a graph based on my observations

I would like to apply a Dolly Parton quote to this most excellent graph.

As a woman in her 30s reaching the “don’t care” stage, can both confirm and approve of this. 

carrd? nah. if you want to learn about me you have to connect scraps of information from my occasional sentence-long tumblr tags and gay little rants I’ve been putting there since 2016. that is the truest wellspring of self.

ideal way that my followers figure out what the fuck is up with me:

people reminisce about “Pokemon Go summer” with everyone outside together and when the Venom movie came out and everything was cheeky and horny for awhile, and other such cultural phenomena’s

but you know what I think we should take into our hearts again? Neko Atsume

we were all collecting cats like it was our job and giving tips on how to get different sightings. There was no higher purpose, no higher power, only community built upon the tiny furry backs of fake cats.

May we all one day return to the Neko Atsume game in the sky

everyone mentions the tumblr calendar of Out of Touch Thursday and Tuesday again? No problem, but we can go bigger. A larger scale. Is it not now Over the Garden Wall Fall?

Only time shall tell what shall be chosen for winter and spring.

Wait!! How could I forget the beloved Ides.

it's kind of nuts how many people on here say they are critical of America, but retain these impossibly strong American puritanical values.

I've talked to so many liberals who were horrified by the idea of communal baths and freak out when I talk about going to Korean bath houses or a nudist hot springs where gasp, children can see naked bodies of all genders. Like, you are the weirdos if you think grandma's tits are an issue, that's you problem my American friends.

Nudity is not inherently sexual and sexual things are not inherently bad. In fact, seeing a bunch of naked old people growing up probably helped me resist the ubiquitous problem of body issues as a teenage girl. If you see enough saggy ass you realize we're all headed to the same place and also secondarily, if you watch them playing naked volley ball you also no longer afraid to die.

Do you think Utena Tenjou effectively utilized revolutionary Girl Power when she had like 50 messy bisexual sword fights on the top of the school instead of going to class

girl I know you’re not passing algebra

me, logging into tumblr and seeing some stupid shit in the replies section, gritting my teeth:

who knows upon what Takes they fed their addle-brained disputes?

I find it kind of funny that human babies are so fragile and helpless and useless that natural selection went like HARD-hard on humans finding babies cute. This thing is a wailing messy resource sinkhole so please find other reason to enjoy it. And the humans that did find baby cute and invest time in them, the crazy bastards?? Lived!!

And now there’s so much spill-over from “baby cute” gene that humans see literally any “baby” creature that even slightly resembles us, like

and we’re like 😍🥰🤩🥺🥺🥺 I wanna love you so bad. I wanna make so many images of you, you are so small, just baby. I’m inventing new emotions as we speak bc I love you so much.

Like, I’m almost convinced humans didn’t even domesticate dogs bc we thought they’d be useful, we saw some puppies and it activated our Big Boi Primate Baby buttons, it wasn’t even logic time baby, it was 🥺 time.

The funniest thing about that is the fact that neuroimaging of elephant brains have proved that they think that we – humans – are cute in exactly the same way. They most likely want to squish and cuddle us the way we want to do with puppies based on the firing of their neurons.

This is so important to me.

Actually hatebros, “survival of the fittest” means you have to make as many friends as possible in one lifetime. Naruto understands Darwinism better than you.

(These images are sourced from ethical places to interact with elephants)

reblogging for “Naruto understands Darwinism better than you”

carrd? nah. if you want to learn about me you have to connect scraps of information from my occasional sentence-long tumblr tags and gay little rants I’ve been putting there since 2016. that is the truest wellspring of self.

ideal way that my followers figure out what the fuck is up with me:

I am ECSTATIC that the soothsayers of our generation are just straight-up using their powers of manifesting or prophecy or whatever like this

prophetic dreaming, but make it memes

Femme Fatale Checklist

Sexy 

Confident

Worldly

Shoots when you least expect it

Strategic clothes ripping

Uses a whip as a weapon

IN CONCLUSION

Indiana Jones is a femme fatale.

Stand aside himbos, himme fatale just dropped

sick of pathologizing our favorite characters. “This one has anxiety, this one has ADHD”

we need to expand our diagnosis. Mario has acid reflux. that guy from Supernatural has herpes. Wonder Woman has a UTI. we have the power here

hey not to supernatural gif in 2021 but uh

goddammit 

sometimes I get so angry thinking about ‘The Imitation Game’ that I have to go in a little ‘upset big tantrum room’ in my head for a calm down

like, Benisnatch Cumberque played the same character he’s always plays as an asshole genius and we were all supposed to be okay with it, but it’s basically character slander

at different parts of the movie Turing is described as ‘arrogant, “inhuman,” “narcissistic,” and even “a monster,” in the film he goes against those around him and is shown to periodically ignore and belittle his colleagues

And. I. Am. So. Angry.

