I am the jellyfish - original piece by me

first piece in a 6 piece series

print available to purchase at my INPRNT

Artist: 咸鱼中下游

— Kazimierz Wierzyński, tr. by Czeslaw Milosz, “A Word of Orphists,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

A-spec people don't experience oppression?

This is built up of links and screenshots I’ve seen (basically this is all either my links or copy and paste)

“Aces don’t face oppression”

Asexuality was listed in the DSM as HSDD (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder) until 2013, making it officially a mental illness that would be treated with therapy and medication. It is still in the DSM, except that you can ‘opt out’ if you self-identify as asexual, which is great except that asexuality is still so unknown that there undoubtedly many people who are asexual but don’t know that it’s “a thing”. This means that who knows how many asexuals have been sent to therapy and told they’re sick, then been “treated” for their orientation to try and force them to experience sexuality “correctly”.

In short, our orientation has been and continues to be pathologized, and asexuals have been put through corrective therapy: x, x, x, x, x

Posts of people describing the hardship they’ve faced for their asexuality: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

The blog @acephobia-is-real has so many submissions and examples of hatred, harassment, hostility, and abuse, of aces who have been raped and/or sexually assaulted in an attempt to ‘fix’ them, and made suicidal due to aphobia and/or their own perceived brokenness, that it would be pointless for me to try and link any. Just go and start reading. Try their suicide tag.

There may be dissatisfyingly little research done on asexuality, but there has been enough done to prove that they do face discrimination, no matter how hard some may find that to believe. But guess what? A non-ace person does not get a say and waht they do or do not experience. We do not get to say things like “aces don’t get kicked out” or “aces don’t _____” any more than I as a white person get to say that things I don’t experience must not happen to black people either. Just because you haven’t experienced it personally or witnessed it with your own eyes doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. You haven’t walked in an ace’s shoes, you don’t know what they deal with. Period. You have no right.

Not even other aces can tell asexuals that their experiences aren’t real or aren’t valid. Different people can deal with different amounts of oppression, that doesn’t mean the lack of oppression is the default “truth”.

Nobody is trying to say that asexuals have it “as bad” or worse than gay or trans people, but a-specs don’t HAVE to “have it worse” to be included and for others experiences to have merit without being compared to anyone else’s. What s-specs go through, still matters and should not be compared to what others have gone through in order to matter.

“We just want to protect our safe spaces”

Aphobes have:

Are all aphobes this vile? Maybe not, but this is still the disgusting, hateful attitude festering in the gatekeeping community, and it stinks like shit. The examples that have been provided above are only a fraction of the harassment and abuse that is perpetrated on a regular basis.

“Het aces/aroaces are straight”

Some het aces identify as straight. Some het aces don’t identify as straight, they identify as asexual, and it’s not your place to label them against their will. Even other a-specs dont get to do that to others, There is no world in which aroaces, people who experience no attraction to anyone, are straight.

“We accept SGA (same-gender attracted) and trans aces”

Firstly, SGA (same-gender attraction) is a term that was used and is still used in Mormon conversion therapy, so as one can understand, a lot of people are very uncomfortable being labeled with this description. Secondly, it enforces a gender binary of “same” and “opposite” gender that leaves a large number of nonbinary people out in the cold. Is a genderfluid person only “same-gender attracted” if they’re attracted to other genderfluid people who are genderfluid in exactly the same way? How about agender, intergender, demigirl/boy people? And before the argument “well they’re included as trans” is made, there are plenty of nonbinary people who do not identify as trans. You do not have the right to label people against their will.

The standard of “SGA and trans” as requirement for entry to the LGBTQ community is used nowhere outside of aphobic tumblr, and it seems crafted specifically for the purpose of excluding aces, aros, NBs, intersex people, and others not deemed “gay enough”.

(SGA did NOT come from ‘SGL’, same-gender loving. That is a term created by black queer people and not to be appropriated by white people.)

Discussion of the history of the word ‘queer’ and why it’s better than ‘SGA’: x, x, x, x, x

There are also many “SGA and trans” aces who are against the gatekeeping and feel that they are hated by these aphobes.

Your “discourse” is harmful to all asexuals. And by the way, your rhetoric is literally indistinguishable from TWERF rhetoric.

“The LGBT community has always been about fighting homophobia and transphobia/we came together to fight homophobia and transphobia”

Despite the fact that bisexual and transgender people have always been around, and have done great things for the community, they have faced a great deal of lateral oppression from the LG part of the group that did not want to see them get an equal share of attention, support, or legitimacy. This post is not about proving LG transphobia and biphobia, but it’s so rampant that I don’t feel like I need to provide sources whatsoever. Nevertheless, here’s a collection of biphobia, and the blog @terf-callout documents some of the violent transphobia on this site, particularly in the lesbian community. This post is an example.

“The A stands for Ally so that closeted people can be the community without being outed”

No one is saying that we don’t care about closeted people, but a) even if you’re a closeted L, G, B, or T, you are still a L, G, B, or T. Allies do not need to be part of the acronym to be intrinsically welcomed. As someone said, this is like saying the ‘B’ in BLT stands for ‘bread’. We can pretty much safely assume that a sandwich is going to include bread, we don’t have to go of our way to give it a letter. Either you are outing every “ally” as a closeted queer person, or you are giving 100% cis straight people an LGBTQ member card, the very thing you are arguing against by trying to exclude asexuals.

