Tumblr 2015 in a nutshell (so far)

Me, on a date: “So, what are your thoughts on the dress?”

My date: “Actually, I came here to audition for the role of Pluto and I will be singin-”

Me, immediately shoving breadsticks into purse: “I’m sorry I have to go home immediately…”

My date: Okay… That sounds fake but okay.

Me, gorging breadsticks into my mouth as I head out of the door: “Ugh these breadsticks are a beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure…”

By Fallout Boy

Throw a list of the Zodiac signs as breadsticks in there and it will be 100% complete.

Me: This year I lost my best friend

Them: Quit telling people I’m- JOHN CENA

JUST DO IT

gun