I'M PUTTING MY FOOT-NOTE DIRECTLY UP YOUR ASS."

"BLOODY SHOES OFF A CORPSE FOR SALE. ONLY EVER WARN BY A PIECE OF SHIT FRAUD BY THE NAME OF HEMINGWAY."

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There don't really tend to be parties or mixers per se so much here -- what you do in Bloomington is all get together at somebody' house and watch something. In Bloomington, therefore, to have a home without a TV is to become a kind of constant and Kramer-like presence in others' homes, a perpetual guest of folks who can't quite understand why somebody wouldn't own a TV but are totally respectful of your need to watch TV, and who will offer you access to their TV in the same instinctive way they'd bend to offer a hand if you fell down in the street. This is especially true for some kind of must-see, crisis type situation like the 2000 election or this week's Horror. All you have to do is call someone you know and say you don't have a TV: 'Well shoot, boy, get over here.'

David Foster Wallace. "The View From Mrs. Thompson's." Consider The Lobster. 2005.

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If you are an adult, becoming an adult, about to become an adult, or are worried about becoming an adult. take the time to watch this

actually, I think everyone, everywhere would benefit from this.  please take the time. life is hard.   SIGNAL BOOST. 

This is important. Imagine if all of Tumblr can see it. I don’t want notes I want for you to each have a better day then the last.  boost. watch. 

Watch this. it might change your life.  reblog. spread the word. 

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wait do you not like david foster wallace because that might cause me to reconsider our friendship

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No! No, I really like David Foster Wallace. I mean, he was a genius. No one can deny that his command of the English language was extraordinary. I've read a couple of his essays and really enjoyed those. And what I read of Infinite Jest was really engaging. I just think he rides a fine line. His work can very easily slip into the "complexity for complexity's sake" trap. And I have very little tolerance for that kind of uppity nonsense. It's bombastic and obnoxious. I love meta-fiction. I love satire and meaty work. I love to dissect and analyze. But if you're writing purely to impress? Just to be as clever as you possibly can? Then the work becomes gutless, soulless,  and heartless

And that's all I got from The Pale King. I mean the pages and pages explaining tax code??? The chapter's being labelled as "sections," the non-linear timeline, the run-ons that, rather than impress and serve their purpose, render the reader nauseous and confused. 

I don't see the point in all that. I'm very much from the Hemingway/King school of writing. Say what you have to say, say what you want to say, what you need to say, and say it with the clearest language you can. There is no need to wrap prose up in a pretentious little bow. 

And sometimes DFW does this. Other times, I find him really enjoyable. 

Just not The Pale King. 

And admittedly it isn't finished and I think it probably could have been something great. But as it stands.... I'm not about it. 

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hobbit-queen

Holy shit Jordan, looks like your wish for a child as a main character in a horror game came true!

NOPE 

NOPE NOPE NOPE

NOPE

Literally crying. This horrifying.

Ever since my niece was born I've had an increasingly low tolerance for seeing fictional children in dangerous situations. 

When reading David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest I had a panic attack very early on in the novel and had to stop reading. Why? Due to the simple anecdote he tells about eating black mold as a child. The visual of his mother screaming and crying and begging for help and thinking that her child is going to die. I just. I can't. 

Then one time a friend and I started to watch Trainspotting because I'd always wanted to see it. Of course the main characters are heroine addicts. And they're having this big heroine party and there's this little baby just crawling around near the needles. At that point I started to squirm, thinking I knew where it was going. When they all wake up they hear this woman screaming. And they go into the nursery and the baby is lying dead and blue in it's crib and they show it. They show this utterly realistic infant corpse. I literally ran out of my friends house, got in my car, and began hyperventilating and sobbing. I was pretty livid with him for a while because he'd KNOWN about my Infinite Jest episode. But he felt really sick about the whole thing and he hadn't meant to make me freak out. He just hadn't been thinking. 

But

This game. 

This game is literally my worst nightmare. Watching the preview I wanted to scream myself hoarse. 

My worst fear is something happening to my niece. And I try, every time I see her, to block out the images of those things. I watch her constantly. I pick her up when she gets even slightly close to a wall socket or a sharp edge. And this game... this game plays directly into that fear: The fear that a helpless child could get caught up in something this sinister and that you, the adult, the guardian, can do nothing to help.

That's honestly one of the only reasons I found Paranormal Activity 2 frightening: Because when you place an innocent at the hub of that kind of situation, it is unbearable for me. 

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Kitty Appreciate Post and Getting My Literary Shit Together

I'm supposed to write tonight aren't I?

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I KNOW THAT THIS IS HELPING ME BUT IT KIND OF FEELS A LITTLE BIT LIKE TORTURE. 

Can't I make a list or something? Lists are cool right?

RIGHT?

GODDAMMIT. 

I mean, I want to write something that isn't going to bore the sweet ever loving shit out of the 50 or so people who subscribe to me (I really don't know why most of you are interested in my insanity, but I appreciate it.) I would, however, be purrrrrfectly content banging out a few paragraphs that describe my beautiful kitty in great detail.

PICTURES ARE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS AREN'T THEY?????

If you're anything like my family and friends, you'll soon grow weary of kitty talk. Most of you simple wouldn't be able to handle that amount of cuteness on a daily basis. Ella is queen kitty of all time.

...ahem.

So maybe I'll write about the ridiculous number of books I need to read and how, in recent years, it has become increasingly difficult for me to complete a novel. Obviously there are exceptions. Hunger Games was an easy read and I flew through that series and I'd been looking forward to The Fault in Our Stars for a long fucking time. 

But, for instance, I've been reading Jane Eyre for two months now. And It's not that I don't enjoy the novel! I LOVE the novel! I have a decent amount of free time! I'm just defective or something!

AND FUCK YOU GUYS I'M GONNA MAKE A LIST GODDAMMIT:

Books I am supposed to read/finish at some point in the near future (in order from most important to least.)

1. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

2. The Pale King - David Foster Wallace

3. How to Interpret Literature - Robert Dale Parker

4. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

5. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson (SO I CAN FINALLY SEE THE FUCKING MOVIE)

6. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (literally started this book a year ago)

7. A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess (started this book MORE than a year ago)

8. One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kessey (I own it and why haven't I read it?)

9. Bonfire of the Vanities - Tom Wolfe (see above)

So yeah 

I need to get my literary shit together

and fast.

Because The Pale King is on loan from a friend and that book is fucking LONG.

And, due to the fact that DFW was amazeballs, I have to be alert to fully appreciate his work. This is a problem, given that I like to read right before bed, a time when I have been known to say things like: "Jesus has sexy abs."

Not the ideal time.

Alright, well this was a shitty blog entry. You know it and I know it so let's just call a spade a spade.

I'm gonna go to bed...

AFTER DEVOURING A BOWL OF DULCE DE LECHE CHEERIOS MOTHER FUCKERS!

-A tired and sleep deprived Tori

P.S. A SPIDER JUST BIT MY ASS. WHAT IS THIS?

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