Senseless Pix of Random Stuff

"The women's fencing lesson"-Gustav Wertheimer (1847-1902) was an Austrian painter

They were so cute.

Under-rated ST characters: Guinan from TNG

When you pick up a sword for the first time you will be slow and awkward. This is frustrating, but refuse the temptation to try and become a “faster” fencer. Chasing after speed is like trying to catch smoke. If you try and pursue speed, all you will accomplish is haste. Haste is the enemy of 1st class fencing.

Speed is a lie the untrained mind tells itself when it sees an action it cannot follow. The truth is a combination of timing, control, and fluidity. Fluid motion, even done slowly, will always arrive before a hasty strike. Control will allow you to move without wasteful motion that will slow you down. Timing will eliminate the need to move fast almost entirely. There is no need to get somewhere fast so long as you get there at the right time.  

Tip for mymutuals who engage in bladed armed combat

signal boost

People believe that Europe didn’t have martial arts like Asia did but that’s not true. We had martial arts but centred around weapons because unlike in Asia, anyone could carry a weapon. We never had to invent bare-handed martial arts for fighting armed opponents.

Also - there were guides for “how to fight an armored opponent if all you have is a stupid sword that won’t pierce them”.

And FYI the answer to this is “bash him with the pommel”.

Also - shields can be used to kill. Just sayin’.

Thank you to listen to this little trivia.

Asia - Two wizened sages staring at each other caressing their long beards before unleashing a flurry of deadly blows and one of them falls over elegantly, defeated

Europe - “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!” screams a man as he repeatedly smashes a knight with the pommel of his sword “DIE ALREADY!”

That’s why the Misericorde was invented!

When you’ve smashed your opponent so many times that his armour, and especially the helmet started resembling a crushed can, but you could still hear the poor sod wheezing and gurgling somewhere in there, then you would probably feel sorry for him. As a good Christian and what not. So you took this thin little bugger:

And pushed it into some crack in or opening in the armour to give your enemy a mercy kill.

Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer for Entertainment Weekly.

youtube Swordman standing up to gender roles

while you were living under gender roles, i studied the blade

Men are on average more muscular than women and can wield heavier weapons more easily, so it’s a practical advantage for the woman to prefer the rapier and the man to prefer the longsword. Gender roles? I’d rather win than try to “rebel for rebellion’s sake” and lose.

surprise both swords were used in totally different time periods for totally different purposes and this is a joke post no one cares

Not to mention long sword vs. rapier. The rapier has more speed and precision then the long sword. The long sword is crazy heavy for a hand held weapon and would quickly die.

Several Of The Above Points Are Shit-Wrong And I’m Going To Tell You Why: A Point By Point Dissection By Me

Point 1: “Both swords were used in totally different time periods for totally different purposes.”

Partially right.  A rapier is indeed suited to a different fighting style than a longsword.  The slender, blade with a highly developed tip makes the rapier an amazing thrusting weapon, designed to pierce through the holes in chainmail or the seams between plates.  They can be used to cut, but their primary focus is to thrust.  A longsword, however, has a much thicker and heavier blade as well as a longer hilt that gives it the ability to be wielded in one OR two hands (it’s often referred to as a ‘hand-and-a-half’ sword because of this) enabling it the leverage and strength to cut (or bash, but that’s far less ideal as it could damage the blade) far more easily.

Rapier:

Longsword: 

HOWEVER, there was at the very least a large period of overlap in the uses of longswords and rapiers.  The difference in their utility (besides cutting vs thrusting, the longsword was largely a military weapon and the rapier was largely a civilian weapon and for dueling) saw to it that they could coexist.  The longsword as we know it has been found to date back at least to the 14th century, if not earlier and was used in sporting duels and tournaments up until the 16th if not the 17th century (though its military use ended long before its sport use did).  The rapier was first created (or at least first recognized by scholars as being created) around 1500 in Spain.  Even if we take only the centuries during which they saw the most use (longsword = 14th-16th cent. and rapier = 16th-17th cent.) there was still a whole century of overlap.

Sources: 

Point 2: Rapiers are lighter than Longswords (and also the point that longswords are “crazy heavy for a hand-held weapon”).

This is wrong.  Rapiers are, on average, around 2-ish lbs (1kg).  Longswords are also, on average, around 2-ish lbs (1kg).  This is for your STANDARD LONGSWORD, a hand-and-a-half sword that can comfortably be wielded in either one or two hands.  Of course, both can reach higher or lower weights, but the top of the weight range for them tends to be around 4 lbs.  The heavy fuckers you’re probably referring to are true 2-handed swords, such as the montante or the zweihander.  Even then, they don’t get too much above 7 or 8 lbs.  You know what weighs around 7 or 8 lbs usually?  Most newborn babies.

(in order top to bottom: a 1-handed sword, a longsword, a montante)

For reference, other hand-held weapons?  Shotguns run between 5 and 8 or more lbs.  An M60 machine gun?  Around 23 lbs.  Handguns are between 2-4 lbs.

So yes, a longsword is heavy…when you’re comparing it to, like, a knife or to not wielding anything.

Sources: 

Point 3: Larger weapons are slower.

No

they

REALLY

aren’t.  

That’s a video-game-ism so that 1) you don’t feel like shit when you get wrecked by an opponent wielding a fuck-off huge sword and 2) they don’t have to program in proper form, technique, and handling of said sword.

Point 4: “Women can’t wield longswords.”

Really now?

(Have some more videos because tumblr won’t let me embed any more.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3o5sFI56V8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nzpvVuSwc0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bE4v6e6iss

Thank you. Longswords just aren’t that heavy. They really are not. A good one balances in the hand and feels almost effortless to hold. They are a real pleasure to handle and I think everyone should get the chance to do so at least once just to understand what I mean. Shitty wallhangers are fuckoff heavy, but that’s because they are made from crappy materials, are not properly shaped/tapered, are too thick, are poorly balanced so they feel even heavier than they are, and were never actually intended to be *used*.

Now, within the modern field of western martial arts women are often pushed towards rapier and subtly discouraged from longsword. The weight and strength issue is raised, and there is concern from their male opponents about women getting hurt–rapier thrusts tend to land softer because the blade flexes, while longsword cuts tend to leave more bruising and risk more damage, especially in organizations that have very different rules for rapier and longsword.

But as a woman who was pushed into rapier and smallsword for a decade before discovering that longsword was her true passion, I am glad to see people disputing this gender divide.

A whole slew of excellent points here 🏳️‍🌈😊⚔💋

@obaewankenope here have lovely, lovely sword meta

I love this post. 

Toby Stephens as Gustav Graves in Die Another Day (2002)