mouthporn.net
#thank you internet – @nemorps on Tumblr
Avatar

I Think Nate's the Schmidt

@nemorps / nemorps.tumblr.com

Nemo | 30+ | Graphic Artist | He/Him Avid Nate Schmidt and Pens fan, also play around a bit in fandom.
Avatar

and hilariously that is not why it is called that.

It is the circle of the bears cause of ursa major and ursa minor, and the circle without bears cause ya'know opposite part of the sky.

We lucked right into that one....

#so what you’re saying is#the stars dictate whether bears do or do not exist in places

Astrology is real but only for predicting where bears will be

Avatar

Venn diagrams don’t really work past 3 circles.

4-circle Venn diagrams are problematic because they don’t include the intersections of opposite circles without also including one of the other two circles (in this example there’s no AC or BD)

The problem only gets worse with more circles.

You could solve this problem by using different shapes, like ovals

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
titkoks

obsessed with the line “if i can continue to be a minor nuisance to the forces of nature trying to decompose me, i’m gonna consider that a win. the wheel of time will continue to turn, and i with it, like a nail in a tire”

@thebibliosphere Mom this video gives me very strong “you” vibes XD

Avatar
nemorps

@theshitpostcalligrapher This whole thing seems RIGHT up your alley, but especially “The Wheel of Time will continue to turn, and I with it, like a nail in a tire.”

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
wilkieway
Avatar
kk-maker

BETTER NAMES:

- the ‘WE HAVE A VERY AFFECTIONATE PET MOUNTAIN LION’ bed

- the ‘OUR NINJA BODYGUARD HAS TO SLEEP *SOMEWHERE*’ bed

- the ‘YOU’RE GROUNDED - DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SNEAKING OUT’ bed

- the ‘WE’RE POLY BUT SOMETIMES ONE OF US NEEDS ELBOW SPACE’ bed

Avatar
cancerously

imagine your ot3

the “Not everyone in the triad is into cuddling but doesn’t want to miss out on late-night conversations and morning tea” bed

@renniequeer yes I do want a special bed that’s just for cool girls

I think the best part of this is the lack of railing on the top bunk so #3 can just randomly, dramatically, plop down in between #1 and #2.

Avatar
aerialsquid

The Jigen/Lupin bed, with room for Goemon.

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
paxamericana

As per my last clay tablet,

Please find in my messenger’s sack tablets with the requested tax records.

Forgive me; I carelessly neglected to put the tablets in the previous messenger’s sack. The gods willing they shall be in the present messenger’s sack.

Man people have always been people, haven’t they?

I want to know what period in human evolution we went from “Hee Hoo Termite Mound” to “Complaining About Insufferable Coworkers” because I’m willing to bet it was REAL SHORT. My personal guess is that it was a period of less than 300 years after H. erectus started cooking meat, for no reason other than the observed phenomenon of “Everyone Has A Fucking Opinion About How To Manage The Campfire, Especially People Who Have Exactly No Business Managing Fire”.

Avatar
nemorps

Oh, no. I’m convinced the human tendency to go “Dude! I told you to do the thing, or that would happen; and then you DIDN’T do the thing, and what do you know! That happened!!” predates human evolution.

Avatar
reblogged

yeah that looks about right, thank you

I'm down with this.

I hope the picrew grows, because currently there's a criminal underrepresentation of eagles and bears. But for now, i guess this is me

Avatar
bunjywunjy

@draconym thank you it's perfect 😌

OH SHIT, THIS THING HAS OTHER COLORS

Avatar
nemorps

Also 1000% seconding the need for bears and eagles. I wouldn’t mind some owls too... Even if all you added was feathery wings, you could do griffins and pegasi 8D

Avatar

not to be the 1st person to die in a horror movie but I don’t 100% believe in ghosts and even if they were real I’m much more afraid of capitalism so I’m considering buying a haunted house in the future if that means it’s at a very reduced cost and it’s gonna take way more than doors suddenly closing to change my mind

marry a goth and move into the haunted house together

Bestie you did it you solved the riddle

Avatar
lierdumoa

If multiple homeowners keep “seeing ghosts” in a house that usually means 1) chronic mold problem or 2) carbon monoxide leak, both of which induce hallucinations after prolonged exposure.

So maybe feeling smugly intellectually superior to the previous owners isn’t a good reason to sink money into a property that’s probably riddled with undocumented code violations.

“RIP but I’m different” is generally not considered a sound investment strategy.

I may have carbon monoxide poisoning but at least I have a goth wife

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
glumshoe

I love that school buses are a standard unit of measurement for dinosaurs and dinosaurs only.

Y‘all in USA truely have the strangest units of measurment.

who needs the metric system when you have schoobuses, monster trucks, football fields, and the Empire State Building

Avatar
nemorps

Don’t forget Washing Machines

Avatar

This just in you can now pay up to $9.99 per month to hear the worst takes of your life 😍

Didi here to tell y’all shiftythrifting will never be behind any kind of paywall. We’re poor. You’re poor. We hang out at the THRIFT STORE.

Avatar
ms-demeanor

Tumblr already has a subscription model. It’s called “The OF pages of all the sex workers you pushed out in 2018.″

Avatar
reblogged

one time when I was really hecking tired i tried to phrase “i like steak and stuff on the rarer side when a restaurant or friend cooking for me permits that to happen” and it came out as “if left unattended I may eat raw beef” and i have no idea what PONG style antics my brain got up to to lead the train of thought down that disused rail line 

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net