It only took one lie
This is the fic I wrote for the @haveahappyhobbitholiday exchange, for AndyCmorga, where you can find baggisnshield fake-dating goodness and all kinds of fluff, pining and misunderstandings (seriously, the fluff and the pining on this one is up to the roof).
Hope you enjoy it and I wish you all happy holidays! 🎉🎉❤❤
“You did what?!” Shouted Bilbo, fastening his robe. The last thing he expected on a peaceful Sunday afternoon was for Thorin to come barging in his house and tell him that.
“I might have panicked for a moment and I might have ended up telling Dís we’re dating.” Said Thorin, scratching his neck and refusing to meet Bilbo's eyes. He sighed and looked at Bilbo, his face slightly flushed. “I was hoping you could aid me, Master Baggins. She seemed genuinely happy and it’s been a long while since I see her like that. I can’t tell her the truth.”
“You simply don’t want Dís to laugh at you, do you?” Asked Bilbo, crossing his arms and giving Thorin a disapproving look.
Thorin's eye twitched — a clear sign that Bilbo had been spot on. “You can hardly fault me, she’s merciless and if she found out I lied to her she would never let me forget about it!”
Bilbo gave him a commiserating look. Thorin looked genuinely worried and just as he had said, Bilbo could hardly fault him. Dís was even worse than Kíli and Fíli combined when it came to teasing and taunting her older brother. She was the definition of 'troublesome little sister' and wore the title with pride. Bilbo thought it wouldn’t hurt to fool her for a little bit more, the lie would be found out soon enough — after all, no one on their right mind would believe Thorin had chosen a simple hobbit as his long-life partner.
"Very well." Said Bilbo, at last. "But! — But I will only help you until you find the guts to tell her." Bilbo added when Thorin gave him a relieved look. "Also, if we're courting, the very least you could do is call me by my name."
"Thank you, Bilbo. I truly appreciate your help." Thorin said, squeezing one of Bilbo's hands between his own.
"What did you tell Dís exactly? We need to create a credible story if you truly want this to work." Bilbo tugged Thorin by the hand. "Come sit, we'll be more comfortable inside."