The epistemology crisis has gotten so bad that football coaches are reverting to animist worship of a solar deity.
The Trumpification of the English language continues
A collection:
Jay Cutler doing great in retirement.
Why would institutional-incompetence-enjoyers bother with FTX or OpenAI when the New York Jets are right there, waiting for you?
northshorewave reblogged
help I can’t stop laughing at this
Just another day of college football having a normal one.
A 17-year-old tried to mug an NFL player (Ricky Pearsall) for his Rolex yesterday, shot him, Pearsall grabbed the gun and shot him back. Police arrested him and he's in custody. Pearsall is in stable condition but no word on if/when he'll play this year.
I feel like even if you're the kind of dude who'd shoot someone for their watch, there are better targets out there than a 22-year-old professional athlete.
Anyway, season starts this Thursday. Can't come soon enough.
NFL stars who look like Just Some Guy From Work: A Quadriptych
On Halloween of 2021, a pet capuchin monkey bit a young trick-or-treater in Austin, Texas. The monkey belonged to a stripper named Pole Assassin (real name Danielle Thomas), who at the time was dating Jeff Banks, an assistant coach for the University of Texas football team who was married with three children at the time. Today, Mr. Banks and Ms. Assassin got married. Love wins. No word on if the monkey was the ringbearer or the officiant or what.
northshorewave reblogged
Reading sports headlines while pretending sports doesn't exist suggests a fascinating world of magic and whimsy.
For everyone in the notes like 'wtf is this harry potter-ass name', may I present:
RIP Larry Allen and his NFL-record 700-pound bench press.
Imagine playing a sport that selects for the physically strongest 0.01% of men on earth and being known as unusually strong. That was Larry Allen.
Rating: NOT CUTE. Football players only threaten to go to law school when they're severely stressed and understimulated.
There's a guy going through the NFL Draft threads dropping Napoleonic history on everyone.
The presumptive first pick in tomorrow's NFL draft is USC quarterback Caleb Williams, who has been known to paint his nails before big games (usually with 'FUCK (4-letter name for opponent)') and rocks a hot-pink phone case, so prepare for some cat four Masculinity Discourse if he has a good rookie year (which, as a Bears fan, please yes god save me from this hell).