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#personal – @nigerian-empress on Tumblr
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@nigerian-empress / nigerian-empress.tumblr.com

I sit before flowers 
hoping they will train me in the art 
of opening up
Nigerian. Asexual. Artist. Chicago
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It’s very weird to me that you reached out to inquire about photographing your best friends wedding, after asking for a break from our friendship.

It’s very weird to me that you kept calling me your best friend, kept saying that we’d be best friends forever, and then as soon as I acknowledge a shift, you pull back

It’s very weird that you can have these big emotions and expressions of self but when I did it, it made you uncomfortable and I had to shrink myself to make room for you.

It’s very weird that you find me useful from all angles , but, can’t provide that same level of service to me, because you can’t be that person.

It’s very fucking weird that I felt like I couldn’t be honest with how your behavior hurt me, in fear of you leaving, only to still have you leave, regardless.

It’s all…very fucking weird, and, I see, now, that I was the weird one. Hoping that I would be valued & supported, in the same way I showed to others. But, other people aren’t going to think like me. So, why not give myself that support, uplift myself and honor my worth, without the expectation of others.

At least this way, I know that I was true to me, that that validation can only be given to me, by me. Without diluting my voice and hiding in myself, I can give me what I’ve been desiring from others and as I do, I can then feel, grow, root, branch, blossom, into me.

#shinji#personal
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reblogged
reyantilles

“no one has ever said ‘you don’t look like an asexual’ lmao stop lying”

anyways i, an asexual, have been told that i don’t look like an asexual, dress like an asexual, act like an asexual, talk like an asexual. i’ve been told that i can’t be asexual bc i “flirt too much,” bc i’ve had sex before, bc i’m currently in a relationship, bc i might have sex again in the future, bc i tell dirty jokes, bc i wear “promiscuous” clothes, bc i say stuff like “i’d tap that” or “she can get it” or “i’m so gay” or “she’s so hot”, bc i write smut, bc i’m not sex-repulsed, bc i don’t act like sheldon cooper from big bang theory, etc etc etc

so how about u, a non-ace person, shuts the fuck up about what aces do and do not hear 2kforever??

this reminds me of this article http://reductress.com/post/8-turtlenecks-divert-family-glaring-asexuality/

how does someone look asexual even haha whats up with that 

#i enjoyed this#personal
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asexualadvice
Anonymous asked:

there is absolutely no place for cishet ace people at pride or in the lgbt community... idk how you can defend the place of cishet people in our safe spaces

asexualadvice answered:

Well, here’s the thing. Cishet means “cisgender hetrosexual” so if we’re talking about cisgender heterosexual folks who are also heteromantic and aren’t intersex, then I agree totally. But saying “cishet ace” is confusing as you’re either saying “cisgender heterosexual asexual,” which is contradictory and not a thing, or you’re saying “cisgender heteroromantic asexual,” wherein you recognize that asexuals are in fact not heterosexual and therefore belong in the LGBTQIAP+/MOGAI/queer community. 

We’re getting really tired of talking about this shit when we’ve shut it down so thoroughly so many times, and us mods have been discussing not entertaining this kind of question anymore. However, I continue to take them because doing nothing about this kind of hatred is allowing it to continue. If I don’t stand up to you now, my inaction tells you that it’s okay to think like this.

And it’s not okay. 

Please, remove your head from your ass for a moment and imagine with me that other people have feelings. Imagine that you are asexual and are constantly being invalidated, erased, and discriminated against by heterosexual people. Imagine that you’d like a safe space. Imagine if there’s a whole group of people who face very similar discrimination and hate from heterosexuals. Seems like the place to be, right?

Now imagine that assholes like you are saying nope, you don’t belong here. They’re telling you that  you belong with the people who are hurting you, who led you to seek out a safe space. Do you understand the hypocrisy? Do you see how what you’re doing is hurting others?

I can defend the right of all asexuals to find a safe haven in MOGAI spaces because they belong there and because I have compassion for others. Why do you think it’s okay to deny a safe space to people who need one?

-Kiowa

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nigerian-empress

WOOOOO!!!!

#personal
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reblogged
pinkschiele

yeah i would’ve knocked him tf out too lmao

akvela

Yesssss!!!! Omg!

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babycakesbriauna
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alphasandassociates
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thempress

Can we talk about how ALL THE MEN sat there and let that woman be harassed while ever woman in earshot called his as out and finally one knocked him the fuck out.

Only women protect women

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deebott

Hell fucking yeah bro. I support this. His tone was getting violent and they had to protect themselves

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nigerian-empress

Wow

#personal
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reblogged
dragonwithabeanie
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mylifelivingwithanxiety

More Tips for Dating Someone With Anxiety.

•Reassure them constantly. (This may be annoying but they will be thankful.)

•Keep them in the loop of your life. (This means share plans with them. It will keep them at ease.)

•Text them when you are on our way, or when you get home. (This may seem obnoxious but their brain will thank you.)

•Hugs. (After anxious days something as little as a hug can make things better.)

•Triggers. Identify them. (This one will be hard. Once you figure out what makes them anxious it will help you to make them feel safe.)

•No surprises unless you know it will make them happy. (Surprises can be hard to handle for anxious people. It will depend on their anxiety level.)

•Change is hard. (Try to limit major changes in your relationship if possible. Things will change but be ready to help your partner through it.)

•Be there. Just be there. (As complex as an anxiety disorder can get the best thing you can do is be there and let them know you care.)

Wish I knew this stuff before it took 3 years of trial and error. .. but I’m happily with him for 5 years and counting.

#personal
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reblogged
qarcon

The Purple-Red Scale measures attraction in two dimensions: who you’re attracted to and how you’re attracted to them. It is designed to replace the Kinsey Scale, created to simplify human sexuality while still allowing for complexity. Plus, I love the idea of going up to a hetero and telling them I’m a Level C5 Gay.

Add yours in the tags!

#I luh this#personal
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reblogged

There is hardly anything more annoying than when white people touch our hair. This is what they say and what we really hear.

#personal
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beabo
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borderlinebravery

BPD Positivity

Passionate and Intense: People with BPD experience the world to it’s fullest potential, taking on both challenging and easy tasks with intensity and emotional force.

Individual: Because people with BPD often undergo difficulty with an unstable self-image, many try to rectify this instability by cultivating personality traits that are unique and memorable.

Spontaneous: People with BPD feel free to let whimsy carry them through a life of spur-of-the-moment adventures.

Curious: People with BPD feel their curiosities very strongly and can become attached and involved with new concepts very quickly and actively.

Insightful: Because people with BPD ruminate on their lives and often go through therapy or self-help programs as part of treatment, they often have especially insightful commentary about life and it’s trials and tribulations.

Compassionate: Some people with BPD experience feelings so strongly that they even begin to feel the feelings of those around them. This is called empathy. Many people with BPD approach the world selflessly, hoping to do better for others than we do for ourselves.

Creative and Artistic: The emotional intensity of people with BPD can* make the visual, performing, and written arts a natural output.

(x)

#personal
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