No one actually understands

No one actually understands. The struggles what you go through and the problems what you have deal with it every day. Yeah it's simple to put up on a fake smile. Yeah there is no problem to create a fake mask what you put on so people would just leave you alone. They don't see inside of you. They don't truly understand the pain. Or how lonely you feel when no one is around. It's easy to lie that everything is okay but actually you cry yourself every night to sleep. And that there is two kind of crying. First one is crying with tears and the second one is crying inside. The second one is first one because you feel all that pain and agony inside of you. It's like thousand pieces of glass scratching your soul out and making you feel broken inside. After those crying moments you sit there just feeling so empty... Feeling like worthless piece of shit and you have that plain stare in your eyes. Like you are trying to find those pretty dreams or beautiful lies. You have no power or will to carry on. Even when you have dreams or hopes to do something then suddenly something happens and it will destroy everything. No one actually understands when you fall in love. You feel like top of the world and you think you have found the other side of you. Person who can make you smile. Person who will make you do all those silly things with you. But one day when that person says everything is over and then you end up again being alone. Again those phases where you just sit there and cry. When you feel like you're heart is ripped out and you can't live anymore. They don't know what kinda load you are carrying on your shoulders. Or what kinda emotions are inside of you. It's easy enough to judge you cause of you're looks or cause of you're past. It's easy to say whatever is bothering you it's gonna go away and you are gonna feel better soon. But they don't see my issues. They don't see my scars or don't know my battles. They don't see my demons or not knowing what is going on inside of my head. Or how's the life in school or how's going at work. People say i wanna see the real side of you and once you open up... They will stab you with a knife behind you're back. I'm just so tired of running. I'm just so tired cause i can't sleep and im having nightmares. No one actually understands what's going on in my life so please don't judge me. I'm done with playing games. So if you don't wanna be here for me and see me in baddest days please leave.. No one actually understands how hard your life can be...

Source: neuroticdream