Furthermore, this puts forth the argument “I’m willing to let cishet straight people into the community for the sake of a few closeted people” while at the same time stating “I’m not willing to let the A stand for asexuals because I don’t think letting cis heteroromantic asexuals into the community is worth giving all asexuals representation and support”. Which says that you consider asexuals less valuable and more of a threat than cis straight people.

Bonus: The History of LGBT(QQIAAP+)

“Aces have never been a part of the LGBTQ/queer community”

“Stop tokenizing bi and trans people/stop comparing bi/trans and ace experiences”

A-specs are  not the ones doing it. We are comparing it. However, when we do, we are labeled bi-phobic/transphobic

“I have proof of an asexual being homophobic/transphobic/racist/a terrible person”

Of course there are asexuals who are terrible people. There are legions of gays and lesbians who are racist and transphobic. Does that make them not gay/lesbian? Does their bigotry invalidate their sexual orientation, or remove the L and G from the acronym? No, I don’t think so. Some asexuals being bad people doesn’t justify you trying to invalidate all of us.

“’Allosexual’ is a bad word because ____”

I actually have an ‘allosexual’ tag just for posts about why ‘allosexual’ is a perfectly fine word: x, x, x, x, x. x. It simply means non-ace. You do not have to use it for yourself if you do no want to, however.

“The split-attraction model is homophobic”

What we call the split-attraction model was first described by Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, a gay advocate from the 1800s, as “disjunctive uranodioning”. (source) (credit to this post)

“The term ‘corrective rape’ was coined by South African lesbians and should only be used by lesbians”

No one means any disrespect to lesbians or other victims of corrective rape, but this is not a correct statement.

“We’ll Show You You’re a Woman” describes the violence directed towards LGBT people in South Africa, stating, “Negative public attitudes towards homosexuality go hand in hand with a broader pattern of discrimination, violence, hatred, and extreme prejudice against people known or assumed to be lesbian, gay, and transgender, or those who violate gender and sexual norms in appearance or conduct (such as women playing soccer, dressing in a masculine manner, and refusing to date men).” It goes on to say, “Much of the recent media coverage of violence against lesbians and transgender men has been characterized by a focus on “corrective rape,” a phenomenon in which men rape people they presume or know to be lesbians in order to “convert” them to heterosexuality.”

The Wikipedia article on corrective rape in South Africa states that, “A study conducted by OUT LGBT Well-being and the University of South Africa Centre for Applied Psychology (UCAP) showed that “the percentage of black gay men who said they have experienced corrective rape matched that of the black lesbians who partook in the study”.”

It is not only lesbians, but also bisexual women, transgender men, gay men, and gender non-conforming people in South Africa who experience corrective rape. This is not in any way meant to minimize the horror of the epidemic or shift attention away from lesbians, but other victims, including asexuals, deserve attention as well. Do not silence or speak over victims of rape by policing their language.

“Aces are valid, they’re just not queer/LGBTQ”

You cannot in one breath say “Asexuals are valid” and in the next deny their experiences. Spend five minutes in the community and you will see testimony after testimony from aces describing their abuse, their sexual assault(s), the countless times people have called them confused, broken, wrong, mentally ill, inhuman, sinful, and how these experiences have left them feeling hopeless, alone, alienated, subhuman, depressed, and suicidal. Almost every asexual out there will tell you a story of how their orientation has caused them pain and struggle, and you can’t call them valid while at the same time calling these experiences invalid and nonexistent.

Bonus: This is a list of all the mainstream LGBTQ groups that include asexuals.

“Form your own community!”

a) We do have our own community, because every letter in the acronym has its own community and yet is still part of the acronym, b) you fucking shits won’t stop sending us hate and bombarding us with shit meant to trigger and harass us.

“Aces take resources from other LGBTQ who need them”

I’ve seen some pretty wild claims about this one, insisting that asexuals “steal” things such as scholarships, beds at homeless shelters, food and space at pride events, suicide hotlines, and so on, yet I have never seen any actual proof that any “stealing” has ever taken place. For one thing, I thought “you’ll never get kicked out or fired for being ace”, “no one is suicidal because they’re asexual”, so why would you think aces need these resources? Either we don’t need them or we don’t use them, you can’t have it both ways.

For another, how heartless do you have to be to tell asexuals that they can’t use suicide hotlines? Do you realize that you’re saying that asexuals should be denied life-saving services? That, in essence, asexuals are suicidal due to their orientation, but you think they’re not “queer enough” so they deserve to die? Because that is the logical progression of refusing someone suicide prevention, and that’s the message aces receive when you tell them they are “stealing” suicide prevention.

LGBTQ resources offer them to asexuals, and benefit from us using them.

“Rae, asexual, 26, Maryland: No, I don’t feel accepted in the queer community. In college, I tried being out about being asexual. The result was a gay guy who lived in my building walking into my dorm room, exposing himself, and walking toward me, pants around his ankles, while describing what he was sure would cure me. Asexuality became a topic I only discussed with significant others or when someone else brought it up first. I’m pretty sure as far as the queer community is concerned, I’m straight.”

