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@nicolabarth / nicolabarth.tumblr.com

A hot mess of everything
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So ... I write fanfic occasionally. You can find me on AO3 as YouCan’tKeepMeDown.

Currently I’m only writing Star Wars related things. That might change again. I’m not gonna list every oneshot, but here a the big projects:

Ending the War (Finished)

Obi-wan Kenobi/Darth Maul
Technically Obi-Wan is supposed to hide on Tatooine and have an eye on young Luke Skywalker. But he's been fighting a war for so long, he doesn't know how to stop. One more small mission can't hurt, right?

Rage and Hope (Finished)

Obi-wan Kenobi/Darth Maul
After delivering the twins to their new families, Obi-wan starts to lose all purpose. He start to drift and ends up at a slave market fighting arena fight. This is where Maul finds him.

Casual (Series) (Finished)

Obi-wan Kenobi/Darth Maul
Obi-wan start hooking up on space tinder before the sequels and then they never stop running into each other. Maul doesn’t get cut in half by Obi-wan in this. There’s a lot of porn.
Obi-wan Kenobi/Cody/Darth Maul
When Cody gets stuck in a prison cell with Maul of all people, he tries to make the best of it. Even when the Sith figures out that Cody has feelings for his Jedi General and can't leave that fact alone.
Obi-wan Kenobi/Darth Maul, Obi-wan Kenobi/Quinlan Vos, Obi-wan Kenobi/Asajj Ventress, Obi-wan Kenobi/Commander Cody, Darth Maul/Quinlan Vos, Darth Maul/Asajj Ventress, Quinlan Vos/Asajj Ventress, Quinlan Vos/Commander Cody
Obi-wan falls to the dark side and becomes Emperor with the help of his polycule. Shenanigans ensue.
Obi-wan Kenobi/Darth Maul, Savage Opress/Asajj Ventress
Hondo gets the brilliant idea to capture Sith and Jedi alike and make them fight each other in cage matches.
Sith!Obi-wan Kenobi/Darth Maul
Obi-wan falls to the dark side during the battle on Naboo and makes Maul his apprentice.
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earlgraytay

i don't know how you can "the curtains are just blue! ACAB lol" fucking Death Note of all pieces of media

this is a show for thirteen-year-old boys. the only writers I've seen who are less subtle about what they're going for were fucking Victorians.

@rawr-monster and @eyestumblin asked me to elaborate so here goes:

Death Note is a show with a very clear central premise: no one should have the power to kill others without consequence. Not the cops, not corporations, not the Mob, not civilians, no one.

Even outside of the 2000s-era criticisms of the Japanese justice system, even if you're looking at it in a vacuum, Death Note makes it incredibly obvious what it's trying to say. It starts this off by making it very clear, right out of the gate, that the audience identification character really, really should not have this power.

For Death Note's original target audience, Light is everything you're supposed to be. He's smart, diligent, good-looking, athletic, popular but not too popular. He's The Perfect Middle-Class Japanese Teenage Boy. If you're the kind of edgy, smart Japanese teenage boy who would want to watch an anime supernatural crime drama in the mid-00s? Light is built for you to imprint on like a baby duckling.

...And then the show goes out of its way to point out, in the first proper story arc, that Light is the villain of this piece. From the introduction of L to the end of the Raye Penber/Naomi Misora arc, the show makes it very, very clear that Light is a hypocrite with a massive ego. Sure, he says that he's only killing criminals to make a better world. Sure, maybe he panicked and killed fake-L in self-defense. Sure, maybe the life of Reye Penber and any law enforcement chasing Kira were worth the clear drop in the crime rate. Maybe.

But then Light kills one of the very few unambiguously Good members of the Death Note cast, does so in a smug and cruel way, and the entire scene is framed as tragic in a way that none of the criminal deaths really were. The whole world goes quiet. And Naomi Misora stumbles off to commit suicide. By the end of that arc, even if you'd otherwise be sympathetic to Light- even if you're still rooting for him to get away with it- it's a lot harder to justify what he's doing. He's not just breaking a few eggs to make an omelet- at this point, he's actively happy to kill anyone who gets in his way.

So. Okay. The Perfect Japanese Teenage Boy (TM) can't be trusted with the power to kill indiscriminately. Maybe the problem is just that Light, as a person, is an asshole with impure motives, and if you gave the Death Note to someone who's a better person, you'd be better off. Maybe you could find someone who's motivated by love, and they'd do a better job with that power.

