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#monty python – @nickkahler on Tumblr
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el laberinto

@nickkahler / nickkahler.tumblr.com

chronicling an eclectic labyrinth of architectural contemplation based in new york city
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Monty Python, "Political Theorist Peasants" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975

  ARTHUR:  Old woman!   DENNIS:  Man!   ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry.  What knight lives in that castle over there?   DENNIS:  I'm thirty seven.   ARTHUR:  What?   DENNIS:  I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!   ARTHUR:  Well, I can't just call you `Man'.   DENNIS:  Well, you could say `Dennis'.   ARTHUR:  Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'   DENNIS:  Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?   ARTHUR:  I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind       you looked--   DENNIS:  What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!   ARTHUR:  Well, I AM king...   DENNIS:  Oh king, eh, very nice.  An' how'd you get that, eh?  By       exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma       which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society!       If there's ever going to be any progress--   WOMAN:  Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here.  Oh -- how d'you do?   ARTHUR:  How do you do, good lady.  I am Arthur, King of the Britons.       Who's castle is that?   WOMAN:  King of the who?   ARTHUR:  The Britons.   WOMAN:  Who are the Britons?   ARTHUR:  Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.   WOMAN:  I didn't know we had a king.  I thought we were an autonomous       collective.   DENNIS:  You're fooling yourself.  We're living in a dictatorship.       A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--   WOMAN:  Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.   DENNIS:  That's what it's all about if only people would--   ARTHUR:  Please, please good people.  I am in haste.  Who lives       in that castle?   WOMAN:  No one live there.   ARTHUR:  Then who is your lord?   WOMAN:  We don't have a lord.   ARTHUR:  What?   DENNIS:  I told you.  We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune.  We take       it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.   ARTHUR:  Yes.   DENNIS:  But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified       at a special biweekly meeting.   ARTHUR:  Yes, I see.   DENNIS:  By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--   ARTHUR:  Be quiet!   DENNIS:  --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--   ARTHUR:  Be quiet!  I order you to be quiet!   WOMAN:  Order, eh -- who does he think he is?   ARTHUR:  I am your king!   WOMAN:  Well, I didn't vote for you.   ARTHUR:  You don't vote for kings.   WOMAN:  Well, 'ow did you become king then?   ARTHUR:  The Lady of the Lake,       [angels sing]       her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur       from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I,       Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.       [singing stops]       That is why I am your king!   DENNIS:  Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords       is no basis for a system of government.  Supreme executive power       derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical       aquatic ceremony.   ARTHUR:  Be quiet!   DENNIS:  Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power       just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!   ARTHUR:  Shut up!   DENNIS:  I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just       because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd       put me away!   ARTHUR:  Shut up!  Will you shut up!   DENNIS:  Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.   ARTHUR:  Shut up!   DENNIS:  Oh!  Come and see the violence inherent in the system!       HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!   ARTHUR:  Bloody peasant!   DENNIS:  Oh, what a give away.  Did you here that, did you here that,       eh?  That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me,       you saw it didn't you?

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Monty Python, "The Philosophers' Football Match: Greeks vs. Germans" at the Olympiastadion, Berlin, Germany, 1972

"Nietzsche receives a yellow card after claiming that Confucius has no free will. Confucius says "Name go in book". In the second half Karl Marx replaces Ludwig Wittgenstein, but does nothing to advance the game. With just over a minute of the match remaining Archimedes cries out "Eureka!", takes the first kick of the ball and rushes towards the German goal. Socrates scores the only goal of the match in a diving header off a cross from Archimedes. As the sketch closes, the Germans dispute the call; "Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside."

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