Today is May 16th, which is the birthday of Thomas Brodie-Sangster, and because I couldn’t really give him a gift personally, I decided that I would write a poem instead that is dedicated to him, a poem that narrates how I started and grew to love him. So, here it goes. :)

Caught Up in You

 By: © Rikki Allessandra Suarez 

Sometimes, falling in love suddenly comes in a heartbeat

You never saw it coming and without knowing, it just made you complete

Love is an unpredictable thing which we always thought is right

We can fall in love by being close to someone or by seeing him at first sight

 Maybe I could say that I am losing my mind

When I got attracted by watching you one time

Maybe it’s stupid to say that I’m in love with you

When we never even met, and me, you never even knew

 I guess the story started from day back when

It all went back to the time when I was just a kid then

I was young and I don’t think whenever I do

I was only naïve to the world…but that was before I met you

 When I was a child, I was the kind who liked boys from motion pictures

Brave heroes or interesting villains — all admired out of personal leisure

It was the kind of crush that would never last or would never deepen

But that was a belief until you came in, and then I was suddenly smitten

 Honestly, I believed it was foolish when we like boys straight from the TV

I used to get disgusted with those kinds of girls, before it happened to me

And when I saw your face on the screen, it felt like a reality that’s too good to be true

Because just when I saw you for the first time, boy, I was so caught up in you

 Before I even knew it, I began looking you up in any way that I could

Learning your life, knowing what you like, coz somehow I felt like I should

Not long enough, my mind was totally bombarded with nothing but your name

And I should’ve known right then, nothing was ever going to be the same

 I always thought the admiration would just flick off, something that merely passes by

But the time came up so fast and there is something I felt that I couldn’t deny

You are just a boy who looked younger than your actual age

And I’m just a girl who fell in love with you just by looking at your picture on a page

 I couldn’t understand why after all the times I was somehow knowing you

I have to delve into something I couldn’t even properly construe

Right now, my strong liking to you is nothing for me to lie about

Because it became so real and so intoxicating that I couldn’t speak out

 I have no hopes in becoming your girl, that’s what I understand

For I’m here in this part of the world while you’re found somewhere in England

However, when someone’s in love, distance is nothing but a mere number

And when I know it is true, everything around me doesn’t matter

 I admit I’m jealous when you’re linked with girls who are so pretty

For they had the chance to see you, and it would never happen to me

It’s the truth when I dream of you becoming my knight in shining armor

Yet it is stupid to think because in real life, we could never be together

 I know I shouldn’t have loved you this way

Because I know it would hurt so bad, and I don’t know what to say

I know I should have stopped the feelings for you from the start

But it’s too late now because a spear is now pierced in my heart

 Oh, God! What a story I am having in my hand!

A story about a love for a boy who’d never be my man

Oh, love, for once, why can’t you be decent and be kind?

Why do you have to indulge me in becoming out of my mind?

 Sometimes, I’d wish you’d go here and tell me things like,

“You’re the girl in my dreams; you’re the one who shines my night”

Oftentimes, I’d look at your face and out of control, I smile

Because I was able to have you even if it’s just for a while

 But who am I to like someone who I never even personally knew?

I’m no one special, just another crazy fan who’s hopelessly in love with you

Maybe someday we’ll meet unexpectedly somewhere

But right now, all that’s in my heart is nothing but…despair

 Stephen Chbosky says we accept the love we think we deserve

Yet in this rocky and treacherous road, all I could do is to swerve

I don’t want to hurt myself just because I’m in love with a superstar

I want to tell myself that there are a lot of better boys and they are not far

 This is a story that I wanted to keep before I go old

A story about a teenage girl who wanted her love for a boy to be told

This is me and how I’m rash to chase things I couldn’t even pursue

And boy, before I go, I just wanted to say, “I’m so caught up in you.”

Happy 25th birthday, Thomas Brodie-Sangster. Know that I’m always here to love you. Even though you’re barely aware that I exist, just know that, and it will mean the world to me. :)