If you would report an undocumented immigrant to ICE you would have reported me to the Nazis and I don’t fucking trust you

A note:

I live in a state where you “have to” report anyone you suspect of being undocumented (that wonderful hellhole of Arizona). Now in practice this law has fallen far short, thank goodness. But if you live in such a place and they start enforcing it, here is how you get around it:

Assume everyone who doesn’t speak English is visiting.

Never ask about their job, because if they tell you they work here then you know they’re not visiting. You see them a lot for several weeks or months? Hm. Someone in the family must be ill. That’s terribly tough. They always dress in old, ratty laborers’ clothes? I feel you, my dude, I can’t afford new clothes either, and my dad has the fashion sense of an aardvark, so sometimes it’s not even about “affording” them. They say they’ve been here for years? You must have misunderstood. Spanish isn’t your first language, after all. First and last name? It never came up, or you don’t recall–you meet a lot of people.

And then, if you’re asked: no, you haven’t seen anyone residing illegally in the United States. Just people visiting.

Very good very important addition

Essentially, this is the civil society version of a work-to-rule strike.

Don’t do more than is expressly asked of you, and do what you are asked with such an intense attention to protocol that not asking you at all becomes more effective than even bothering.

In this case:

“Have you seen an illegal immigrant?”

“Could you describe an illegal immigrant, officer?”

*officer describes a person who is in the country without appropriate paperwork, or who has crossed the border illegally*

“No, sir, I haven’t seen any illegal immigrant.”

And this is correct. You have NOT seen an illegal immigrant, because you have no way of knowing if Jose Fulano is here legally or not. And since you can’t see his paperwork (or lack thereof), and did not personally see him cross the border illegally, you are only answering precisely the question asked.

I’m not American, and I have like, three followers, but this is important.

Please please please read this

I spent most of my childhood in court trying to keep my parents in the country since we live in Arizona

It’s fucking terrifying

Even though they’ve always had paperwork, if you happen to be caught without it at the moment the police arrive, they deport you.

So if you’re in this situation (and aren’t a piece of shit) just try this, because even if people are here legally (or not) families get torn apart.

A simple mental health pain scale.

I’m so thankful this exists. I think that many people with mental health issues (myself included) downplay what they’re going through.

I’m an 8 right now. If I hadn’t seen this chart tonight I’d keep denying my struggle. Now I have to face it.

i’ve seen these for physical pain all over the place. never one for emotional pain, till now. thank you!

Image description: A chart with cartoon faces down the left side and descriptions on the right. They are numbered 1 through 10 from top to bottom.  The #1 face at the very top is green and smiling widely.  The #10 face at the bottom is red and frowning with tears running down its cheeks.  All the other faces are colors in between, from green to yellow to red, their expressions representing a scale from happy to miserable.  Each face has a description accompanying it, and is classified as mild, moderate, or severe.

MILD

1 Everything is A-OK! There is absolutely nothing wrong. You’re probably cuddling a fluffy kitten right now.  Enjoy!

2 You’re a bit frustrated or disappointed, but you’re easily distracted and cheered up with little effort.

3 Things are bothering you, but you’re coping.  You might be overtired or hungry.  The emotional equivalent of a headache.

MODERATE

4 Today is a bad day (or a few bad days). You still have the skills to get through it, but be gentle with yourself. Use self-care strategies.

5 Your mental health is starting to impact on your everyday life. Easy things are becoming difficult. You should talk to your doctor.

6 You can’t do things the way you usually do them because of your mental health. Impulsive and compulsive thoughts may be hard to cope with. 

SEVERE

7 You’re avoiding things that make you more distressed, but that will make it worse. You should definitely seek help. This is serious.

8 You can’t hide your struggles anymore. You may have issues sleeping, eating, having fun, socializing, and work/study. Your mental health is affecting almost all parts of your life.

9 You’re at a critical point. You aren’t functioning anymore.  You need urgent help. You may be a risk to yourself or others if left untreated.

10 The worst mental and emotional distress possible. You can no longer care for yourself. You can’t imagine things getting any worse. Contact a crisis line immediately.

For fuck’s sake people, please credit the person who came up with this: https://thegracefulpatient.wordpress.com/2017/12/15/a-simple-mental-health-pain-scale/

Ao3 updated its filters and that is very exciting! Quick note, however, on how the crossover filter works for anyone who might not yet be aware. (This post was made on July 5th, 2018. This may change.) 