Everyone, say hello to Misa Amane, who is utterly driven by love and devotion, and probably one of the crazier/more evil characters on the show! She'd do anything, no matter how terrible, just because Light told her to do it. She is utterly without remorse, utterly without fear, and utterly driven by a darkly Romantic fanaticism.

Light gets to dodge what's coming to him twice because of Misa and love- once because Misa's love for Light lets him start the Yotsuba arc, and once because Rem's love for Misa becomes a diabola ex machina. In the world of Death Note, love is not a pure enough motive to let you kill indiscriminately - in fact, it makes you worse.

Okay, well, (our hypothetical edgy teenage viewer might say), cLEARLY the problem is that everyone here is too emotional, and you need to be able to detach from the situation to use the power of life and death. Of course you'd kill indiscriminately if you've got feeeeelings about it, but someone who is driven by Logic and Reason? Surely they'd never do anything wrong.

...And then L gets his hands on the Death Note, and immediately starts trying to figure out how to use it to prove that some of the rules in the Death Note are fake and Light is guilty. L's plan is to have a criminal on death row write in the Death Note and wait the 13 days to see if he dies. It's simple. Logical. Effective. It's also extremely reminiscent of the stuff Kira's been doing this entire time, and the implication is that, had L lived longer and used the Note more, he might become No Different.

(I think it's significant that in The Movie, L uses the Death Note exactly once, with himself as the victim, and he turns down the Death Note when it's offered to him. TheMovie!L is an unambiguously heroic character, and therefore, he will not kill without consequences.)

The power to kill without any consequence to yourself corrupts you. It makes you want to use it to solve more and more of your problems. It turns you into a fucking monster, one name at a time. And nothing can stop that process except refusing to use that power. Love cannot shield you. Rationality cannot shield you. Justice cannot shield you.

And every other character who gets the Death Note reinforces that theme. The Yotsuba Group? Big corporations should not get to kill without consequences. Mello? Criminals/genius detectives should not get to kill without consequence. Mikami? The Perfect Japanese Adult is outright sadistic about how he uses the Death Note. And on, and on, and on.

Near outright tells Light, in their final confrontation: "You are a murderer, and this notebook is the worst weapon of mass murder in the world." Using the Death Note is not justice; it's not going to bring about a perfect new world. It's murder, full stop. Light has become a mass murderer, a monster, by killing over and over again.

Death Note has a theme: no one should be allowed to kill without consequences, because it makes you a monster. It is not subtle about that theme. It is very, very blatant, and the only way it could be more blatant is if Near stopped to deliver an Atlas-Shrugged-style monologue about it.

and so seeing people reduce that to 'haha ACAB' gets my goat, because no. No, it's not just ACAB. anyone with the power to kill indiscriminately and without consequence- whether it's a cop, a megacorp, an autistic supergenius, a mob boss, or a perfect audience-insert- would become A Bastard.

this is a show that makes it abundantly clear that there is Symbolism and it has a Point, in the way that only stuff aimed at teenagers that's trying to be Deep can do. how you get through the entirety of Death Note and walk away with "there's no point! a cop's son decides to be the worst person ever! Light is Uniquely Terrible and that's all there is to it!" is fucking beyond me.

I was just going to blithely reblog this, and then I thought of something.

There is a category unmentioned here in the 'people who use the death note' and that category is the Shinigami. Yes, Rem's mentioned in the 'things you do for love' situation, tho she's not the only one who uses the Death Note in a selfless way (even under manipulation).

Because Rem and Gelus both use the Death Note to save Misa, and they both DIE for doing so. And that's an important context here, the Shinigami, the people who are MEANT to use the Death Note, are near-immortal immoral monsters. And the one way for them to be killed? Is to use the Death Note to benefit someone else.

Not only is there no 'good' way to use a Death Note, it was never INTENDED to be used for 'good', just as a way to elongate the lifespans of actual literal monster people in another dimension.

Death Note goes out of it’s way to have characters just straight-up monologue several times about how it’s the power to kill that’s evil and that corrupts anyone who accepts it, that there’s no good way or good person to have power over life and death. They even put the Death Note in the hands of someone who refuses to use it either directly or by proxy (Light’s father) and he gets to die peacefully with the belief that his son was innocent and Ryuk straightup explains this to the audience just to make sure everyone gets it.

