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#brb weeping at beauty – @nekobakaz on Tumblr
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Wibbly-Wobbly Ramblings

@nekobakaz / nekobakaz.tumblr.com

Hi!! I'm Corina! Check out my About Page! Autistic, disabled, artist, writer, geek. Asexual. nekomics.ca .banner by vastderp, icon by lilac-vode
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quest-draws

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Image description: A four page black and white comic of my tortoiseshell cat, Bunny, complaining that I won’t let her in from the screen porch.

Page 1 

Panel 1: A small tortoiseshell cat sits on the other side of a glass door, looking up sadly, saying, “Mama! Mama, help! I’m in the screen porch!” 

Panel 2: She scratches at the door. “Mama! Mama I’m trapped! I’m trapped in the screen porch! Mama!” she cries. 

Panel 3: She looks through the glass with her sad, innocent expression. “I see you, Mama! Can’t you hear me? Why won’t you let me in? What have I done, Mama!”

Panel 4: The left corner is dominated by a close up of her face, as she reminisces about the cat tree in the screen porch. We see her perched on the very top, looking out over the backyard.

She says, “Was I not grateful enough, Mama? You gave me a throne, here in the screen porch! A place where I could look down upon the world as a god!”

Page 2

Panel 1: While she’s perched atop her cat tree, it begins to rain outside. Bunny looks askance at it from behind the screen. 

“But I couldn’t touch it, Mama!” she narrates, now in boxes instead of word balloons, “I could see the rain lavish the earth, but never feel its cool caress!”

Panel 2: A paw rests on the screen. On the other side, two birds chirp, unbothered by the presence of Bunny.

 “I could smell the blood of the song birds, but never taste its warmth! I lived as Tantalus in this screen porch, Mama!”

Panel 3: Sitting on a cushioned chair, bunny looks out over the yard, barred from her by the porch screen. 

“Tormented by what I could never reach!” 

Page 3

Panel 1 : Another reminiscence, this time of Bunny running through the open door to the screen porch earlier that day while I was taking out the garbage. 

“And yet I returned, again and again and again! Was that my sin, Mama? Is this my punishment? To be condemned forever to a hell of my own choosing?” 

Panel 2: Returning to the present, Bunny looks up from the otherside of the door, her eyes wide.

“Is this what you call justice, Mama?” She says. “Is this what you call love?” 

Panel 3: From Bunny’s perspective we see me; I am ignoring her, going about my business. She calls out to me, “Answer me, Mama! Mama!”

Panel 4:I glance back at her, unmoved by her cries. “Mama!” she yells. 

Page 4

Panel 1: Pulling out we finally see more of the wall which has the door to the screen porch. Directly beside it is a cat door that goes through the wall, out into the screen porch. Another cat, Bunny’s sister Maggie, is coming through the cat flap with no issue.

 I say, “ Bunny, I know you know how to use the cat door.”

Clawing at the window, tears in her eyes, Bunny screams “MAMA!!”

End ID.

I feel like “is this what you call justice, Mama? is this what you call love?” is going to enter my “cats being dramatic” lexicon the same way “you KICK miette?” and “father is…evil?” have.

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quest-draws

ID: a sketchy two page comic of my tortoiseshell kittens, Maggie and Bunny.

From off panel, I hold my hands out to Maggie, who leans away

Me: Aw, Maggie doesn't wanna come up?

Maggie: Mother I am not a child.

Me: You're ten months old.

Maggie: I am a warrior.

Bunny pops up from behind her sister.

Bunny: I'm not! I'm baby <3

I scoop Bunny up while Maggie watches in shock and confusion.

Me: Aw, yes you are, Bunny. Who's my sweet baby?

Maggie flops on her back and shows her tummy. She has big blobby tears in her eyes.

Maggie: Mommy??? Betrayal?? You abandon your baby?? Your Darling Girl?? Your little Maggie-Pie?!?

End ID.

Maggie is a strong, independant kitten, so long as you never pay attention to anyone else, ever.

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kalak

Vader with Luke:

Vader without Luke:

I mean.... he's clearly going very easy on his one and only son who must not be killed the enemy jedi, meanwhile Luke's fighting for his life

Vader to himself while fighting Luke: oh what wonderful bonding this could be, a friendly spar before I tell him the truth that I'm his father. Perhaps if he sees how excellent of a fighter I am, he will surly want to learn and come to the dark side. I hope he likes the chocolate chip cookies I baked earlier, younglings like that stuff, right? He does need a haircut though, he's quite shabby. He looks quite polite too.