[Screenshot of the “Crossovers” filter on AO3, under “More Options”. There are three possible selections: 1) Include crossovers, 2) Exclude crossovers, and 3) Show only crossovers. Option 1) “Include crossovers” is selected.] 

This is great! However, what counts as a crossover? At the moment, a crossover appears to be anything that has more than one Fandom tag. 

Let’s make some rough fic drafts on AO3 as examples. 

[Screenshot of a fic draft on AO3 titled “Example 1: HP & Naruto Crossover”. Summary: “Harry Potter falls through a portal into the Naruto universe.” Under Fandoms, “Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling” and “Naruto” are both tagged.] 

Everyone can agree that’s a crossover, right? Now let’s look at another one. 

[Screenshot of a fic draft on AO3 titled “Example 2: Black Panther Fic”. Summary: “After the events of Black Panther (2018), T’challa and Shuri go to Coachella.” Under Fandoms, “Marvel Cinematic Universe” and “Black Panther (2018)” are both tagged.]

Both of these potential fics are considered “Crossovers” under the current AO3 filter system. Crossovers seem to be currently defined as any fic that has two or more Fandoms tagged. 

Yes, even though the Black Panther (2018) movie is an installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, both tags together are currently considered a crossover. Yes, even though things tagged solely under “Black Panther (2018)” will show up under the “Marvel Cinematic Universe” tag anyway. 

Look, both coding and tag-wrangling can be difficult and tedious jobs. I am very grateful to AO3 for their amazing platform for transformative works and I am sure that this issue will likely be sorted out in time. They just implemented this new filtering system (it’s really cool and I’m excited to be browsing fics with these new additions), I’m sure it was a lot of work, and some minor issues appearing is just to be expected. That’s not why I made this post. 

I made this post so 1) People can be aware and have patience. If you’re looking for crossovers, you may still have to try the Additional Tag “Crossover” or search for specific fandom crossovers.  

And 2) So people can maybe rethink how they tag their fics. If everything tagged with “Tag A” shows up under “Tag B” anyway, then does the fic really need to be tagged with both “Tag A” and “Tag B”? 

Happy and successful fic browsing! 

Crossovers are indeed defined, under the filtering system, as “any fic that has two or more fandoms tagged” when one of those fandoms is not a metatag of the other, they’re not both subtags of the same metatag, and they’re not synonyms of one another. The Avengers/MCU case is a weird example (which is already in the process of being fixed) because of a few different issues, so it’s not the best case to use for this demo.

Observe here: 

All those tags on these works are Star Wars subtags - so they don’t register as a crossover, and still appear in the works listing even though you can see I have crossovers excluded.  This is as it’s supposed to be!  

However, you need to look at how the tags are connected to really know what’s going to happen if you tag with multiple fandoms.  Even if you think they’re related/the same, they might not be linked in tag wrangling terms.  To use as an example one fandom that I write in, Jeeves and Wooster (the TV show) is NOT currently linked to Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse (the books).  This means that even though the characters and plots are similar/overlapping, if I tag with both fandoms in order to try and catch more readers, it will result in my work appearing as a crossover to the new filters.  

It doesn’t mean that I’m tagging ‘wrong’ by any means - my work might legitimately belong to both book and TV show fandoms - but it just means I should bear in mind that it’ll appear as a crossover under the new filters.    

You can look at how tags are connected - you don’t need to be a tag wrangler to see the structure behind the system.  If you click on this link at the top of a page:

(Where it says “Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse”) then you’ll be taken to the tag’s wrangling page:

and can see what tags are synonyms of it, what its metatags and subtags are, and various other things about it.  This can be helpful in deciding whether it’s the correct tag you want to use, and knowing what other tags are related to it.

But it’s important to bear in mind that the filters are not a mind-reading tool!  They can only function based on what people have tagged in the fandom field. So if, say, someone hasn’t tagged multiple fandoms, but has tagged with a relationship between characters of two different fandoms, it won’t pick up on that.  Same if there’s a character from another fandom mixed into the character tags.  Or if there’s an Additional tag that says something like “Crossover with [other fandom]”, it won’t detect that.    

Things to keep in mind when tagging your works, and when deciding how you want to filter!  

[Image: A tweet from @akatookey, which reads: “funzies tip for my friends with medical debt; when collectors hound you, demand an itemized invoice. If they don’t give you one, you have grounds to contest the debt. If they do give you one, someone violated HIPAA and you can contest the debt.“]

Now here is some ding-danged useful information! Another user pointed out that over half of small debt collectors lack this information because they buy their debts in bulk for cheap and in return get really disorganized paperwork. They encourage folks to look up “debt validation letter” online to get more information on this.

