Wibbly-Wobbly Ramblings

is the atla fandom still around because i have more to contribute

The idea of dragons in modern times is so fun because imagine a hot summer day on your vacay and go to use the hotel pool and staff is like "valued guests we regret to inform you that the pool area is out of service at the moment, we apologize for the inconvenience"

And people like "wtf why" looking out their hotel room window and there's this. This dragon just curled up in the pool chilling, literally, cooling itself down

Some of the staff are trying to gently shoo him away and the dragon does a soft little "rrrrrr" like a grumpy cat and a warning puff of smoke and they're like "fuck it i don't get paid nearly enough for this" and no ones using the pool today sorry!

The euphoria of biting & biting & biting & biting

The euphoria

of biting & biting &

biting & biting

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Haiku bot is right, violence is indeed a form of poetry.

My friend’s little brother (non-verbal) used to hide people’s shoes if he liked the person, because it meant they had to stay longer. The more difficult it was to find your shoes, the more he liked you.

One day my cousin came over, and she was a bitch. When it was time to leave, my friend’s brother handed her shoes directly to her and she went on and on about how he must have a crush on her because he only “helped” her.

my 10 yr high school reunion is coming up in november. does anyone wanna be my fake gf for it. i was super bullied in high school but i'm hot now so i obviously am only going to do lying, crime, and theft.

pros: - you can design your own character. i love improv games and will go along with whatever bit you desire - there's an open bar - you don't know any of these people and i don't care about any of these people, which is the closest either of us will ever get to diplomatic immunity. all bets are off. go hog wild

cons: - im devastatingly pretty & funny & charming and you will fall in love with me - some of the adults present will be business majors. i cannot do anything about that im sorry. - it is a high school reunion, which is the closest either of us will ever get to a nuclear waste site

UPDATES nobody asked for:

I 100% did very much do this with @cryptidfucky. i hang out w/exclusively ne'er-do-wells, nerds, and freaks & all my friends were also EXTREMELY on board with this plan. their help ended up being crucial tbh i love them

Here are the results:

highlights include people who texted me about them:

and this one. i need to stress - i did not actually speak directly to the person who "knew" alex. we did not find that person in the crowd. my friends were just working overtime for me. god bless them.

other results include:

summary of data:

[image description: a printed out flyer with the picture of a sleeping grey tabby cat on it. It has text on it that reads:

Muffin disclaimer

So you’ve ordered a muffin! We hope you’re up for a challenge.

Our wobbly tabby cat Bea REALLY likes muffins so there are a few things to be aware of if you have a muffin in the cat area.

- She WILL climb you to try and get your muffin - She is not very good at climbing so she will claw her way up your body - It WILL hurt - She WILL NOT give up - She may try to eat the muffin right out of your mouth - She is not allowed to eat muffins

You may pick her up / move her away if needed and if you’re really struggling, come and talk to us and we will help. No matter how much she wants to, it is still very important that you don’t let her eat any muffin as it will make her sick.

Good luck and we hope you enjoy your muffin experience!

She may look sweet and innocent but we promise you she’s not

/end image description]

Bea the muffin thief has come upon my timeline again and I am obliged to reblog.

Okay, but I would pay extra for this driveway.

Um, can I please get every neighborhood kid and animal to come walk across my driveway? Can I get a cat to just run around on there? This flock of ducks did such an amazing job!

I was 18 months old when my parents built their house. After pouring the concrete slab for the foundation, my father, world’s most sentimental man, carried me down into the hole so he could preserve a single imprint of my little baby foot in the house he was building for me to grow up in.

Naturally, I wriggled loose, so what is actually preserved for posterity in my parents’ basement floor is my mad dash through this glorious new mud pit, followed by my father’s footprints in hot pursuit, a visible scuffle where the fugitive was captured, and then my father’s prints returning to the ladder.

worst part of original writing is getting hung up on your own lore. i miss fanfiction where i could look it up on a wiki and get five answers and ignore them all to make up my own thing because canon is stupid.

#tbf didn’t op like…create a ludicrous amount of lore when they did write fanfic? (via @mollyhats)

let’s not bring the corporate structure of wayne enterprises into this, that’s different because reasons

#didn’t op also make a spreadsheet of all the things that make bruce wayne sad?#both as a fic and as a reference? (via @lady-of-innisfree)

okay listen,

I believe OP also made screenshots for an article from a pretend wiki for the pretend soap opera channel Bruce Wayne owns, about a character in a pretend soap opera, which detail the plots the character was involved in, and the in-universe controversy surrounding this character’s story arc and statements from the pretend showrunner regarding these events.

that’s

that’s a normal amount of lore, to have,

i like Ma & Pa Kent a lot bcos like, their whole thing is that they’re the normalest, nicest human parents in existence, but also, they are the people who found a baby inside a crashed spaceship and just took him home and told no-one.