Julie Decker, “[she] has been told by several online commenters that she just needs a “good raping.”

“Also, I hope you get raped.”

“I’ve gotten several awful comments along the lines of “well I could fix that” though when I’ve brought up my asexuality…”

“My assailant maintained that what he was doing would make me realize that I wasn’t asexual or queer…”

AVEN thread– yes, ugh, AVEN, but look at the poll here– “Have you ever been threatened with sexual assault because of your asexuality?”

Here’s some choice replies from that thread:

Personal experience:  IM NOT A-SPEC! These are comments I’ve received about dating one though

and more but Im kinda starting to feel ill

(I dont like the anon but they called them straight when the anon SPECIFICALLY says they’re biromantic)

https://youtu.be/FNiMWEMBONQ

https://youtu.be/3vIwERgoDDc

I’m bisexual and genderfluid. All I see from the a-spec discourse is recycled bi-phobia and people being bigoted in the lgbt+ community. You need to stop. People are getting hurt on both sides and it needs to come to an end right now. This discourse should not exist as much as the terf discourse should not exist. You are denying people a place in lgbt+ who belong there. 

Read this post before asking me how asexuals are oppressed.

when Lemony Snicket wrote “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you everyday” that hurt me

Full paragraph hurts even more.

“ (…) I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close… I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else and I will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.”

IMMA SAVE EVERYTHINNG

me at the grown ass adults hiding behind a screen tryna insult me lol

goodbye.

Kamilah Brock spent 8 days in a NY mental health facility because she owned a BMW 

Kamilah Brock, a former New York banker, has filled a suit against the city after she was detained for eight days in a mental health facility against her will. Brock says she was committed after trying to pick up her BMW, which skeptical police did not believe she owned. To add insult to injury, Brock was then charged a hefty sum by the hospital.

WHAT THE FUCK

WTF!!!!!!

What the fuck

UPDATE

From a Grio article posted Feb. 14, 2019: 

Long Island woman loses case after being locked in mental facility for telling the truth about Obama following her on Twitter

A Long Island, N.Y., woman who sued after an eight day ordeal in a psych ward suffered an agonizing courtroom defeat Wednesday when a jury determined doctors reasonably believed she was mentally ill in September 2014, the New York Daily News reports.

Kamilah (Kam) Brock filed a lawsuit against the City of New York, a police officer and doctors at Harlem Hospital after she landed in a mental facility and was deemed psychotic for truthfully saying Obama is her Twitter follower. The 36-year-old banker wound up under psychiatric surveillance for it and decided to litigate because she says she was unlawfully held against her will and forced to take antipsychotic drugs.

The jury, however, decided that she the context of her lock-up was critical and she was perhaps experiencing an episode of “mania” as the doctors had determined.

“That’s not the first thing I’d say to somebody — that Obama follows me on Twitter,” juror Jerry Rella, 55, said. “It’s the way she’s saying it — that she’s important — the grandiosity.”

The traumatic event all began when Brock went to an NYPD stationhouse to get information on how to retrieve her vehicle, which had been impounded. Her car was taken by police after she had been pulled over on suspicion that she was high on marijuana. The substance was never found in her car. When she went to the police about her auto, she admits she was emotional, but insists she is not “emotionally disturbed.”

She told them that she follows politics, helped to make hip-hop videos and has the former president as a follower of her Twitter account — there were no lies in what she was saying. Obama follows more than 600,000 people on Twitter and in actuality, Brock is one of them.

Jurors determined that she was less credible than the three doctors, Elisabeth Lescouflair, Zana Dobroshi and Alan Labor and NYPD Officer Salvador Diaz, all who determined that Brock needed some mental health help.

Also etched in jurors minds was the fact that Brock’s legal team failed to call her father or sister to the stand who had previously made mention to Harlem Hospital staff that Brock had been acting erratically.

“We view this verdict as a total vindication for the defendant officer and doctors who sought to help Ms. Brock through her troubling episode. The jury rejected any notion that the actions of these officials was anything but appropriate under the circumstances,” a Law Department spokesman said.

Brock cried as the verdict was read.

“It’s reasonable for them to diagnose me with bipolar [sic] even though I’m telling the truth?” Brock said through tears.

“What am I supposed to do? I’m crazy because of this verdict.”

Source

DON’T CHASE, ATTRACT.

The Conflation that Romance = Sex in society messed with me for the longest time.

Ko-Fi | Commissions | DeviantART | Tumblr Art Tag | Puzzle Peaches

This one

aries: *basic human trait* taurus: *basic human trait* gemini: *basic human trait* cancer: *basic human trait* leo: *basic human trait* virgo: *basic human trait* libra: *basic human trait* scorpio: *basic human trait* sagittarius: *basic human trait* capricorn: *basic human trait* aquarius: *basic human trait* pisces: *basic human trait*

me as hell

Honestly same

This blog is Ace and Bi positive; Exclusionists don’t interact. Please & Thank you. 💜