This tidbit was sourced from The Debt Resistor’s Operations Manual by Strike Debt and Occupy Wall Street, a free resource many readers will want to have a closer look at. Download it here!

being forced to be constantly accessible damages your boundaries and ability to make boundaries. I don’t care what anyone says about “it’s 2017 and you should be able to text back unless you’re in the hospital or the movies”. no one is entitled to anyone 24/7. it’s fucking unhealthy at best and manipulative and abusive at worst to expect this of someone.

give people their space. make sure your people give you your space.

Hi, I have crippling anxiety, and I assume when people don’t text me back that they actually hate me.

So yeah, quick responses are nice. Especially if it’s a friend who I KNOW is attached to their phone at the hip.

Hi, I’m sorry to hear this, but this still doesn’t make you entitled to anybody’s time!

While quick responses are nice, they should never be expected! Because even people who have their phones at their hips all the time have other things to do!

@theoriginalmajestic hey, pal, as someone who is in successful recovery from “crippling anxiety” might I suggest that instead of expecting your friends to cater to your every need and exist purely to provide stimulation and constant reassurance to you, that you instead focus your efforts on healing from anxiety yourself so that you can resort to self-soothing techniques and crisis management strategies when anxious instead of flipping your fucking shit because your friend took a nap and isn’t here to validate your (by definition) inherently irrational behaviors and (unconsciously, I’m sure) manipulative tendencies? Cool, thanks, good luck buddy, I’m rooting for you.

you’re gonna have to be more specific than that mate

Certainly!

Considering no one can truly be available 24/7, if you rely on your friends’ responses to manage your feelings of anxiety, you are both validating and perpetuating your irrational thoughts (“if my friends didn’t hate me, they’d respond immediately”) and also setting yourself up for inevitable failure and future emotional crisis (because eventually there will be a time they do not respond immediately). This also doesn’t help you grow and progress to a healthier place along the path to recovery, because at best you’re just maintaining the status quo by temporarily relieving symptoms, not learning or practicing techniques to handle those symptoms before they take over your entire mood.

There are of course several more productive ways to deal with anxiety instead of expecting your friends to constantly prove they don’t hate you. I’d always recommend a good therapist as the best idea (and have written at length before about how to find a great one) but barring that option, anxiety is a disorder particularly well-suited to self management.

Most major chain bookstores have a psychology section; I’d think books on cognitive behavioral therapy/CBT would be a great place to start, because CBT is all about identifying the negative thoughts in your mind (“if my friends don’t respond immediately they hate me”) and replacing them with more accurate, healthier statements (“just because my friends have their own lives, it doesn’t mean I’m not important to them”). Alternatively, everyone here probably knows I’m a huge fan of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy/DBT. It was created for (and by!) Borderline people, but seeing as how it’s essentially an upgraded form of CBT plus some other bells and whistles (self-management of suicidal thoughts, that sort of thing) it should work well too. And I know Barnes & Nobles stocks CBT and DBT workbooks specifically modified to be used by people with Anxiety.

Visiting the bookstore is also a good time to pick up some books about Anxiety Disorder. Obviously you know you have it, but understanding what sets it off, what it looks like, and how it works will be really useful for the next bit, and if nothing else is VERY important for any sort of self-advocacy on your own behalf toward doctors, teachers, employers, or parents.

But my FAVORITE trick? My go to technique I always seem to resort to in the moment to handle symptoms of any of my disorders but especially my anxiety? I psychoanalyze myself out of them.

I have researched anxiety as a disorder very thoroughly. I’m fortunate enough to have access to a good therapist (which, I won’t deny, helps a lot) with whom I’ve discussed what anxiety looks like. I’ve put a lot of work into identifying what MY anxiety looks like (for instance, I tend to worst-case-scenario and it sounds like you do too: “I don’t want to call my boss, what if there’s an issue I don’t know about, and by calling him I remind him, and he fires me, and I lose all my money and wind up homeless, and–”) and just as importantly, what the WARNING SIGNS of my anxiety looks like. Through experience and hard work I know exactly when I’m starting to pull my thoughts from the anxiety part of my brain, not the part that lives in the real world.

And I take a step back, and I go somewhere private, and I talk through the false logic to point out the flaw. Often, in front of the bathroom mirror; looking myself in the eye seems to distract me out of obsessive hysteria.