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penny-anna

U know what's a good vibe. Batman struggling w teaming up with other superheroes, not bcos he's used to working alone, but bcos he's so used to teaming up w children

His sense of humour has been completely shot for years, all he knows are dad jokes. He has to restrain himself from saying 'hi tired I'm Batman'. He has lollipops & dinosaur band aids in his utility belt. One time he got in an argument w Green Lantern and blurted out 'i think you need to take a nap'

@sodareaper batman doing the superhero command equivalent of the daycare worker who started saying things like "say goodbye bus!" to their friends

yeah this is the actual reason he's so quiet & gruff all the time, it happened 1 time with superman & wonder woman and they never let him live it down so now he has to keep that shit under wraps

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reblogged

I will say though, that a terrifying mob enforcer who’s jovially yet menacingly backing you into a wall, leaning over you, grabbing your arm, making threatening gestures and looking you dead in the eye as they animatedly talk about how angry you made the boss, would score like, all the points, on the nonverbal intimacy scale

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xkcds

The <x> that is held by <y> is also a <y><x>, so if you go to a food truck, the stuff you buy is truck food. A phone that’s in your car is a carphone, and a car equipped with a phone is a phonecar. When you play a mobile racing game, you’re in your phonecar using your carphone to drive a different phonecar. I’m still not sure about bananaphones.

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I’m screaming why does Mamma Mia fit every fight scene so perfectly ajkaslajjddhhajadkjfh

I laughed so hard I tipped backward and cracked my plastic desk chair

I’M DYING WHAT IS THIS

@tracylorde I think you’d like this

@thehundredtimesobsessed you’re wrong, I LOVE it

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gffa

–From a Certain Point of View, ”An Incident Report" by Mallory Ortberg “It must, however, be pointed out that at present the number of planets destroyed solely by the unaided power of the Force is zero.” MOTTI JUST DRAGGED THE FUCK OUT OF VADER I AM FUCKING LIVING

“I imagine Lord Vader would have had to stand very close to the planet Alderaan indeed today if he wanted to demonstrate how thoroughly his Force-wielding abilities outmatch the Death Star.” THIS ASSHOLE IS GOING TO DIE, BUT IT WILL BE IN SERVICE OF THE MOST GLORIOUS DRAGGING OF VADER I HAVE EVER SEEN.

“I merely spoke the truth: Lord Vader’s devotion to a nearly extinct faith has not resulted in the recovery of the stolen data tapes, nor has it given him insight into the rebels’ secret base, nor has he ever destroyed a planet.” “He found my lack of faith disturbing?  I have never claimed to be an adherent to his sect.  I found his lack of faith in this military installation disturbing.” MOTTI IS GOING TO FUCKING DIE IN A SPACE DITCH WHERE VADER DUMPS HIS BODY BUT HOLY SHIT HE WENT OUT LIKE A GODDAMNED LEGEND

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kyraneko

I need fic of Vader reading this.

mallory ortberg: god among men

God bless Daniel Ortberg

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buffyboleyn

you know what’s the WORST thing about Catholicism existing in the Disney Cars universe? that means there’s probably a Cars version of Anglicanism, because Car Henry VIII of England wanted to annul his marriage to CARtherine of Aragon, who couldn’t give him a male Car heir (note: I have no idea how cars reproduce in the Cars-verse, nor what …parts… they need to be socially assigned Male Car at Car-birth…). but when the Car Pope wouldn’t let him, Car Henry VIII separates England from the Church of Vrrooome and married his lover, Car Anne Boleyn. and after Car Anne Boleyn couldn’t give him a Car Boy either, Car Henry VIII has her beheaded, and in the Cars-verse, I think that looks like a giant French buzzsaw swooping down to chop Car Anne Boleyn in half like a hamburger bun at her windshield and side and rear windows, and then Car Hemnry VIII gets Car fat 

whyd i havta see this fuckin post

okay but like

car martin luther nailing his 95 theses to the garage door of wittenberg church

car puritans. just. the concept of car puritans.

how can we have cotton mather’s “sinners in the hand of an angry god” if cars don’t have hands?

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andhishorse

sinners in the glove compartment of an angry god

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nekobakaz

Gives new meaning to "Jesus is my co-pilot"

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edgebug

infinity war seems a lot more unnecessary when you remember that the mcu canonically has two (2) elders of the universe who could literally wipe the floor with thanos. like huge battle, Everything is bad, suddenly the grandmaster and the collector roll up in their party bus techno music blaring and thanos is melted into a puddle instantly

“Fuckin sweet” the collector says as he picks up the infinity gauntlet with his bare fucking hands “this is gonna look great above my big screen tv”

“who gives, uh, a shit about some shiny rocks? my trophy twink is here” calls out the grandmaster. he whisks loki away and they disappear in a puff of golden glitter to go play games across the stars

I mean. Fuck. This isn’t wrong

wait the Grandmaster is powerful? its a Deity? I thought he;s just an alien?

he’s, uh, kinda powerful yeah

Hes not nearly strong enough to beat thanos. That list basically just says hes stronger than a human and immortal

