"if you don't have your own conscience, crowdsourced is fine" — amos burton, probably

i sometimes like characters that fucking suck. when a character is a shit head in just the right way it can be so funny and/or compelling. like this is my beloved character, Asshole The Hater. they suck and i love them. someone dropped them into a ditch on the side of the road and i picked them out of the ditch and put them in my pocket

sorry for romanticising the mundane. i have little else

Are you trapped on tumblr right now?

Is there something you planned to do before you got trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Are you yelling at yourself to get up and do the thing, but you can’t, because you’re trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Consider this your save point.

Put tumblr down, stand up, stretch, and go do the thing you planned to do. Future you will be incredibly grateful.

Things people in the notes have been able to do thanks to this post:

I need y’all to know that you’re doing amazing, and I’m so glad that I was able to help you break out of a procrastination loop you did not want to be stuck in.

Helpful post I’ve added to my queue in case it helps someone else at the random point when it’s posted.

I love seeing this on my dash. It honestly helps me so much. I log off when I see it if I’m scrolling in bed (after queuing or scheduling it for my future self) and it’s made me not so compulsive about Seeing Everything.

I turned on closed captions for the Swedish Chef and I just started weeping with laughter.

These captions are peak Muppet and Jim Henson would be delighted.

how can you post this and not link to the original on the official Muppets youtube

It's crazy how you have to choose to be different and then once you do it's not even over - you have to choose it again and again forever and yes one day it will feel so natural you don't even notice it anymore but there is no short cut to there, just willpower and repetition

I love Amos Burton, love the way you can see the little ding in his brain when he decides someone is worth killing and dying for

I can’t stop thinking about them

Captive Prince made such a point of showing that Damen and Laurent are both smart as well as physically skilled and so many people still want to put them in the categories of Smart Weak and Dumb Strong

In the end it was Damen who won the political battle with his wits and it was Laurent who won the sword fight with his skill

That is literally a major part of the plot in the first book, that everyone sees Damen as a brainless brute and doesn’t realize how smart and calculating he is while they treat him like he’s nothing but his physical prowess. Laurent was convinced he was a big evil strong man who has to cheat to defeat actually talented and intellectual opponents and has to learn that he’s actually cunning and kind and hard working with a strong sense of honor

I don’t get how you can read three books that make this so clear over and over and come out of it with the impression that Damen is the big strong idiot

netflix subtitles are great for when you want to read a caption with like 50% resemblance to what's being spoken

character in a movie: buddy, i'm gonna tell you what i've got to do

netflix subtitles: i'll say what i must do

character in a movie: *exhales*

netflix subtitles: (blows raspberry)

character in a movie: ciao!

netflix subtitles: (in italian) bye!

*character in a movie: ciao!

netflix subtitles: (speaks foreign language)

IF YOU LIVE IN THE USA

THIS IS ILLEGAL

REPORT THEM TO THE FCC

THEY HAVE A LINK ON THEIR WEBSITE TO RWPORT IT

ITS REQUIRED BY THE ADA THAT SUBTITLES EXACTLY MATCH THE DIALOGUE

i reported basically every Star Trek show on Paramount+ because the subtitles were all fucked up. they sent me auto emails to let me know they were working on it, and then a real life human being got in touch with me after they had fixed it, to ask if i was still experiencing the issue. they WILL do something, they are required by FEDERAL LAW to do something.

i think you guys are just racist actually