ISSUE 1151: cog not funny

14 november 2024

Accidentally wound up on "hear me out cake" tiktok, and I swear, if another one of these bitches puts down an at-most-unconventionally-attractive human man, Lady Dimitrescu or Nick Wilde/Robin Hood I am going to lose my fucking mind.

Saw one where the first person they named was Disney's Aladdin and I tapped out so hard I entered a fugue state and didn't regain full consciousness for like a solid hour.

Girlies giggling and gasping because they said their 'hear me out' was Gill from Finding Nemo, like

I'm so sorry, babygirl, but that's a hot fish. I know you thought you were being so controversial, but that is one of the most fuckable cartoon fish in existence. This is weaksauce.

String identified: Accta "a t ca" tt, a a, at t tc t a at-t-cta-attact a a, a tc c / a gg t cg . a t t t a a ' Aa a ta t a t a g tat a 't ga cc a . G gggg a gag ca t a t 'a t' a G g , ' , ag, t tat' a t . tgt g cta, t tat t t ca cat tc. T aac.

Closest match: Biomphalaria glabrata genome assembly, chromosome: 11

(image source)

please do not the snail.

please do not the me.

2010. A Japanese woman sits down to take photos of her shiba inu dog for her blog. Suddenly, a man leaps out of a time portal. "Sorry, I can't let you do this. I cannot tell you why." She asks: "Is it forbidden knowledge from the future?" He sighs: "No, it's just too fucking stupid to explain."

a giant, glass shattering noise comes from the sky that is unmistakably the smash bros announcer saying “KING DEDEDE”. it makes headlines worldwide and people are scared. scientists find that the source of the noise was a dead star 2.7 billion light years away

Knitting, 2021 - by Joseph Ford, English

this is one of a [series] and they're all fantastic

joseph ford is the photographer and the knitter who made the pieces is nina dodd (ninadoddknits.com)

She franken on my christ till I get sued for obscenity

it’s been long enough i’m making an executive decision that we all need to go reread the tgi fridays infinite mozzarella sticks article

still just as good as i remember it

The link is broken nooooo

burning of the fucking library of alexandria right here. anyway everyone say thank you wayback machine

Happy ten years of Caity weavers infinite mozzarella sticks article

they should invent skin picking that is good for your skin

Brush a thin layer of white glue over your skin and let it dry.

there really are few emotions i find more compelling in a story than "you should be afraid of me. please don't be afraid of me"

in the US we only have 3 genders. american beauty, american psycho, and american pie

What about American idiot

well we all know which gender i am for forgetting this one

tumblr please stop telling me to wd40 a mouse

smoked that shit that made george so curious

@laurenthemself

THE WAY THE SECOND ONE JUMPS FOR UPPIES