For example (note again, UNDERSTANDING ANXIETY DISORDER HELPS HERE):

“I texted Janet that I was upset, and she didn’t text me back, and it’s been like an hour, and I know she was using the phone earlier, she must be ignoring me!”

“Ok, so what specifically am I feeling right now, and why?” (I always start with this)

“Well, I’m upset! I thought we were friends and friends are supposed to care! So, I guess I’m mad at Janet too! But like, idk at the same time I’m mad at myself for being like this! No wonder she hates me!”

“Okay so I’m in a rough place and I reached out and she didn’t answer right away, and I’m feeling rejected, and I’m also frustrated with myself because I’m feeling hurt over it. Has Janet TOLD me she hates me?”

“Well, no, but maybe she doesn’t care enough, or she thinks I’m needy!”

“That doesn’t make sense, I know Janet well, we had a great time yesterday, and she’s a nice person. She’d tell me if I was doing something that annoyed her. Could there be other reasons she didn’t respond?”

“I mean…I guess…her phone could have died…or she forgot to unmute it….or maybe she was driving, or she saw it and meant to respond and got distracted….”

“Okay, so which is more likely: that my friend of 5 years secretly hates me and has been hiding it all this time even though that would be a really mean thing to do and she’s not mean? Or literally any one of those things, say, her battery died because she uses her phone so much?”

“I guess…the battery thing…”

“So it’s way more likely than not that she DOESN’T hate me. Now, I know a few facts. I know I have anxiety. I know that anxiety’s symptoms include going into panic mode over minor setbacks, and also having trouble understanding social relationships and feeling insecure in them. And I know when *I* get anxious I start secondguessing all my friendships and getting really selfcritical and thinking nobody likes me. Doesn’t that sound a lot like this? So really, if you think about it, thinking their friends hate them is exactly the sort of textbook symptom you’d expect to see in someone who has an anxiety disorder, right? And the whole thing about anxiety is it’s my brain misinterpreting things and jumping to irrational conclusions because anxiety likes to think everything is a catastrophe. So if this is almost definitely my brain being anxious, then it’s not based on my actual real relationship, and Janet doesn’t really hate me.”

Usually by then I’ve either A, convinced myself what I’m freaking out about is irrational, or B, so thoroughly distracted myself by my self-dialogue that the overemotional moment has passed and I can think more clearly. And at this point, it’s become so habitual and easy to recognize my anxiety through practice that it usually winds up being “ooh, Janet didn’t respond, she must hate–shut the fuck up anxiety no one likes you.”

What I find really helps wrap it up is by thinking of one productive step I can take to deal with the situation. Sometimes that’s making an immediate plan, like “I’m going to wash my face, pour an iced tea, and go watch that show I wanted to see.” Sometimes that’s “ok so tomorrow when I see Janet I’ll just tell her that I tend to really secondguess myself sometimes, and if I ever do something to genuinely piss her off, could she make sure to tell me? That way if I get like this in the future I can trust that Janet isn’t mad at me, because if she was, she’d have said so.”

I’ve been doing this for years and my anxiety, while still present, isn’t medicated and hasn’t severely fucked me up in ages, because I understand what it looks like and I make a conscious effort to strip it of its power over me. I promise you, that’s a way more productive use of time and emotion, and you’ll get way more benefit out of it than you’ll get out of checking your phone 18 times an hour in panic because nobody’s answered you yet. And as a bonus, it’s not forcing your friends to play caregiver to your negative symptoms, which is unfair to them.

Specific enough, mate?

As a psychologist, this last post makes me choke up with joy. Yes. CBT. It works. It’s so rare that I get to see someone successfully utilizing it - because once they do they leave me. *tears up*

@thursday-next-thursday I was pulling from my experience with DBT, actually, but of course one derives from the other!

I encourage anyone with anxiety to also read through the entirety of this post. 💙

OK NO BUT GUYS

IDK IF YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS WEBSITE YET, BUT I DON’T EVEN CARE IF YOU DO.

CHARAHUB BASICALLY ALLOWS YOU TO MAKE A DIRECTORY OF ALL YOUR OCS.

LIKE SO

AND SO (they let you get super detailed)

It lets you store 100 characters (you gain 2 extra slots whenever someone uses your referral code) and 10 images per character. You can even make GROUPS to organize them a little more— per RP or something. Image files can’t be too big either.

BUT if you want more file size, more character slots, and more other stuff, you can get a subscription! Don’t worry, subscriptions are super cheap (take notes, deviantART)!