i also like that the OG backstory was ‘they reported him as a foundling & then adopted him through the normal channels’ which is a reasonably plausible chain of events (it’s not a common thing to happen but like, here’s a case from 2000, so it’s not impossible) but basically every subsequent set of writers seems to have been like ‘no no the Kents did fraud’

#I looked it up and in kanas you need proof of pregnancy to record a home birth #they did so much fraud

hmm i’m also looking this up & it looks like a note from your doctor suffices as proof of pregnancy? so not wildly difficult to fake esp if they were like friends w the town doctor

a complication might be that Clark wouldn’t necessarily be a newborn - it looks like you technically only have 5 days to register a birth in Kansas so if he was visibly older than that they’d have problems? if so they’d potentially have to apply for a delayed birth certificate which requires supporting documentation. 

however acceptable supporting documentation includes things like church records & birth notices in newspapers which strike me as, again, not massively difficult to fake if you were in good w certain members of your local community.

#everyone ma & pa’s age or older are in on it #just an entire small town doing massive baby fraud for their good friends

yeah see i like this a lot bcos i think it establishes 2 key aspects of the Kents from the get go:

1) such genuinely nice, trustworthy & well-liked members of the community that they can reach out to their peers for help w something like this and get it without question; and

2) down to lie to the government.

That’s just how Kansas farmers are.

the batman sequel trailer will show him adopting dick grayson and instead of nirvana the song will be teenagers by my chemical romance

Via @aethersea

More tags from aethersea:

#dc movies all insist on a dark gritty aesthetic & tone #with lots of gratuitous violence and overblown action scenes #and I DEMAND that robin join the club #while ALSO being a happy sunshine child #who is just #really down for murder actually #all that happy sunshine is 40% his actual personality and 60% desperately masking the yawning void of rage and grief #oh however we must put the boy in bright colors #I know batman movies in particular are allergic to anything above a muted grey but we must have color #what they did to the riddler's design was bad enough #robin? robin is a traffic light and anything short of that is an insult

Because big mood.

i bought my idiot sons a new toy because they are my darling princes who deserve only the finest dangly feathers on sticks and tomas is as always being a chill lad about it but kaspar has absolutely lost his fucking mind. utterly convinced that some sort of unkillable demon bird has entered his home. the man has gone full liam neeson re: the dangly feathers. i wiggle the stick a bit and he goes totally black in the eyes, hisses, growls, acrobatic fuckin pirouettes off the handle this cat. absolutely twisted with terrible rage when the beast (cannot emphasize enough: some feathers on a string) does not stay dead. van helsing energy. this cat would fully be performing the monologue from the end of Moby Dick if he knew what English was. i eventually hid the toy because I was growing to fear what my boy had become and he scanned the fuckin skies for it for at least ten minutes, which is twenty times longer than I thought his memory even lasted.  this is a beast who will SCREAM for cuddles and insist on being kissed forty-seven times on his tiny head before even considering letting you get some work done but also, to each generation a Slayer is born, APPARENTLY

Obviously at one point in time all their faces were being plastered across the galaxy for assorted bounties, but I like to think that as time goes on post-RotJ, Leia goes and becomes the extremely recognizable President of the New Republic, Luke becomes the still fairly-recognizable Grand Master of the Jedi Order (even if it’s mostly because of the robes/lightsaber), and Han becomes the galactic equivalent of Tony Hawk, who is still extremely famous but absolutely no one realizes it because his Just Some Guy energy is off the charts.

He’ll be out in public and something will prompt him to make an offhand comment about having been in the Rebel Alliance and people will be like “Oh, you were in the Rebellion? That’s so cool. Did you ever know anyone important? Like President Organa-Solo?” and he’ll wearily snap “THAT’S MY WIFE!!”

At least one assassination attempt on Leia’s life has been thwarted because the person planning on slipping something in her drink at an important function started chatting with him as cover not realizing who they were talking to and he sensed something was fishy before they could slip away.

One day he goes to the Jedi Temple to pick up his kids from a training thing and a new-ish Jedi recruit who’s a little too overzealous about security calls Luke in to make sure he’s the right guy, and when Luke shakes his head and, holding back laughter, very seriously says “No, I’ve never seen that man in my life” Han just looks him dead in the eye and replies “We were alone on Hoth, kid. I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.”

#oh im obsessed#han has the space equivalent of twitter where hes like ‘was in the spaceport with the falcon today#the attendant said ‘oh hey that looks like the ship senator organas always flying around in’ and i was like ‘yes. because it is.’’ just like#tony hawk’s twitter via @harriisonford

I would legit read 100k words of this

“The Perfect Heist Hack”

Fun Fact: I modified a pair of pants for this sketch so I could hold 30 feet of rope and a full-sized grappling hook in the pant leg. Useful!

featuring Jordan Hare

#this is what we’re losing by not putting disabled characters in action/fantasy/sf stories#hitherto unavailable shenanigans!

Helping shovel snow.

he really just scooped that man

This is the cutest thing!

oh jesus christ that’s adorable

I'm a stuck-sorus