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Wibbly-Wobbly Ramblings

@nekobakaz / nekobakaz.tumblr.com

Hi!! I'm Corina! Check out my About Page! Autistic, disabled, artist, writer, geek. Asexual. nekomics.ca .banner by vastderp, icon by lilac-vode
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astriiformes

The Fellowship gets on the topic of their ages one night and Boromir comes to the dawning realization that he has absolutely no idea how old any of his companions are supposed to be at all

Boromir, pointing at the hobbits: I don’t know how your ages work

Boromir, pointing at Legolas and Gimli: I definitely don’t know how either of your ages work

Boromir, pointing at Aragorn: I thought I knew how your age worked but apparently I was wrong

Boromir, pointing at Gandalf: I especially don’t know how your age works

Gandalf: It doesn’t, but carry on

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elidyce

Listen I will die on this hill. I don’t care what it says in the assorted apocrypha, if you go by the Actual Text of LOTR you can make a very good argument that Boromir is the youngest member of the group. 

The hobbits are the only ones given official ages in the text, and are between fifty or fifty-one and twenty-nine. Elves and dwarves notoriously age slowly, and Gimli is the offspring of one of Bilbo’s pals, so okay, we’ve established that he’s old enough to call the hobbits young, and Bilbo confirms for them that Aragorn is Pretty Old For A Bigjobs. Gandalf is, of course, eternal.

But we are never given any context for Boromir and Faramir’s ages, except that a) they are humans and, though Sons of Gondor, not much longer lived than most Bigjobs, and b) Faramir is A QuiteYoung Man. I was absolutely convinced, when I read the books as a youngun, that Boromir, being in ‘the flower of manhood’ iirc, was probably between 25 and 30.

And it would be Freaking Hilarious, okay, for Boromir to finally get around to actually asking how old this baby-faced hobbit carrying The Ring is, and get told ‘oh, he’s only fifty, but he’s very steady for his age.’

Boromir: ?!?!?!

And then Pippin and Merry start asking everyone how old they are because this is fascinating are we all official adults here except for Pippin or what.

Boromir: …. Pippin isn’t an adult HOW OLD IS PIPPIN.

Pippin is just 29, which is why everyone calls him Pippin, it’s gonna be at least another 20 years before he can make Peregrine work. Why, how old is Boromir?

Boromir, who would rather DIE than admit to being 28 right at this moment: …. 43. 

All the others, weighing up his apparent age compared to theirs: Sure, sounds legit. 

Gandalf, who knows for certain, does not say anything because he is absolutely certain that telling Pippin that he’s older than Boromir will be an unmitigated disaster. 

LOTR Heritage Post

As everyone reading the post probably knows, Pippin was only 28 during RoTK and makes a particular point of being ALMOST 29, LIKE PRACTICALLY 29 RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY, DEFINITELY 29 THIS VERY YEAR, in a conversation with a child where he does not necessarily come off as the more mature. He was probably making such a clear and important point because hobbits are considered “full” adults (emotionally) at 33. That’s why Elrond’s heart misgave sending Pippin on the journey - he was contextually underage. That is, of course, nerd stuff and not especially interesting.

What is interesting is that Elijah Wood was an actual teenager when acting in the movies but Billy Boyd was 33, the same age as Cate Blanchett playing Galadriel. Born in 1968, Boyd is 9 years younger than Sean Bean (Boromir) and 8 years older than Dominic Monaghan (Merry).

It takes a very concentrated type of energy to be the eldest actor in the hobbit grouping by a healthy margin, and play the youngest character, and there is probably a lesson for all of us. It’s probably something like keeping a flexible mindset, drinking lots of water, staying in touch with friends of different ages, etc. It also goes to show how little reference point younger people really have for being 33.

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kipplekipple

Billy Boyd also did the voice work for Glen/Glenda in the Child’s Play movies and does a *beautiful* job.

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shinraalpha

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

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hacash

'but whyyy would tolkien shoehorn sam into a romantic relationship with rosie when it's so obvious that frodo's the most important person in his life?'

hear me out, what if...and this is a long shot...tolkien had lived through some deeply harrowing experiences that emphasised that people can love each other in different ways and they're all equally important? and that the strongest bonds you form aren't always explicitly romantic? what if everything in tolkien's work (eowyn's different loves for faramir and aragorn, boromir having no interest in romantic relationships and putting everything into his love for his city) fairly dripped with the idea that romance isn't the only important sort of love? what then?

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Frodo: Sam hates Gollum, but that is what I shall become once I have lost myself to the ring… he’ll despise me… 

Sam if Frodo did turn into a Gollum: That’s a very nice fish you caught with your bare hands, Mr. Frodo, and its very smart of you to eat it raw, saves us the trouble of starting a fire. I knitted you a sweater in case you get cold running around in that loincloth of yours. Is the sun hurting your eyes? I’ll kill it if it’s bothering you. I’ll kill the sun

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boromorous

sorry i just really needed to draw this

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gendercents

[Image description: the first image is a tweet by Oliver Darkshire (@/DeathByBadger) that says, "good morning. here is Potato, a one page RPG about being a halfling and trying to quietly enjoy your potatoes in a world that refuses to leave you alone."

The second image is the one-page RPG. It is titled "Potato" at the top, and on the right side it says in smaller text, "A one page RPG by Oliver Darkshire."

The introduction says, "you are a halfling, just trying to exist meanwhile, the dark lord rampages across the world you do not care about this. you are trying to farm potatoes because what could a halfling possibly do about it anyway".