Ok you can go make one now.

pssst dudes charahub is really cool for character reference stuff. i have one, i should really make more use of it.

How did I not know of this?!

I found this really awesome free app for dealing with mental health issues.

It’s called Booster Buddy, it’s free, and it’s available for both Android and iOS.

It works by giving you ‘quests’ (daily tasks) that you are encouraged to complete each day. They are very small things and it caters to you (it asks you questions at the start about what you struggle with).

It’s designed to be child friendly and easy to understand. I’m finding it really helpful. You can also input medication times for a reminder and emergency contact details.

I love this app and I had to share it with you all!

thank you for this.

“PLEASE come wake me up again tomorrow”…think of all the lives this app could save

I’ve got this app and seriously it really helps. Not only do you have a calendar to record medication and feelings but you also want to wake up every morning to help the animal. It pretty much made my life better.

@hipsterghouls

SO GUYS. Reblogging from myself because I just downloaded the app and it’s got some really useful features.

In the Settings section, there is a list of Helpful Websites for a variety of different mental health issues. The list is short, but it is a great idea.

The app has you input information (which you can choose not to share) like your local emergency number, local hospital, and an emergency contact person.

There are plenty of activities to keep you going in the right direction.

There is a calendar function and a medication reminder if you need one– and if you have an “as needed” medication, the app can remind you to take them if you check in in “Crisis” mode.

You can edit or change your information at any time, including your symptoms.

Also, less useful but really cute, you can dress up your animal buddy as you do more activities.

TL;DR This app is adorable and will probably be really, really useful for a lot of people.

BoosterBuddy!

I just downloaded this app this morning and it’s A M A Z I N G. I’m not overstating. This app combines some of the best elements and methods from all the various apps I’ve tried.

The two features that I haven’t seen elsewhere in mental health apps that I especially love are:

- It lets you choose a cute animal friend as a companion to keep you socially motivated. To “wake up” and play with this friend, you need to complete 3 wellness tasks (that are super simple and easy), once you’ve done your daily checkin tasks, the cute animal wakes up to play with you. You can tickle it, talk to it, and even play dress up!! Much more motivating than apps that try to make you feel connected to real people, IMO.

- It includes a “calendar” feature (not a big overwhelming calendar like a normal app) that lets you add your own tasks to your daily checklist. So now, along with “checked in,” “completed quests,” and “take medication” I have an extra task that’s alerting me to the fact that I have an important phone call coming up. It made me describe this as “appointment”: “An appointment means someone is counting on you to be somewhere.” I think that might be the most motivating description of an appointment ever. As an anxious person who tends to cancel and reschedule everything, this app is already making me feel better.

A+++++++++ plz download now guys

Reblogging for anyone who might find this useful, or who knows someone who would!

Gonna add on because I was using this app for awhile and I should really go back to it:

The tasks are indeed catered to you, but are also catered to how you feel when you check in. So if you’re not feeling good, it’s not going to ask you to do something like, say, find a local event and go visit it. Instead, it will be something like ‘eat a fruit’, or ‘list three things that you’re proud of yourself for’.

Likewise, if you’re feeling pretty good, the app kind of challenges you to do something a little more demanding-which, of course you can refuse (unless it’s a list quest, you usually have a ‘I can’t do this right now’ button that will offer you an alternative quest after alternative quest).

And when you wake your buddy up, they give you an inspiring quote!

Finally, about the calendar: you can actually look back on your progress. Besides giving you stamps when you complete the day’s quests and remember to take your meds, clicking on a past date will also tell you what mood you were in when you checked in that day. So it’s a great record to help you establish what’s helping you and what’s not.

Like everyone else, I seriously recommend this app!

This sounds life-saving. Also, as someone who literally forgets things exist unless they’re in front of my face (executive disfunction? probably) this will probably be helpful.

So I was going to reblog this anyway, because I love this app, but the developer is the Vancouver Island Health Authority, which is where I live, which I found really interesting!

Hi! So um. @cam2209. You said earlier today that you’re not feeling very well, my dude. I don’t mean to sound demanding, or like a therapist, but I’m a little worried about you. Would you maybe look into this? It could help!

THIS IS SO HELPFUL.

Like, first of all, it’s very soothing and even on your worst days it still is all “that’s okay” and gives you simple tasks that you can do to earn points and make yourself feel better.  

There are also a bunch of exercises/tasks/coping methods you can call up when needed.  

