*running up to you all in a DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE-esque manner*
I just want to not be the one who writes a plotless smutfic in which Jonathan rides one of his fear toxin subjects who's tied down, while he babbles on about the lizard-brain ability to become aroused during moments of intense fear. I crave a morbid multitasking scarecrow who grinds his ass on some guy who's actively having a seizure or heart attack, while he maintains intense eye contact till the dude either croaks or passes out.
I don't wanna write it but I'll probably end up doing it anyway 😡❤️