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nicolabarth

This is very much what ACAB means, thought. It means, everyone who gets put in a position with the right to enact violence on others without consequences will be corrupted by it. In our society that is cops. Because the state has a monopoly on violence and it enacts that through cops and the military. Those two groups are the kinds of people who can shoot someone and even be praised for it and not face any legal consequences.

The sentiment behind ACAB is very much: It doesn't matter who gets put in this kind of position and what their intentions are, they cannot use that power for good and therefore no one should have the power to enact violence on others.

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I'd like to tell you all a story about my grandmother.

My grandparents raised their children, four girls (one of them my mother), to be fighters. My aunts marched in Washington for women's rights with babies strapped to their chests and like to joke that all of the grandchildren who came from that line (including myself) were born with picket signs in their hands.

But it started with my grandparents. They fought hard for what they believed in. They marched against Vietnam. They marched for Martin Luther King. They marched for women's rights. They marched for a better future.

But let's talk specifically about my grandmother for a moment.

My grandmother unfortunately passed away in 2016. She had to watch the first Trump election and did so knowing that it would probably be the last election she'd ever see. And there is some argument there that she could have given in to fear and defeatism. She could have decided none of it was worth it, and she could have decided that fascism had won and the world was over.

But she did something else instead.

To give some context, my grandparents had friends who were Republicans. I say were, because they shifted from the normal Republican towards the MAGA Republican we see today. And despite a very clear message from my family about how we felt, they were more than ready to still come to the funeral as if everything was normal. Like their beliefs were normal. Like they were welcome to celebrate someone who had fought so hard for the rights of other people.

These were people who would have absolutely used their rhetoric to scream and shout if they were left out or disinvited.

And so my grandmother, even past her final moments, pulled the most brilliant, petty move I've ever seen.

She'd decided ahead of time that everyone who had known her was more than welcome to attend but that she wanted everyone attending the funeral to donate money. That was the requirement to be invited. And so everyone did just that. There was no talk about what the donations were for, just that they were appreciated. I want to say that the assumption was the money would help pay for funeral expenses and give the family some support while we grieved.

Except that wasn't the case.

Because in those final moments of the funeral, the rabbi stepped forward to thank everyone, and then very cheerfully announced;

"Arlene was so happy to know just how many people were coming to join us here today. She couldn't have been more proud of her family. And I'm sure she would have been elated to see just how much money you all gave today to Planned Parenthood."

When I say that the faces of those people are enshrined in my memory, I mean it. The anger, the devastation, the rage, the betrayal. It was an absolutely gorgeous display of true defeat at the hands of a boss ass old lady who literally fought with her last breath and threw up both middle fingers all the way out the door.

What I'm saying is this.

It is very easy to feel defeated. It is very easy to think that everything is over, and there's nothing left for us to do. It's very easy to say that fascism won, that fear won, that hate won.

But that's only true if you let it be true.

There is always more that we can do. There is a future that is still worth fighting for. And it's more than possible, even when it doesn't seem like it.

And fighting is going to look different every time.

Some days it will look like picket signs in our hands.

Some days it will look like spending time with friends and family and people you love and knowing that you have a community that supports you and your vision of a brighter future.

And some days, it's pulling absolute natural level 20 petty trickster shit even after you've left the world.

Because you can always make an impact and you can always add a little brightness to life, and if that means tricking a group of MAGA idiots into throwing their money behind Planned Parenthood in the middle of your own goddamn funeral then that's what it means.

Keep fighting. People have done it before you. People will continue to do it after you.

And enjoy the little victories.

(Even the petty ones)

This entire thread has me feeling very weepy and nostalgic for the both of them so I'm letting all my feelings out here (mostly because in times like these I miss them so fucking much).

So here are a few fun facts about my grandparents.