Alan Turing was described by his friends and people that knew him as “intensely shy and kindly”, he was said to “inspire loyalty and affection among those who appreciated his unusual gifts” and was “unfailingly generous with his time and expertise, especially toward younger recruits”

He was kind, he was kind, HE WAS KIND, he was kind

he was kind and geeky and awkward and gay, I don’t care if the whole of society doesn’t find that compelling, I don’t care if we don’t value kindness as an attribute in men, he deserved to be loved and respected as he was, not as we wish he was

I am so sorry Alan Turing, I am so sorry your story was not told with care and thoughtfulness, I am so sorry you didn’t get to be shown to be deeply in love with the men you loved, I am sorry your great and terrible tragedy was never unfolded as a kind and brilliant man abused by a horrible homophobic system

You are a hero that turned the tides of history like no other and I am so sorry

hey op if you’re looking for a kinder movie about alan turing, you should check out breaking the code (1996). breaking the code was originally a stage play, and this is a filmed adaptation. it’s more faithful to his personality, stars derek jacobi (who was also a gay man and plays the part with so much sympathy), and it doesn’t bungle historical details for the sake of adding more drama. here’s a link to a youtube playlist where you can watch it in full

He felt bad for the children who were stuck at bletchley park without their toys so he used spare paper from his office to make them a monopoly board by hand

He was also reported as having a goofy sense of humor where he used to make a show of saying goodbye to everyone at the party and then walk into the closet instead of out the front door

Plus, he was quoted as saying quips like “Beyond the way they speak, there is only one (no two!) features of American life which I find really tiresome. The impossibility of getting a bath in the ordinary sense and their ideas on room temperature.” — Alan Turing (1936)

He was a huge athlete and biked everywhere and sometimes ran the five miles to work every morning, and did things like calculate when his bike chain would break so he could keep riding the thing despite it being ancient

He was still “odd” according to his coworkers as he sometimes wore a gasmask to work to avoid spring allergies and used to chain his coffee mug up to avoid theft at the office, but the same colleagues described him as very friendly, open, and thoughtful as well if not shy.

and finally, of course, there was Porgy

He used to practice his Cambridge lectures in front of this stuffed bear he got in college named Porgy and was delighted when his mom sewed it a little outfit. He kept the bear with him throughout life.

i keep seeing this version without any mention of turing being autistic, and how this portrayal of him as a cold cruel genius is a classic autiphobic trope we’re subjected to constantly.

he was kind, he was gay, he was brilliant, he was autistic.

Alan Turing deserved better.

a graph based on my observations

I would like to apply a Dolly Parton quote to this most excellent graph.

YES.

magic in fantasy novels

people will fight left and right about the best kind of magical systems: soft magic versus hard magic systems

my answer every time is this: the only valid magical world ‘verse is whatever the hell is happening with Wizards. On. The. Side. Of. Vans.

avatar WHO? Harry Potter WHAT?

Hell. Yes.

I find it kind of funny that human babies are so fragile and helpless and useless that natural selection went like HARD-hard on humans finding babies cute. This thing is a wailing messy resource sinkhole so please find other reason to enjoy it. And the humans that did find baby cute and invest time in them, the crazy bastards?? Lived!!

And now there’s so much spill-over from “baby cute” gene that humans see literally any “baby” creature that even slightly resembles us, like

and we’re like 😍🥰🤩🥺🥺🥺 I wanna love you so bad. I wanna make so many images of you, you are so small, just baby. I’m inventing new emotions as we speak bc I love you so much.

Like, I’m almost convinced humans didn’t even domesticate dogs bc we thought they’d be useful, we saw some puppies and it activated our Big Boi Primate Baby buttons, it wasn’t even logic time baby, it was 🥺 time.

The funniest thing about that is the fact that neuroimaging of elephant brains have proved that they think that we – humans – are cute in exactly the same way. They most likely want to squish and cuddle us the way we want to do with puppies based on the firing of their neurons.

This is so important to me.

SO important.

Actually hatebros, “survival of the fittest” means you have to make as many friends as possible in one lifetime. Naruto understands Darwinism better than you.

(These images are sourced from ethical places to interact with elephants)

finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester

like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you

wack.

humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?

evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise* 

Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:

•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.

•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.

•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.

•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.

truer words