NEKKYO USAGI

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Maeda Keiji and Matsukaze

Translated the drama CD track from the One Punch Man Vol. 1 DVD, titled ‘A Festival with Saitama,’ where Saitama and Genos go to a summer festival together. Enjoy!

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Saitama: One Punch Man Special CD, a Festival with Saitama. Saitama: On that day, I was in quite a hurry. Saitama: All right! And with that, I’m done washing my laundry. Hey Genos, did you get the clothes? Genos: Yes! I have finished collecting the clothes, Sensei. Saitama: Awesome, so once we’re done folding the clothes we can be done with these chores. I’ll help with the folding. Genos: No, it’s fine! Saitama: But there are this many t-shirts alone, so if we do it together it’ll be much faster. C’mon give me a few so I can help out. Genos: It’s okay. I am very confident in my folding skills. Look at this, Sensei! *folds the clothes* Saitama: Dang, you’re right. You’re super methodical. *folds another shirt* Genos: Ah! What was that? Saitama: Is something wrong? Genos: What just happened? What is the meaning of this…the speed of Sensei’s folding…it’s not normal! *calculating* TWO SECONDS! Saitama: Why are you suddenly speaking so loudly? Genos: With my calculations, even at the fastest speed, folding these t-shirts would still take five seconds. Saitama: Eh? Genos: But then with this over-accuracy, there is a possibility that I would damage the fabric of the shirt. Saitama: What the? Genos: BUT SENSEI ONLY TOOK TWO SECONDS AND― Saitama: What? Genos: Not only that, but not an inch is out of place! The shirt is perfectly folded! Saitama: Genos, what’s wrong? Genos: How is this possible? Saitama: Hey, why did you grow so serious all of a sudden? Genos? Genos: SENSEI Saitama: Whaat? Genos: Please fold this t-shirt one more time. Saitama: But I just did! Genos: No, please once more! Saitama: Huh? Are you interested in how I fold things? Okay so one more time…I’ll demonstrate with this t-shirt right here. Genos: Yes! Saitama: You ready? So you take the two sides of the t-shirt like so, put them against each other and then you just kind of flip it over and look! Didja see that? It folds instantly! Amazing, right? Genos: Amazing…as expected of Sensei! Saitama: Eh? You’re that surprised? Genos: Sensei, where did you learn such an amazing method of folding shirts? Saitama: I was watching TV and saw this show about how to save time by doing…HEY YOU! Why are you messing up the clothes I just folded JEEZ? You must be kidding me! Genos: I see now…With this t-shirt folding mechanism in place, I seem to be hung up on an existing form of this art. Saitama: Are you even listening? Genos: I understand now, Sensei! For a normal way of folding t-shirts, you would first place the back of the shirt facing up, fold the two arms in, and then fold the shirt in half. Just like that, right? Saitama: Yeah, I guess so. Yeah… Genos: But Sensei’s method is different! I have captured a bias in that form. Saitama: Uh…what are you talking about? Genos: For the sake of speed and progress, you change the way you fold your clothes. It is an impeccable change of thought process! As expected of you, Sensei! Saitama: Like I said, people who know how to do it this way would do it like me. And besides, I just saw some lifestyle improvement tips from the TV that included this anyway! Genos: Please wait a moment, Sensei. I need to write this in my memo. Saitama: Just memorize it normally. Okay, whatever. Just hurry up and clean up since today I would like to― Genos: Now that you mention it, you did say you were looking forward to some event today, right? What kind of event was it? Saitama: Oh, did I not tell you? Today is―

*cellphone rings*

Genos: So Sensei, what was this important thing you were trying to tell me again? Saitama: Wait, aren’t you going to pick that up? I’m interested in what’s going on. Genos: Oh, uh…okay. Hello? Yeah, it’s me. Oh really? Where? Saitama (to himself): That guy…there are things I just don’t get about him. And we ended up not folding anything! That guyyyyy!!!!!! Genos: It’s a call from the Hero Association. Saitama: What did they say? A monster appeared? Genos: Yes, today in Z City a single monster has been advancing within the premises. At the moment, we are waiting on confirmation. According to witnesses, this monster does not seem to be a major threat. The level of the monster is low, so Sensei will not need to be involved in such trivial matters. Saitama: Oh? So I don’t need to go? Genos: Yes, although the Hero Association did call for us, I do not think that it is necessary as Sensei is looking forward to the event later today anyway. If absolutely necessary, I can handle this alone. Saitama: Really? By the way, where is the thing located? When it’s over let’s meet up. Genos: It’s in Central Park. Saitama: What…did you just say Central Park? Genos: Yes. I did. Saitama: Wha―whaaaaatttt!?!?!?!?!?

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Festival Monster: Ehehehe! I finally made it to the festival! All of this stuff was made for me to destroy! Yes, I will never forgive the stupid summer festivals for ruining me! I’m going to destroy it all! I became so jealous of all these girls and boys attending the festival and got so angry that I became a monster! I am the Loner Festival Monster! Saitama: Hey, you! Festival Monster: Who are you? Some kind of random priest?

*punch* *monster goes flying*

Festival Monster: Guess I’m off!!!!! Saitama: I’m not bald! And this is a yukata! Genos: Sensei! Saitama: Ah, Genos! Seems like the monster has not interrupted the preparations of the festival! Genos: Yes, the monster did not cause a large commotion yet. Saitama: Thank god we made it in time. But it was super risky! If this guy were to really mess things up, the Summer Festival would be cancelled! Genos: Sensei…do you mean that the event you were very excited about was this festival? Saitama: Yeah, this festival. Genos: That’s what I thought. I am not sure what makes festivals so fun, but if Sensei says so, then perhaps there is something more than meets the eye at these ordinary events that might be linked to why you are so powerful…? Saitama: No no, that’s not it! Stuff like this is just FUN! It helps you forget the bad times! See? Festivals are the epitome of Summer! Look at all the kakigori (shaved ice) and yakisoba (fried noodles), and all the bustling food stands! For a normal young person, this kind of stuff really gets you in the mood, right? Genos: I am sorry, Sensei. I am not like other normal human beings as I have artificial parts and… Saitama: No, this has nothing to do with parts! *sighs* I just thought that, well, you’re always fighting monsters and taking all these notes, always being so serious and putting yourself under stress. I thought that maybe going out to places like this will be good for you. And it’s free too… Saitama: I see…I guess you’re not really into those kind of things? Well, it’s been a really long time for me as well… Genos: No, it’s not that I am not interested in this, but it’s more like I do not know much about it. Saitama: Eh? Do you mean you’ve never come to a festival before? Genos: No, it is a bit different. I do have memories of coming to a festival when I was very young with my family, but I am not sure if that memory is real or not. I have been so caught up in my goal that I try not to remember much about my past. Saitama: Oh, I see. I assumed so. You seem to be quite complex. It’s my bad… Genos: No, it’s fine! I see now… so this is what a festival is like!

*Bon Odori music starts playing*

Saitama: Seems like the Bon Odori* is about to start over there! Genos: Bon…Odori? Saitama: Shall we go, Genos? Genos: Of course! Let us go together, Sensei! Saitama: Yup! Besides, we already defeated the monster today as well! Genos: Right! And if we hurry, we can go back home and fold the rest of the t-shirts, Sensei! Saitama: Wait a minute *nudges Genos* what do you even mean by that? That’s all on you, man! Jeez!

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T/N: *Bon Odori is a type of traditional group dance done during the Obon Festival (usually around August), which is done to honor one’s ancestors and heritage.

And uh…festival date much lol?