“h,hey you big purple dipshit”

says the grandmaster upon 1) rearranging thanos’s matter into vapor and then 2) subjecting each particle to a blinding blast of kinetic energy and then 3) teleporting each god damn remaining particle to a different corner of the universe,

“i know you liked having a, a body, and all, but uhhhhh this is what you get if you mess with my, my beautiful boyfriend here,” he waves over the battlefield and in loki’s general direction, “and the, the rest of the planet too. there’s skee ball here. skee ball, skee ball is great. so wh-whatever”

the collector is still fawning over the pretty rocks stuck in the infinity gauntlet (which he is still holding with his bare fucking hands) but he does get back into the party bus with it, which stan lee is driving

“bye, losers,” loki says before disappearing into the ether with his sugar daddy in a puff of golden glitter. the day is saved. peter parker goes back to school. bucky gets a goddamn nap under an actual blanket. steve and tony have an adult conversation for once. the rest of the movie is character development and constructive relationship building

the mid credits scene is the collector watching sex and the city on his big screen tv with the infinity gauntlet mounted above it in a lovely shadowbox frame

the end credits scene shows the grandmaster and loki in bed cuddling. loki is fast asleep. the grandmaster’s blue makeup is smudged all over loki’s face and neck and the part of his chest that’s visible. just off screen you can hear taika waititi yelling in triumph. jeff goldblum looks directly at the camera and winks. cut to black

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What X-Men: Apocalypse really needed is a scene where Apocalypse goes “Now face the wrath of the strongest mutants among you: My four Horsemen!”

And furious whispering breaks out from behind him: “We’re the what now?” 

“Did he forget to bring the horses? WAS I SUPPOSED TO BRING THE HORSES????” 

“No, it’s a metaphor. A Christian concept I think.”

 “I’m Jewish!” 

“Well I’m Muslim and also a child!” 

“No no, we can figure it out–Our mutant powers represent each horseman, right?” 

“Oh, then the horsemen are named, let’s see…Wings, Energy Whip, Storm, and Magnets.” 

“Good job guys, we solved this whole mystery. Now just wait for him to call our names and then we can break shit” 

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Okay get this : Poe Dameron does Drunk History (of the Rebellion)

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rosewindow

And then General Organa was a fuckin’ badass. I don’t remember why. She’s just always the shit. I love her. Do you think she’s proud of me? (via boxoftheskyking)

Poe Dameron, in an extremely slurred voice: “And Leia’s like, ‘help me, Obi Juan, whoever the fuck you are, you’re my only—my only—my only ho.’”

[holds up a finger and pauses to drink the rest of his beer]

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wrapscallion

I have no idea who Scalia was. Isn’t that the thing that people call themselves when they are furries but with reptiles?

You’re thinking of scalies. Scalia is a quantity that has magnitude but not direction.

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argumate

You’re thinking of scalars. Scalia is an opera house in Milan.

You’re thinking of La Scala. Scalia is is a form of thermal burn resulted from heated fluids such as boiling water or steam.

You’re thinking of scalding. Scalia are subjective internal experiences.

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shlevy

You’re thinking of qualia. Scalia is the region of Northern Europe consisting mainly of Norway, Sweden, and Finland.

You’re thinking of Scandinavia. Scalia is a company that makes trucks.

You’re thinking of Scania. Scalia is a a wizard and a Snatcher in the gang led by Fenrir Greyback in the Harry Potter universe.

You’re thinking of Scabior. Scalia was the guise assumed by Peter Pettigrew in his capacity as an Animagus,also in the Harry Potter universe.

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tharook

You’re thinking of Scabbers. Scalia is a type of triangle where no two sides have the same length.

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punlich

You’re thinking of Scalene. A Scalia is a method of stealing people’s valuables or money through elaborate falsehoods, deception and acting.

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captoring

you’re thinking of scams. scalia is the bone that connects the humerus to the clavicle.

You’re thinking of scapula. Scalia is a small knife with a thin, sharp blade that is used in surgeries and dissections.

You’re thinking of a scalpel.Scalia is an abnormal lateral curvature of the spine.

You’re thinking of scoliosis. Scalia is the author of “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.”

You’re thinking of a Scamander. Scalia is a flat tool used for flipping food.

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jhenne-bean

You’re thinking of a spatula. Scalia is any one of numerous species of saltwater clams or marine bivalve mollusks in the taxonomic family Pectinidae.

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peppapigvevo

You’re thinking of a scallop. Scalia is the eighth astrological sign in the tropic Zodiac, and one of the three water signs, along with Cancer and Pisces.

You’re thinking of Scorpio… Scalia is a vegetable in the onion family, with long green stalks, usually added to a dish for flavor.

You’re thinking of scallion. Scalia is the ship name for Scott McCall and Malia Tate from Teen Wolf.

