You don’t have to love your body

I really needed to read this today. Thank you.

Potato girl has her life goals in order.

This is a game changer. 

Wow wtf HIV/AIDS was discovered by Flossie Wong-Staal, an Chinese-American woman, and she’s the reason the HIV test even exists. AND THEN she invented the molecular knife that lead to treatments for HIV/AIDS. And she’s STILL ALIVE. We don’t hear about the contributions of Women of Color enough, my word. Madness.

https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flossie_Wong-Staal

you can always tell a major breakthrough is made by a woman, a woc or any poc because it’s either completely ignored or never credited like it just happened by itself

Gryffindor here. For many years I couldn’t figure out how to climb a tree and it always kind of high key bugged me when my friends would climb the tree in my yard but I couldn’t. So one day in determination I decided to do the thing and somehow managed to get decently high up an evergreen tree at the local park. But then came the problem. I didn’t know how to climb down. Imagine for a second the cartoons where you see your handy dandy neighbourhood fireman rescue a cat who is stuck in the tree. I was the cat. But alas I had no handy dandy fireman and instead just fell down through a bunch of layers of branches. Thankfully I wasn’t seriously injured but I did sustain a lot of scratches because evergreen trees aren’t really the ideal climbing tree. Therefore I can attest to the accuracy of this post. Although in my case it wasn’t a broken branch that was my downfall but rather my own hubris.

“It wasn’t a broken branch that was my downfall but rather my own hubris” is the new Gryffindor motto

This is so important.

This is worth a repost…

HOW TO DONATE TO BLM WHEN YOU HAVE NO MONEY

a black woman named zoe amira posted a video on youtube. this video is an hour long and filled with art and music from black creators. it has a ton of ads, and in result will rack up a ton of revenue. 100% of the ad revenue from the video will be dispersed between various blm organizations, including bail-out funds for protesters. it will be split between the following, dependent on necessity

please, please reblog. for people who don’t have money to spare, this is incredibly important information to have.

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

This is not an exaggeration.  Your download speed would slow down to the point where Windows would make this kind of absurd estimate, and you’d sigh and leave the room for a while (because you couldn’t use the computer while it was doing this for fear it would crash and lose all your progress) and then you’d come back in 40 minutes and maybe it would now say 52 years or maybe it would say 3 minutes, who knew, not Windows.

I can’t stop laughing, mostly because it’s so true

omg

This has been in my queue for months.

I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

“Wanted to surprise but got surprised”

(via)

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”

I work at Hardees and we have to yell “thank you” whenever we’re told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.

One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,

“THANK YOU”

i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone

I know I’ve reblogged this a billion times but I’ve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.

I work with horses and whenever someone’s driving too fast I’ll say stuff like “whoa” and I’ve tried to click to a car because that’s a cue for a horse to go faster.

My aunt was a kindergarten teacher and when she was trying to gather everyone at a family reunion for prayer she called “One two three, eyes on me” and then exclaimed “oh! It works on adults!”

These teacher ones show that we never really grew up.

🐝- - - — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/3ceRKFN

Google Earth is Amazing

Wait for it…

everytime. i laugh like an idiot everytime

@unnaturaldecay

this is a lot funnier when u know that this is the place where julius caesar got stabbed. its a cat sanctury

Yup! These are the ruins of the place Julius Caesar was stabbed and there are lots of cats, all up for adoption. They’re friendly, I’ve been there twice and gotten to put them. :)

i mean…. i guess imagine dragons is as good as everyone says…..

Dan Reynolds really woke up that day and thought “I’m gonna give the gays everything they want”

Bit of background to this, Dan Reynolds (lead singer for Imangine Dragons) holds the LoveLoud concert (the concert these pictures were taken at) in Utah where the LDS or Mormon church is predominantly the culture and religion of the state.

Reynolds was raised Mormon (I don’t know if he is still practicing) but has created this concert to give hope and understanding to the LGBT+ community there, especially the youth.

Utah has an extreme problem with youth suicide, especially Mormon LGBT+ kids who feel especially stressed due to the Mormon religious regulations and beliefs against being LGBT, but also the cultural biases and attitudes of the people that ostracize even non-Mormon LGBT+

Reynolds has advocated for attention to these issues from the Church and State Government, and also uses the LoveLoud concert to gain attention to these issues (and if I’m not mistaken, donates any proceeds to charity for LGBT youth in the state)

As far as I know, he is not LGBT, just a great fucking ally who saw a need in his state/culture and has done his best help.

So yeah, not only do Imagine Dragon songs fucking slap, but they all screamed “GAY RIGHTS!” at a heavily conservative and anti-LGBT state to help create a safe space for gay kids.

Coronavirus-panicked dad locks son out of house after spring break trip

“Sensible Dad Who Follows CDC/WHO Recommendations To Keep His Elderly Parents Safe In The Face Of Massive Pandemic Maintains Quarantine When Idiot Son Breaks Shatters It”

Fixed it for you.

So you know how you love me because you haven’t had a single meeting with anyone since I became your assistant? That’s because every time someone calls and requests a meeting with you, I always schedule it for March 31st.