Next is the "Rules" section: "You have three scores: Destiny (which starts at 0) Potatoes (which starts at 0) Orcs (which starts at 0)

Each score has ten empty boxes next to it in a line.

The next section is titled "Mash Them, Boil Them."

It reads: To start the game, you generate a new Event by rolling a six-sided die (d6). Adjust your scores as directed by the table (or subtable), then roll a new event. Keep rolling new events until one of the following occurs:

  • If your destiny score reaches 10, an interfering bard or wizard turns up at your doorstep with a quest, and you are whisked away against your will on an adventure (unless you've already been eaten by orcs).
  • If your potatoes score reaches 10, then you have enough potatoes that you can go underground and not return to the surface until the danger is past. You nestle down into your burrow and enjoy your well earned rest.
  • If your orcs score reaches 10, then orcs finally find your potato farm. Alas, orcs are not so interested in potatoes as they are in eating you, and you end up in a cookpot.

The next section is titled, "Hurling in the Back Garden."

The note at the beginning of it says, "At any point you can remove 1 potato to remove 1 orc.

Finally, there are three tables. The first table is named "Grass and Mud... (Roll a d6)"

It says:

1 or 2: In the Garden... 3 or 4: A Knock at the Door... 5 or 6: The world becomes a darker, more dangerous place. From now on, removing orc costs an additional potato (this is cumulative).

The second table is named "In the Garden..."

It says:

1 - You happily root about all day in your garden: +1 potato. 2 - You narrowly avoid a visitor by hiding in a potato sack: +1 potato, +1 destiny. 3 - A hooded stranger lingers outside your farm: +1 destiny, +1 orc. 4 - Your field is ravaged in the night by unseen enemies: +1 orc, -1 potato. 5 - You trade potatoes for other delicious foodstuffs: -1 potato. 6 - You burrow into a bumper crop of potatoes. Do you cry with joy? Possibly: +2 potato.

The last table is named "A Knock at the Door..."

It says:

1 - A distant cousin. They are after your potatoes. They may snitch on you: +1 orc. 2 - A dwarven stranger. You refuse them entry. Ghastly creatures: +1 destiny. 3 - A wizard strolls by. You pointedly draw the curtains: +1 orc, +1 destiny. 4 - There are rumours of war in the reaches. You eat some potatoes: -1 potato, +1 orc. 5 - It's an elf. They are not serious people: +1 destiny. 6 - It's a sack of potatoes from a generous neighbor. You really must remember to pay them a visit one of these years: +2 potatoes.

End description.]

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bauliya

i think all quiet on the western front and the lord of the rings are in direct conversation with each other, as in theyre the retelling of the same war with one saying here's what happened, we all died, and it did not matter at all and another going hush little boy, of course we won, of course your friends came back

someone should remake lord of the rings as a grandfather telling a fantasy story to his grand child with flashbacks to world war one showing the dead boys and men the characters were based on. grandpa why didn't they just fly. because they didn't. they didn't.

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I feel like Bilbo would teach the elves of Rivendell the concept of a mathom with the express purpose of oh so politely asking them over dinner how were the Silmarils not a mathom

Random Feanorian elf inherited by Elrond: That's not... No.

Bilbo: Oh so they were useful?

Elf: Well. No, not exactly

Bilbo: But the owners didn't want to throw them away.

Elf: Yeah

Bilbo: And they were in possession of several people over the course of years.

Elf: Yeah

Bilbo: That's a mathom.

Elf: No! We loved them because were very pretty!!! And one of a kind!!! Crafted by hands more skilled than any of ours!!!

Bilbo: Yes, like my great aunt's set of painted dishcloths

Elf, in tears: The Silmarils were not like your great aunt's set of painted dishcloths

Bilbo: How's The Great Mathom War as a title for a poem about the First Age?

By the way, it's important to me that Elrond supports Bilbo's claim and finds it quite insightful actually

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liridi

man lord of the rings just fills me with such profound sadness its a world that just…… makes me feel whole and hollow at the same time

14 yr old me saw this and knew I would spend the rest of my life trying to explain what the feeling this frame invokes in me is

the tacking-a-story-onto-the-end-of-my-elaborate-linguistics-exercise to emotionally-devastating-an-entire-generation pipeline

“[Eucatastrophe] is a sudden and miraculous grace […] It does not deny the existence of dyscatastrophe, of sorrow and failure: the possibility of these is necessary to the joy of deliverance; it denies… universal final defeat and in so far is evangelium, giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief.” — J.R.R. Tolkien, On Fairy Stories

“And when the glad shout had swelled up and died away again, to Sam’s final and complete satisfaction and pure joy, a minstrel of Gondor stood forth, and knelt, and begged leave to sing. And behold! he said:

‘Lo! lords and knights and men of valour unashamed, kings and princes, and fair people of Gondor, and Riders of Rohan, and ye sons of Elrond, and Dúnedain of the North, and Elf and Dwarf, and greathearts of the Shire, and all free folk of the West, now listen to my lay. For I will sing to you of Frodo of the Nine Fingers and the Ring of Doom’

And when Sam heard that he laughed aloud for sheer delight, and he stood up and cried: ‘O great glory and splendor! And all my wishes have come true!’ And then he wept.

And all the host laughed and wept, and in the midst of their merriment and tears the clear voice of the minstrel rose like silver and gold, and all men were hushed. And he sang to them, now in the elven-tongue, now in the speech of the West, until their hearts, wounded with sweet words, overflowed, and their joy was like swords, and they passed in thought out to regions where pain and delight flow together and tears are the very wine of blessedness.”

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