You’re thinking of Scott/Malia. Scalia is the primary antagonist in the He-Man cartoons. He wants to seize control of Castle Grayskull, the cultural and political stronghold of Eternia, so that he can conquer the universe and shape it to accord with his own evil vision.

You’re thinking of Skeletor. Scalia is a method of using oars to propel watercraft. In modern crew competitions, it refers to two-oared rowing.

You’re thinking of sculling. Scalia are green-skinned, shape-shifting antagonists in the Marvel comic universe.

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knitmeapony

LEVERAGE FIC PROMPT: PARKER, ELIOT, AND HARDISON ON A JOB THAT'S ON A CRUISE SHIP. Who gets seasick? Who convinces half the boat they're actually the captain? Who gorges themselves on the buffets I have heard are expansive but not actually very good? Who keeps bringing up that time all those people got trapped on a cruise ship and started flinging their own feces? Who is concealing their secret deep fear of the ocean? THESE ARE THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.

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 Okay okay okay this is all VERY IMPORTANT YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT

  • nobody gets seasick, thank god, but it takes approximately 2.4 seconds for Parker to go ABSOLUTELY STIR CRAZY.  Cabin fever is real, oh god it’s so real, and god forbid the cruise they’re on is somewhere chilly like Alaska because she is already going to get hella sunburned at some point but getting frostbite/windburn too may also be in the cards if they don’t keep an eye on her.
  • All Eliot has to do is wear a well-pressed white shirt and pull his hair back and people already start mistaking him for the captain.  He can just exude an air of authority when he wants to, and since the con hinges on them taking over control of certain bits of the ships operations, Hardison actually put together a remarkable forgery of the actual cruise line’s officer jackets and Parker steals the actual captain’s hat for him.  After that, it’s all smooth sailing.  He knows enough about being at sea the talk comes easily to him, and he has tons of natural leadership qualities.  He respects everyone who works there.  Except the head chef, who has clearly stopped trying.  No excuse for that.
  • SPEAKING OF THE HEAD CHEF this food is totally catering to the american-on-vacation-junk-food diet, and no it is not good but it is sweet and rich.  THIS MEANS THAT HARDISON IS SO ON BOARD WITH ALL OF IT.  Forget about the meals, you should see the appetizer buffets! If it’s not fried, it has a cream center.  Or possibly it is put on tortilla chips. Eliot keeps warning Hardison what not to eat, so he never actually gets sick, but he sure as hell gives it the old college try.  He wanders past the buffets all the time, with his pockets lined in tin foil so he can fill them with appetizers and deserts.  Also: Parker discovers the bar on the pool deck will make her a really yummy virgin mudslide and she manages to down six of them one day and then not sleep for almost 24 hours.  She is no longer allowed on the pool deck without supervision.
  • Hardison definitely brings up the poo-flinging, especially after they deliberately stall the engines and get everyone stuck out there for almost two days so they can complete the heist.  Hardison is a delicate creature who has to practically be hauled bodily out of the cabin they’ve taken over by Eliot after they’ve been stalled for a day.  Mmm mmm, nuh uh, he knows people are about to go crazy and he is not gonna get caught up in any kind of poo flinging nonsense.  Hell no.
  • Eliot’s not afraid of the ocean, exactly.  He can swim, he can dive, he loves to fish, even deep sea fishing.  He will not be going down in a submarine, though.  He trusts the engineers that built the submarines. He trusts the pilots and the sailors he’d be down there with.  But he has been down deep.  Way down.  He has seen what is down there.  This is not some irrational fear of the unknown.  This is a completely rational fear of the known.

OTHER IMPORTANT THOUGHTS:

  • Parker is excited by the promise of a ‘climbing wall’ until she realizes it is two stories tall at its height. And it’s covered in things that anyone can grab onto.  At regular intervals. At least she can rappel down the sides of the boat when she gets itchy and nosily peek into everyone’s cabin. (Parker no, don’t go down the… damn it.)
  • Most of the crew knows what the Captain looks like.  They also know he’s a smug sonuvabitch who they do not like and cuts corners constantly.  Consequently while they do not rat Eliot out and actually start calling him ‘other Captain’, eventually he becomes ‘good Captain’ to the ‘evil Captain’.  Hardison is delighted to discover ‘evil Captain’ has a goatee.
  • Hardison gets so irritated by the lack of decent data signal he retasks a satellite.  When a couple of bored kids notice him streaming the latest season of Orphan Black in HD they wheedle him into opening up a second network for them (not his network, he’s not an idiot, but he’s got the equipment on him for an entirely different network) and eventually the cabin also becomes a one-stop shop for quasi-legal music-and-media.
  • The (surprisingly decent) illusionist doing the show in the nightclub makes Parker nostalgic and she sends Sophie and Nate an honest to god hand-written postcard and an incredibly tacky snow globe, which gets a place of honor in Nate’s home office, over his objections.
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