Last fall, when I was starting my descent from “mildly depressed but functioning” to “really fucking depressed and hanging on by a thread,” this app helped me hang onto that thread.  It was the thing that made me smile, even if it was just for a second.

This app, along with Daylio, is what I use on a daily basis to track my mood and keep track of what I do, and what tasks might set me off, even if I don’t realize it at the time.  I can only recommend this free, cute and very helpful app!

I kept wanting to use this, and kept forgetting, and when i saw the post again i just stopped scrolling and downloaded it.

… and oh gosh this is going to be SO helpful.

I’ve always struggled with social anxiety and self-confidence in different areas. It waxes and wanes in amplitude, but it’s always there. This affects my ability to do research as I struggle to do things like use the phone, send emails asking people to do things in a timely fashion, and finish work due to perfectionism.  It was really bad a couple of years ago, during my PhD. We had official annual meetings with a member of staff to check on progress back then, which were a good idea but terrified the students. I always had mine with a member of faculty a lot of people are scared of. I’m not sure why, maybe because their courses were very difficult and they was a strict marker? I’d heard they’d mellowed over the years so maybe, like a fear of the dark, students’ wariness passed down the generations.  Whatever the reason, I’d never been scared of them, and always saw them as a fair mind when it came to assessing my progress. I wouldn’t believe myself or my friends mostly, but I’d trust them to tell the truth. On my last meeting they knew I wasn’t very well. I always cried in these meetings through stress/lifting of stress, so true to form the box of tissues were ready and they offered me a fruit tea. I had the summer fruits. It was really sweet and calming, and I didn’t need the tissues that year. We spoke at length about why I was struggling within myself when my work seemed perfectly fine, even really good in places. And we got talking about anxiety when not at work. Turns out both of us have similar social anxiety problems! We both struggle to go in a shop with no or few other customers, because we hate being watched by staff. It’s really specific but I bet it’s common haha. We both hate using the phone, even ordering take away is difficult! Maybe this is why I wasn’t scared of them?  At any rate, it was great to know I wasn’t alone, here was a full professor with the same problems I have, still doing science! But, I asked, how do you do it? How did you get this high up the ladder and not quit, or not take it out on yourself? How are you not anxious all the time? Oh, I am anxious, they said. I was really bad for years. Wouldn’t use the phone at all. But then I was made Head of Department.  That’s terrifying! What did you do? Well I was still anxious, about using the phone for example. But I realised, the Head of Department uses the phone to call people to get things sorted quickly. And at the moment, I’m Head of Department. That’s the hat I’m wearing. The Head of Department picks up the phone and the Head of Department speaks to people to Get Things Done. That’s a role I’m performing, that’s all, and people expect me to be the Head of Department. And it helped, and now I can use the phone because I’m used to it.  Hearing them say that was a bit of an epiphany. They weren’t saying “just suck it up”, it’s a complete reframing of the interaction. 

YOU might not like using the telephone to ask so-and-so to do something, but Scientist-In-Charge-Of-Making-This-Thing-Work DOES call Collaborators to remind them, and then Collaborators can respond that they forgot, or they have it scheduled in for next week, because it’s their role to do something. 

YOU might be scared of going into that shop, but a Potential Customer does go into shops and look around. Potential Customer might be asked by Sales Rep whether they need help, and Potential Customer can say just browsing. Sales Rep may watch Potential Customer browse, but that’s okay, because they’re waiting to perform their role. And when Potential Customer leaves the shop, they aren’t that role anymore, back to self. Interaction done. 

YOU might not want to email that person to ask them for a reference, BUT a Final Year Student DOES send the email, because part of their role is to get a reference at the end. And the person receiving the email also has a role, and that is Someone Who Sometimes Gets Reference Requests, that they can response Yes or No to. Then Final Year Student can get their reference about Final Year Student or can move on to someone else. Interaction over. Slate clean. Sometimes we get so caught up we forget that many of the things we do are divorced from our own self, and we worry about judgements from other people. But in a lot of our interactions, especially at work or school, we have a set of roles and rules. When it’s getting really hard for me to do things like email, phone, or go somewhere, it helps me to think of that Professor’s first day as Head of Department, them sitting there with that weight of responsibility and internally screaming as they pick up the phone the first time, because that’s what Head of Departments do. If they can do it and normalise it, I know I can too. One day! :) 

This is such great advice.