  • My Papa was from Brooklyn. He played basketball as a teenager. His nose was permanently crooked because he broke it twice shooting hoops.
  • When he wasn't playing basketball, he was reading. He kept a record (that one of my aunts still has) of every book he read in his local library. Which ended up being every book in that library. In alphabetical order.
  • My Gramma was born in Manhatten. The two of them are born and bred New Yorkers who were not afraid to be loud and opinionated. I'm third generation New Yorker and ridiculously proud of that fact as well.
  • My Gramma had a boyfriend when she met my Papa. She broke up with him in a phone booth with my Papa next to her. Apparently they couldn't not be together. They just knew and they were almost never apart.
  • My Gramma was a model when she was young and became a teacher afterwards. They got married at 19 and 20 but wouldn't live together until after both of them became educated. Education was the most important part of life to both of them.
  • My Papa was a psychologist. He taught himself three different languages and traveled the world teaching psychology in all three languages. He was doing this when he wasn't part of the peace corps.
  • One of the best things he ever told me was "excrement is the waste of the body, laughter is the waste of the soul, and tears are the waste of the heart"
  • He also told me that sometimes everyone needs to just go outside and scream. Cursing is a bonus.
  • My Gramma was an incredible cook who took classes everywhere she traveled. China, Mexico, Spain, France, Italy, everywhere; she was committed to learning how to cook from the people whose culture the food came from. I went traveling with them more than once, and it wasn't a surprise to see a chef come out of the kitchen to give her a hug, no matter what country we were in. They all knew and loved and respected her. I miss her cooking every day. (Thankfully we have an entire book of recipes with pictures of them written down that each member of the family has. It's a prized possession).
  • My grandparents fought like hell for a better future. They fought for LGBTQ+ rights, for immigration, against racial injustice and for women's autonomy. I could go on but the list would take a while. They made sure that my aunts marched. And then I marched with my aunts when I was just a baby, and then a young kid, and then a teen, and I still march with them now that I've grown up. And it's because of them. They were two people who could always see hope in the world because they'd watched the cycle of good and bad and held firm throughout.

They'd be so proud of everyone who is also holding firm. Who is dedicated to education. Who spends time cooking warm meals with friends, who learns languages and spreads knowledge and travels and takes time to learn about other people and other cultures and other places and is always leaving a seat open at the table no matter what.

That's what they'd do. They'd leave a seat at their table empty for you. And so will I.

And they'd also tell you to please enjoy life while you do it. Because fighting is hard and necessary. But so is laughter and joy. And even in the worst of times there was never a shortage of it between them.

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reblogged

Reverse Star Wars AU writing challenge: every time canon fridges a mother, fridge the father instead. Every time a woman dies for the sake of Manpain™️, kill off the dude instead.

(I know this gets particularly complicated with Obi-Wan, because his woman-who-died-in-my-arms count is in the double digits at this point, but I have faith fandom can find a way.)

The only rule is that the story cannot be about a man. It cannot be about man angst. It has to center the women.

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nicolabarth

Maul kills Obi-wan instead of Satine, she joins forces with Bo-Katan and they sick all of Mandalore on his ass.

Anakin tries to free Shmi from the tusken, dies, and she goes on that tusken camp rampage instead.

Anakin tries to murder Padmé on Mustafar, she develops emergency force powers and kills him instead.

Talzin doesn't sacrifice herself to save Maul, she kills Sidious (can we count him as Maul's father?) and continues his plan and becomes empress of the galaxy.

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If u want to write a story about a character that’s just you but hotter with a dark twisted backstory and magical powers and a pet falcon or something, I think u should just go ahead and do that. Who’s gonna stop you? The government?? Fuck the police.

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charlon-lumi

What if someone barges in, points at said character and scream, “Mary Sue!”

Tell them to come back with a warrant

This post came across my dash again and now I am having an absolute blast with self insert hotter me that gets the girls and guys everywhere.

This is the Way

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jld-az

need a permission slip? have a permission slip

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hey reminder btw bc I'm already starting to see this I know we're all emotional and all

but do not discuss legally actionable things on tumblr

not " in minecraft" , not via slang, not Just Joking, not at all

absolutely plan what you're gonna plan but either (ideally) don't do it online or , if you must, use MUCH more secure means

something something summary line, just practice basic internet safety . in minecraft.

A reminder from the National Lawyers Guild:

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omaano

Last Line Challenge

I’d been tagged by so many people over the past… too many weeks, that at this point I will just uno reverse tag you all back at the end ^^; Life is a bit against me right now, so there weren’t much personal drawing happening but.

The last line was adding the highlight on the underside of his lightsaber hilt.

No pressure tagging back (and thank you for tagging me in the first place, the lot of you! ❤️): @whiskygoldwings @insertmeaningfulusername @chocmarss @phoenixyfriend @loverboy-havocboy

@frostbitebakery @chiliger and the few who I can tag first-ish @ghosts-of-rishi @ominouspuff @quatredraws ❤️

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