I’ve always been disabled and sick. The effects have been amplified in recent years by adulting, largely without direct support. It worked for a while. In a “many things are on fire but the big fires are sort of put out” way. My chronic pain, fatigue, and brain fog increased; my mental health declined. I crashed in late 2016. I have not recovered. I’m able to work much less, which means I earn less. I’ve been very financially unstable for over a year. I want to take care of my cat, who is my best friend, and pay my bills. I just don’t have much. I’m applying for benefits like SSDI, housing assistance, etc. I have relied on a few people for help so far.

It’s awkward to ask them a lot. So, I’m asking for short-term help. Expenses include cat care, groceries, class at the JCC  for Jewish conversion studies, and past due credit card bills. This is a breakdown of the expenses. Any help, or shares, are appreciated by me and the cat.

@nicocoer​ is a friend of mine, and I could go on a lot about that. I could also go on about their contributions to autistic/disability rights, and the sex education field, but here’s to the point: 

Savannah is a disabled, queer, polyamorous femme who in the last two ish years had to move back in with their parents. Savannah has since embraced the poly side of their sexuality. Unfortunately, there’s also been an increase of conflicting mental health needs in the household.

Savannah and one of their boyfriends, Greg, have decided to move in together! Everyone involved in the situation is both happy and relieved. Greg lives in Columbus, OH. For Savannah to move in with Greg, they need funds for: 

$300 can manage to make most of it happen, but their goal is $800 - and they deserve to reach more of it than $300.

@polycolumbus​, I noticed your blog while looking for ways to help Savannah, and as they’re a prospective member of the poly community in Columbus, would you consider sharing? Thank you! 

Happy Pride Month!

My facial expression indicates that it was hot outside.

[image is two pictures in collage. One is of Kit with a Noncompliance is a Social Skill shirt and a B'tzelem Elohim genderqueer Magen David patch. The other is a sign drawn in oil pastels reading Autistic Disabled LGBTQ+ PRIDE. The letters spelling Pride are in a rainbow of colors. There is a colorful neurodiversity symbol to the left of it.] 

Also, today is June 18 - Happy Autistic Pride Day! 

This is what I had to say in 2016, and it still stands: …Many of us are in pain and many of us have doubts… many of us are not sure how to move in this world. None of that has to preclude pride. To my autistic brethren who are there and talking about pride: remember that the torch we carry has the power to light the way, or set fire to what we’ve built already. And to my autistic brethren who don’t yet know how to be proud: I will wait for you, always.

In the mid-90s there was this thing that happened in our sort of.. .elementary school parent social culture which I like to call- The Peanut Panic.  

Now, I want to start by saying I think the peanut panic is actually, ultimately, a good thing.  Because suddenly you had this previously unheard of awareness and caution about deadly food allergies springing up in elementary and middle schools.  

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Suddenly it became seriously not ok to bring in class goodies with nuts of any kind ESPECIALLY peanuts, and those who chose to ignore those warnings were appropriately educated.  One of the kids I went to school with (whose mom was actually my mom’s best friend) went to the ER one day because some kid’s mom decided it wasn’t important enough to keep nuts out of the brownies she sent for the class.  And they were chopped small enough that he didn’t notice and had to be treated for anaphylaxis. (He was ok in the end, but it was pretty terrifying for all involved).

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But the downside of the peanut panic is that even now, there’s this assumption that food allergies always equal death.  So if you have a mild or even moderate food allergy and you try to avoid it- you can often end up in an endless loop of not being allergic enough to be considered allergic.

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Celiacs deal with this A TON.  Aside from the obvious battle to just be taken seriously at all (which is bullshit), there is a lot of- “but it’s not like gluten will KILL YOU so it’s not an allergy.”  

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Except it is.  I have a similar problem with nightshades, so does my sister.  We’re both allergic, in varying degrees, to nightshades. I got lucky and mine is what you might call relapsing/remitting.  (which is a pain in the ass).  Hers though, is not.  For me, when my allergy is active and I eat nightshades (which in case you don’t know is all the delicious veggies like potatoes and tomatoes and peppers and chilis … oh, and eggplant), I end up spending anywhere from  hours to DAYS in the bathroom.  In extreme cases I will not only have… digestive issues? But I’ll also end up throwing up everything I’ve eaten in the last month.  It can get BAD.

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Odds are though, it won’t ever actually kill me. 

But that doesn’t mean I’m not allergic.  My sister experiences her allergy expression in pain.  Body aches and pains all over, constantly, for days.  She didn’t even figure out what was causing it until I mentioned my allergy and she did an elimination diet to test it.

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We are both allergic.  We’re not going to die if we eat a tomato, or have french fries.  But you better believe we make sure it’s worth the pain first.