This sounds like emergency preparedness training, in a way, which really does boil down to “If you are in X role, here is what you do” and there’s so much patterning (this is why CPR training is every year) so that when a crisis happens that’s scary as shit, your role takes over.  People say, “I’m not good in a crisis” and that’s actually something training can overcome.  I have anxiety so bad right now that without medication my heart skips every 3rd or 4th beat. I’ve always had some form of anxiety or another, but it’s worse this year, and I’ve had to pay attention to it. NEVERTHELESS… I drive. I shop. If a crisis in the home comes up I deal with it. And I fall apart later. This doesn’t mean I always can, or that “because I can, you should” but that at some point, if I can turn on the script/pattern/role… shit gets done. 

I’m here. Ily.

Depression Suicide Hotline (US, UK, Canada & Singapore): 1-800-SUICIDE (2433) Suicide hotline (New Zealand): 0800 543 354 Depression hotline: 1-630-482-9696 Suicide Crisis Line: 1-800-999-9999 National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8245) National Adolescent Suicide Helpline: 1-800-621-4000 Postpartum Depression: 1-800-PPD-MOMS NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group: 1-800-826-3632 Veterans: 1-877-VET2VET Crisis Help Line – For Any Kind of Crisis: 1-800-233-4357 Suicide & Depression Crisis Line – Covenant House: 1-800-999-9999 Domestic Abuse National Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-422-4453 National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) National Domestic Violence Hotline (TDD): 1-800-787-32324 Center for the Prevention of School Violence: 1-800-299-6504 Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-548-2722 Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111 Child Abuse Hotline Support & Information: 1-800-792-5200 Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline (UK): 0345 023 468 Sexual Abuse Centre (UK): 0117 935 1707 Sexual Assault Support (24/7, English & Spanish): 1-800-223-5001 Domestic & Teen Dating Violence (English & Spanish): 1-800-992-2600 Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected] Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight Alcohol & Drug Abuse National Association for Children of Alcoholics: 1-888-55-4COAS (1-888-554-2627) National Drug Abuse: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) Al-Anon/Alateen Hope & Help for young people who are the relatives & friends of a problem drinker): 1-800-344-2666 Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) Be Sober Hotline: 1-800-BE-SOBER (1-800-237-6237) Cocaine Help Line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463) 24 Hour Cocaine Support Line: 1-800-992-9239 Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933 Marijuana Anonymous: 1-800-766-6779 Drinkline (UK): 0800 9178282 Frank (UK): 0800776600 Youth & Teen Hotlines National Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 Youth America Hotline: 1-877-YOUTHLINE (1-877-968-8454) Covenant House Nine-Line (Teens): 1-800-999-9999 Boys Town National: 1-800-448-3000 Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900 TeenLine: 1-800-522-8336 Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 or 1-800-422-0009 Runaway Support (All Calls are Confidential): 800-231-6946 Childline: (UK Only) 0800 1111 Kids Helpline (Australia) 1800 55 1800 b-eat youthline (UK): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) Pregnancy Hotlines AAA Crisis Pregnancy Center: 1-800-560-0717 Pregnancy Support: 1-800-4-OPTIONS (1-800-467-8466) Pregnancy National Helpline: 1-800-356-5761 Young Pregnant Support: 1-800 550-4900 Gay and Lesbian Hotlines The Trevor Helpline (For homosexuality questions or problems): 1-800-850-8078 Gay & Lesbian National Support: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564) Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Youth Support Line: 1-800-850-8078 Lesbian & Gay Switchboard: (UK Only) 0121 622 6589 Lothian Gay & Lesbian Switchboard – Scotland: (Scotland Only) 0131 556 4049 Other Hotlines Self-Injury Support: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) (www.selfinjury.com) Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention: 1-800-931-2237 (Hours: 8am-noon daily, PST) Eating Disorders Center: 1-888-236-1188 Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274) Panic Disorder Information and Support: 1-800-64-PANIC (1-800-647-2642) TalkZone (Peer Counselors): 1-800-475-TALK (1-800-475-2855) Parental Stress Hotline: 1-800-632-8188 National AIDS Helpline: (UK) 0800 567 123 Samaritans (UK): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected] b-eat eating disorder support (UK): 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected] Mind infoline (UK mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected] Mind legal advice (UK): 0300 466 6463 [email protected] Cruse Bereavement Care (UK): 08444779400 [email protected]

