“Dress for Functionality”

My entry for the Bagginshield Summer Adventure! The following prompt was gifted to me:

So, as promised, here is some summery goodness! (and I think I loved working on this as much as Thorin loves his new clothes!) No warnings apply, but there is some light angst. The word count is ~3k.

A huge thanks to the lovely @aquilea-of-the-lonely-mountain for hosting this summer fandom event! I’m so very glad to participate, it is an absolute honour and I hope you enjoy the story, as well as all the other lovelies out there! ♪

You can read it on AO3 right here or down below!

“Nobody is forcing you to wear it, Thorin.”

“But it is practical.” Bilbo barely had the strength to look at Thorin. How could a man be so fully clothed in such blazing-hot weather? A simple glance at Thorin made Bilbo feel cramped! “Where should I store my coin if not for my pockets. And where must I keep my glasses?”

Bilbo shrugged. “On your head?”

“Don't be ridiculous.”

Right, he was being ridiculous. Was it ever different?

There was nothing he could do. He has been trying for one full week to draw Thorin out of his garb. The weather in the Shire has never been this achingly hot before, and while Bilbo had quite the wardrobe to compromise with this weather, Thorin had nothing with him but long-sleeved tunics and trousers taller than Bilbo himself! It was a true shame, it was, and Bilbo begged Thorin to change. He could see he was hot. His face would take a very concerning shade of red and he would be sweaty, sometimes panting like a hound if they moved through the village... It was unhealthy, and at this point, Bilbo was growing more and more anxious... Mainly because the temperature continued to rise with each passing day.

Bilbo groaned when Thorin reached for his coat. “You are not going to wear that–“

“So what then, I will have to carry our groceries? I need my pockets.” Thorin tucked both his hands in the pockets of his leather coat. In all honesty, Bilbo actually felt his own body itch at this point, as though he was laden with many layers of clothing himself, and his hands seized with the will to yank those clothes right off Thorin's body, and let him breathe. “Or need I remind you of the last time I did not take my coat, and we had to purchase a bag.”

Bilbo's eyes fluttered shut with frustration. “We didn't have to buy one–“

“So we would've had to walk twice. Because that is convenient,” Thorin said. He drew open the round door of the Smial. The heat crashed onto them like the burning of Smaug’s fires - unexpected and unforgiving. The one positive about living underground was that it was usually rather cool, so opening the door was a bit like an unfair battle. It would be overwhelming, and almost sickening. At least Bilbo could fight it well. He wore short pants and a very simple short-sleeved blouse with suspenders. Had his blouse been any thinner it wouldn't even exist at all!

And then there was Thorin, who strode out of their house in his fur boots, a black pair of trousers, a tunic of thick, wintry material and a leather coat...

Bilbo pushed his straw hat on his head with a deep sigh, following him down Bagshot Row towards the markets.