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The point is- we really need non-allergic people to stop equating all food allergies with death.  Because it’s just not that simple.  And having a non-lethal food allergy is no less valid than having a lethal one.  So when your friend or loved one says, I can’t eat this I’m allergic- don’t flip out and invalidate it just because you know it won’t flat out kill them.  BELIEVE people with food allergies- no matter how severe or uncommon.  And RESPECT those allergies.  Don’t try to be sneaky and slip in things they’ve said they’re allergic to.  Just because it won’t kill them doesn’t make it ok to fuck with someone’s system and you have no idea what kind of misery you’re handing out just because you want to roll your eyes and stay ignorant.

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And if someone gives YOU shit about your non-lethal food allergy remind them- people don’t generally die because of their seasonal allergies, or allergies to dust- but that doesn’t make them any less allergic.

Also remember: shit can get worse over time.

So those times people screw with you add up.

And things can start having increasingly dangerous consequences.

Never fuck with people’s allergies, and never feel bad telling people off if they try anything.

The Judgment about "What Counts" as Sexual Assault

[This post goes into detail of an instance of non-rape sexual assault, in the first paragraph if you click through to read on WordPress.]

 "It seems that people, particularly autistic people like myself, rarely get taught about boundaries or consent: indeed, disabled people are often not even taught sex-ed or how to recognize abuse… There is also a general perception around sexual assaults that say they’re not “bad enough” or don’t “count…“

 When people decide they can say what counts as “enough…” That’s not helping anyone be taken seriously when they report/tell people about sex crimes and assaults. Numerous groups of people already have trouble reporting or being believed about assaults. For instance, many disabled people receive direct support from service providers or family members. When these people assault them, it is harder to leave or report assaults. And it helps perpetrators get away assault and makes it more socially acceptable because it’s not “bad enough.”

View On WordPress

People told me that when I got into counseling/social services work, I would see just how many people “abused the system.” I would encounter countless people feigning disability in order to receive a check (that usually amounts to less than $700 a month, sometimes far less).

And yes, I have seen a little bit of that.

But something I’ve seen far more of is lack of accessibility. I’ve spoken with so many people who say things like, “I want to go back to work, but my disability prevents me from doing so because many places won’t consider me for hire.” Or: “I want to work, but I risk losing my disability benefits, which I need in order to pay for critical treatment of my medical condition.” Or: “I tried working again, but it didn’t work out because my employer wouldn’t make reasonable accommodations.”

(These are all paraphrased from a plethora of situations/people and by no means direct quotes.)

I know we need changes in our system. I think people should be able to receive benefits no matter what if needed (so they may pay for necessary items and have a safety net) while working part-time if able (for a multitude of reasons, including that a job can make one feel fulfilled).

This should not be all-or-nothing. We can do better.

Also kinda funny how people are up in arms about the disabled manipulating their hours so they can work and get disability, or feigning to supplement their income so they can fucking SURVIVE…. but it’s not an issue when we’re talking about tax loopholes that allow multi-billion dollar companies to pay ZERO in federal taxes (or the government ends up owing THEM)

If you haven’t already heard, Donald Trump has slashed funding for advertising the Affordable Care Act enrollment period by 90%. He has also cut the funding for local organizations that help consumers navigate the buying process by 41%. The time period to enroll has also been cut in half, giving people only 6 weeks to sign up between: November 1, 2017 - December 15, 2017.

These cuts mean that less people will be aware of the enrollment period and less people will be insured. Less people uninsured will also mean a drive up in premiums, making insurance unaffordable for many more. This is an intentional move to make good on his promise to let the Affordable Care Act “implode,” but it will hurt many people in the process. Many people will unknowingly miss the enrollment period and we cannot let this happen. 

Since the president is unwilling to inform the citizens we must take action into our own hands. Spread awareness about open enrollment. I made the image above so you can save it and share it to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and whatever other forms of social media you might use. Tell your family and friends. Do whatever you can to make sure that people who need this information get this information. 

Signal boost.

Let’s do the advertising that our Authoritarian-in-Chief refuses to do.

Let’s get so many new people enrolled into the ACA that it will have the numbers it needs to actually work.

The Repugnicans are trying to dismantle the very structure of our society. But if we all pitch in, we can at least slow them down, a little.

And if more people are signed up for ACA (Obama-Care) for 2018, you can bet your bippy that representatives will be even less willing to repeal it.

This is also a reminder to vote in local elections before 2016 (Virginia, for one, is electing a new governor and new state legislature this  November).

Autistic community issues: Gatekeeping edition

Hi. This is re: the special interest terminology kerfluffle. I am an autistic person with ADHD. I have a request. Could you stop telling me that I have to use two different words to describe the same experience I have that I have no idea which “diagnosis” it comes from? (By the way, brains are not partitioned like that, so my neurology is affected by both, sometimes in very interchangeable ways that you don’t know which one is which!)

Related - the autistic community, as @alliecat-person​ points out here - has a pretty long history, some of which I have put together at @ourautistichistory​, and some of which is probably lost as domain names expired or the list servs went defunct. But the moderator of @actuallyadhd​, who has ADHD, has been involved with list servs and later platforms of the autistic community since 1994. She is an autistic cousin, which is a decades-old term that refers to someone “who is not NT, is not quite autistic, but is recognizably “autistic-like” particularly in terms of communication and social characteristics.”

