About Me - TL;DR

Feel free to check out my creative projects, including my webnovel, Total Entropic Denial, my amateur music production, and some of the programming I've done!

Update: For my wellbeing and peace of mind as well as my own, minors DNI with any posts that mention NSFW topics. You should already not be following me, but sometimes other people reblog my nsfw posts and I end up with 15 year olds posting discourse in the notes.

See my full about me for more info!

Because I was too scared to put my name on a form when I first came out eight years ago, I'm now going to have to wait that same time over again to access medical care beyond hormones (which I have to pay for expensively with my own money).

Eight-ish years to access a service which most likely won't even exist in eight years, to be clear.

The NHS does not provide trans healthcare. The provision they do have is not a legitimate attempt to treat people, it is the barest minimum they can get away with to serve as a legal excuse. Trans people in the UK are denied what is uncontroversially regarded to be necessary medical care internationally, by the state medical body, solely because they are transgender. Cis people can access the same medication from their GP, or with a very short wait time.

This segregated system is evil and unacceptable, and the same NHS is currently busily dedicating its resources to holding reviews to improve it. Oh, sorry, I mean "strip it back even further", because according to their reviews access to gender affirming care is too easy.

I need people to understand that this is one of the biggest rights issues in this country today, and I am begging people to care enough to fight against this on a timescale that isn't in the decades. Please.

Imagine you could live as a brain in a jar hooked up to a computer and the Internet. You could view all websites, talk to people online over text and with a computer generated voice program, play video games, watch videos, movies and TV, read any fiction that is available online. You would feel no pain, and only the brain would age, allowing you to live far beyond the point where a body usually falls.

However, you would have no physical awareness, no senses other than video/audio of your attached device, and you wouldn't be able to interact physically with the world in any way that isn't mediated by signals over the Internet. Hormone responses would be simulated by your life support system, but that would be it.

The bad thing about having a mental illness is that it lives in your own brain and has access to your own knowledge and expertise, so sometimes when you level up so does it. In often terrifyingly competent ways

I don't know about cultured but; go to events, meet people at events, ask what events they and their friends go to, repeat consistently multiple times a week for a year.

If the events in question happen to be poly and kink events then the sex will pretty naturally follow from this.

Is still wild to me how actively culturally queer and slutty I've managed to become in a year.

I set out deliberately to do this. But even I'm shocked by my success level.

I have a disease that causes me to fall a little bit in love with every girl I meet and it's called being gay

Which sounds good and in most cases yes but also consider that when one is also polyamorous the situation can spiral wildly out of control lmao

I know that using one's money to buy weed when you are low on funds is ordinarily a pretty silly decision.

But if you are buying said weed in order to hang out more with a cool stoner girl then perhaps that makes it into a very smart and based decision... hmmmm.......

Chat are we cooked or is it just me

Being trans is not a rich person things but being trans and able to fully physically transition absolutely is.

I want to find whoever is running the NHS gender provision and break their kneecaps (the previous statement was facetious and not a threat of violence)

You know the fictional portrayal of a trans character is on-point when their fictional therapy session actually sorta fucking gets to you.

Like yes, maybe I do in part feel compelled to press myself with ever greater fidelity into the mold of an attractive, highly sexual woman to compensate for the inherent feeling of inadequacy in my ability to attain femininity I get from having been AMAB and gone through testosterone puberty. That's a damn good point, fictional therapist in a TV show.

The complicating factor with that though is that it's not that I'm doing something I don't enjoy out of a feeling of obligation; rather, I am fighting to make myself someone I genuinely want to be and to do things I genuinely want to do, I just can't really shake the feeling that I'm always five steps behind everyone else due to the circumstances of my birth and the less mutable ways my body is shaped.

Maybe that does make me want to go further, harder and faster than I might otherwise in order to compensate, but then why shouldn't I, honestly I deserve to feel like I can have what I want instead of being locked out of it.