Suicide hotlines: Austria 01-713-3373 Australia 1-800-817-569 Barbados 429-9999 Brazil 21-233-9191 Canada 514-723-4000 China 852-2382-0000 Costa Rica 506-253-5439 Denmark 70-201-201 Egypt 7621602 Estonia 6-558-088 Finland 040-5032199 France 01-45-39-4000 Guatemala 502-254-1259 Holland 0900-0767 Honduras 504-237-3623 Hungary 62-420-111 India 91-22-307-3451 Italy 06-7045-4444 Japan 3-5286-9090 Maylaysia 03-756-8144 Maurititus 46-48-889 or 800-93-93 Mexico 525-510-2550 New Zealand 4-473-9739 Nicarague 505-268-6171 Norway 815-33-300 Poland 52-70-000 Portugal 239-72-10-10 Republic of Ireland 1850-60-90-90 Russia 8-20-222-82-10 Singapore 800-221-4444 or 000-227-0309 South Africa 0861-322-322 South Korea 2-715-8600 Spain 91-459-00-50 Sri Vincent 1-692-909 St. Vincent 809-456-1044 Sweden 031-711-2400 Switzerland 143 Thailand 02-249-9977 Trinidad & Tobago 868-645-2800 Ukraine 0487-327715 or 0482-226565 United Kingdom 08457-90-90-90 United States 1-800-SUICIDE (7842433), or 1-800-TALK (8255), or 1-800-827-7571 Reblog it.You may save a life!

Monument Valley honestly kept me from having a panic attack a few weeks ago. 

I was on hold with my bank for roughly a half hour because someone had stolen my debit card number and had charged a couple hundred dollars worth of stuff to it. All I could think about while I was on hold was what if my rent check bounces, I can’t afford the late fee I’ll be slapped with and I’m already on bad terms with my super - and I felt that horrible grip around my chest squeezing down and my breathing getting faster. 

Normally I can just drink a cold glass of water and sit in front of my ac (to remind myself that no, my throat is not actually closing up, and that yes, I can still successfully get air into my lungs with the help of a fan) but this time neither of those tricks did anything. Well actually that’s not true, they reminded me that I was alone in my apartment, and if couldn’t find a way to calm down, I wouldn’t necessarily be able to get help - which only scared the shit out of me even more. 

So I sat in front of my AC and pulled up the brightest, happiest looking app I have on phone, which is Monument Valley, and within ten minutes of building pathways to guide the princess through the castle I was breathing normally.  I found myself thinking, look at this bitch, you’re already solving this, this will be cleared up with your bank in the next half hour, and in case your check bounces, you’ll have documentation as to why to show your landlord. On good days, it’s sometimes honestly as simple as helping a tiny me walk through a beautiful castle while solving simple puzzles to remind myself:

I got this.

i made a bot that scans ao3 for f/f pairings and posts the ones where it’s actually prominent in the work and not just some background pairing

To show your support for creating inclusive and safer restrooms for all folks, please go tohttp://www.bathroom.support/ to print off some of these posters!

“We look forward to the day when public restrooms need no gender description and our only worry will be whether or not there is toilet paper.We all just want to pee in peace.”

http://ow.ly/4n7pcn

on scent-free & how to accommodate chemically sensitive people: some basics

we see a lot of places now being branded “scent-free” to seem more accessible, but anyone who has chemical sensitivities or allergies can tell as soon as they go in and have a painful / uncomfortable / potentially life-threatening reaction that most are actually not

so how do you *really* accommodate chemically sensitive people at an event, a public space, or where you live? here are a few very general points:

and last but not least: please don’t take other people’s accessibility needs personally

if someone asks you to wash off your perfume or not wear your favourite deodorant around them or change your clothes after smoking, it’s not a criticism of you - we just want to be able to breathe.

here are some lists of low-scent products, with the warning that many will still be a problem for a lot of people so it’s important to pay attention to individual needs:

link 1: http://www.anapsid.org/cnd/mcs/unscent.html

link 2: http://www.cmu.ca/docs/studentlife/CMU_Scent-Free_Product_List.pdf

link 3: http://www.toxicsinfo.org/canary/shortdalhousielist.htm

link 4: http://berkeleyzencenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/fragrance.pdf

a final note: access needs can and often do conflict (for example, someone who smokes to deal with sensory overload needing to be in the same space as someone who’s allergic to smoke), and it sucks and can be really hard to work out and sometimes it’s impossible. this doesn’t make it any less important to make accessibility a main concern and not an occasional afterthought.

A super quick trick for drawing draped fabric that my art teacher taught me in high school.

THIS IS HOW IT’S DONE

woah omg