To ignore that fact, along with @alliecat-person​‘s note that these kinds of words have not been considered exclusive to the autistic community from the start - which is roughly three decades ago - is negligent. A community should know its history, and we need to know our history to work for change. 

And it tells people that we are not a community that welcomes people unless they share our specific neurotype. It tells many people who are wondering if they are autistic that we are a community who will not welcome them. That may make them afraid to approach us, or learn more about autistic community and autistic culture. It tells people we are a community who is willing to gatekeep, and that is not what I want people to think of the community I love and fight for.

This is the second time this summer that this specific Holocaust memorial has been vandalized.

(Photo credit to Natalia Pfeifer)

NBGQ 2017 - the UK TL;DR

Who? Everyone whose gender doesn’t tidily fit into the female/male binary.

What? An online survey asking participants how they describe themselves and how they would like other people to refer to them.

When? February to May 2017.

Participants: 1,357

The full report: click here

Raw data and summary tables: Excel spreadsheet download (58.8 MB)

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Q1: Identity words

Top 5:

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Q2: Titles

Top 5:

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Q3: Pronouns

Top 5:

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Say thanks / Mailing list for next year’s survey / Join a nice inclusive social network

I done the UK results report! :)

the chant was not "we will not be replaced," it was "jews will not replace us"

i see all of you writing the former over the latter in your posts and comments and so does every other jewish person on this website.

please reblog this, especially if you’re not jewish.

Australia is in a bind. It’s the last developed English-speaking nation not to have legalized marriage equality – even though a majority of voters support it – but issues within the government have kept officials from being able to legalize it.

Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has announced what he believes is a solution: to hold a “non-legally binding voluntary public postal vote” over the next few months to determine public opinion on marriage equality, followed by a potential formal vote in Parliament. 

Here’s how it would work:

There are so many opinions about this all over the internet that my head is spinning. Pals in Australia, what do you make of this?

GRAPHING INEQUALITY IN AMERICA

We know that the USA is becoming more inequitable in socioeconomic terms, but the graph above by a team of inequality researchers — Thomas Piketty, Emmanuel Saez and Gabriel Zucman — sums up the trends succinctly. 

The graph shows the change in annual income between 1980 and 2014 for every point on the income distribution, ranging from the lowest to the highest. In 1980, the lower incomes grew the most in percentage terms, while in 2014 only the rich receive significant raises.

The red line on the chart, which represents 2014, resembles a classic hockey-stick graph. It’s mostly flat and close to zero, before spiking upward at the end. That spike shows that income growth is soaring for the super-rich, while stagnating for others.

A reasonable observer would conclude that inequality is out of control, but the President and leaders in Congress promote policies on health care, education, and tax reform that would serve to increase the disparities even more.

Read more:  The New York Times (7 August 2017)

““No Excuses” sheds light on the pattern of unsafe conditions and lack of treatment in WA’s institutions”

People shocked by reports out of Carrie Fisher’s autopsy are shocked for the wrong reason. Carrie had always been open about her lifelong (meaning, continuous, not over) struggles with addiction and mental illness and where the two sometimes meet. She was never coy or secretive about this. Did these drugs play a minor role in her death? Sure. People who do not do drugs tend to live longer than those who do. That’s a given. However Carrie did not O.D. The drugs in her system, could have been days old, she could’ve been sober on that flight. You don’t know but we do know her cause of death was not attributed to drugs. What should be catching more attention is that Sleep Apnea played the biggest role in her death. A condition many people downplay, resigning it to “lol snoring.” Sleep disorders are serious. Carrie Fisher’s made her stop breathing and she died. Carrie Fisher’s gradually broke down her heart.  If you frequently have excessive daytime sleepiness despite a full night of sleep, snore, or commonly wake up gasping in the middle of the night or feeling out of breath: see a physician and get a referral for a Sleep Study. It just might save your life – or at least prolong it. Take care of yourselves.

hey American followers – if you like public libraries I’ve got some bad news for you

the Trump administration’s proposed budget plan for FY18 includes cutting all funding for the Institute of Museum and Library Services (IMLS) which is….. bad. I’m my library system, IMLS pays 11% of our total annual budget, which doesn’t sound like much, but in a lot of rural areas or states without as much state-level support for libraries, IMLS is responsible for the bulk of their operating costs and loss of this funding could mean the complete closure of central branches and loss of library resources for entire communities

I talk about this a lot on here, but libraries aren’t just free books – they’re a crucial service for under-served communities, they provide job search assistance to job seekers, crucial early learning and literary skills to kids, they provide information and access to people with no other way of getting them, they provide free internet and computer access, a free and safe place to be for homeless people, for teenagers after school, for families who can’t afford expensive daycare, and many of them provide free lunches for kids in the summer who aren’t getting lunch because they aren’t in school, and countless other things

there are so many communities out there who cannot afford to lose this funding and to lose the support that their libraries provide

go read about this. go call your senator. America’s pretty fucked up right now, but if we’ve done one thing right, it’s libraries, and we can’t afford to lose them