(((nataluna)))

HOT TAKE: Every single Master/Missy is a performative entity, a donned moniker of ultimate autonomy and domination, but nowhere is this MORE evident than with Dhawan!Master, simply for the facts that:

1) the narrative and writing allow us to see him BOTH in scenes with people and then entirely alone, allowing a sharp contrast between how he acts and how he really feels,

and

2) never is his neurodivergency and his need to “pass” (as do, painfully, so many of us IRL) as “functioning and normal” and “in control” in front of his adversaries, more vividly explored than it is in Sacha Dhawan’s performance, 

and

3) never is it clearer that he is severely mentally ill–that is, suicidally depressed, making those sharp contrasts between performative and authentic self more jarringly blatant. 

Tagging: @mastershearts​  @modernwizard​ @natalunasans​  @brokenbluedoors​ and all others interested in the discourse on neurodiversity and the Master. 

I agree with almost all of this, although I dispute the distinction that’s being made between “performative” and “authentic.” The Master is a performative person, but all the roles that they play are true. I’m not saying that they’re just performances all the way down, only that the roles that they play are never just performances. They’re also ways in which the Master accentuates and expresses aspects of themself.

Look at a few of the roles that Dhawan Master plays, and you can see this clearly.

The role of O at home allows him to express his admiration for, interest in, and love for the Doctor.

The role of O at the party shows his charm as he befriends Yaz and easily wins her confidence.

The role of explosive guy on explosive plane gives him an outlet for all the excitement, playfulness, and rage that he’s been bottling up as O.

The role of inventor of the Incredible Shrinking Device plays up his theatricality, his resort to violence, and his need for an audience.

The role of Nazi is actually kind of interesting in terms of “passing,” but that’s probably another separate entry. He’s playing a Nazi because he’s a fucking Space Nazi, from the murderous sense of superiority to the creation of a supposedly superior race.

The role of Ozymandias [”Look on my works, Doctor, and despair!”] channels both his love of power plays and also his dim awareness that he’s probably eventually doomed.

The role of guide to the Matrix accentuates his obsessive pursuit of knowledge, his focus on details, and his literal need to control the narrative.

The role of Cyberium host reminds us that this is a character with a long history of impulsive, ill-advised collaborations with entities that end up turning on him.

The role of creator of the CyberMasters highlights how much his life, like that of the CyberMasters, has been shaped by being under someone else’s control, unwillingly altered, and forced to fight.

I haven’t listed all highlights of every role. I’m just trying to point out that Dhawan Master, like all other Masters, draws from himselves with everyone he plays. You see different facets of him in every role. All the performances are true. All the roles are selves. All the selves are performative. All of him is authentic.

@sclfmastery @brokenbluedoors @mastershearts @natalunasans

I’ve always struggled with social anxiety and self-confidence in different areas. It waxes and wanes in amplitude, but it’s always there. This affects my ability to do research as I struggle to do things like use the phone, send emails asking people to do things in a timely fashion, and finish work due to perfectionism.  It was really bad a couple of years ago, during my PhD. We had official annual meetings with a member of staff to check on progress back then, which were a good idea but terrified the students. I always had mine with a member of faculty a lot of people are scared of. I’m not sure why, maybe because their courses were very difficult and they was a strict marker? I’d heard they’d mellowed over the years so maybe, like a fear of the dark, students’ wariness passed down the generations.  Whatever the reason, I’d never been scared of them, and always saw them as a fair mind when it came to assessing my progress. I wouldn’t believe myself or my friends mostly, but I’d trust them to tell the truth. On my last meeting they knew I wasn’t very well. I always cried in these meetings through stress/lifting of stress, so true to form the box of tissues were ready and they offered me a fruit tea. I had the summer fruits. It was really sweet and calming, and I didn’t need the tissues that year. We spoke at length about why I was struggling within myself when my work seemed perfectly fine, even really good in places. And we got talking about anxiety when not at work. Turns out both of us have similar social anxiety problems! We both struggle to go in a shop with no or few other customers, because we hate being watched by staff. It’s really specific but I bet it’s common haha. We both hate using the phone, even ordering take away is difficult! Maybe this is why I wasn’t scared of them?  At any rate, it was great to know I wasn’t alone, here was a full professor with the same problems I have, still doing science! But, I asked, how do you do it? How did you get this high up the ladder and not quit, or not take it out on yourself? How are you not anxious all the time? Oh, I am anxious, they said. I was really bad for years. Wouldn’t use the phone at all. But then I was made Head of Department.  That’s terrifying! What did you do? Well I was still anxious, about using the phone for example. But I realised, the Head of Department uses the phone to call people to get things sorted quickly. And at the moment, I’m Head of Department. That’s the hat I’m wearing. The Head of Department picks up the phone and the Head of Department speaks to people to Get Things Done. That’s a role I’m performing, that’s all, and people expect me to be the Head of Department. And it helped, and now I can use the phone because I’m used to it.  Hearing them say that was a bit of an epiphany. They weren’t saying “just suck it up”, it’s a complete reframing of the interaction. 

YOU might not like using the telephone to ask so-and-so to do something, but Scientist-In-Charge-Of-Making-This-Thing-Work DOES call Collaborators to remind them, and then Collaborators can respond that they forgot, or they have it scheduled in for next week, because it’s their role to do something. 

YOU might be scared of going into that shop, but a Potential Customer does go into shops and look around. Potential Customer might be asked by Sales Rep whether they need help, and Potential Customer can say just browsing. Sales Rep may watch Potential Customer browse, but that’s okay, because they’re waiting to perform their role. And when Potential Customer leaves the shop, they aren’t that role anymore, back to self. Interaction done. 

YOU might not want to email that person to ask them for a reference, BUT a Final Year Student DOES send the email, because part of their role is to get a reference at the end. And the person receiving the email also has a role, and that is Someone Who Sometimes Gets Reference Requests, that they can response Yes or No to. Then Final Year Student can get their reference about Final Year Student or can move on to someone else. Interaction over. Slate clean. Sometimes we get so caught up we forget that many of the things we do are divorced from our own self, and we worry about judgements from other people. But in a lot of our interactions, especially at work or school, we have a set of roles and rules. When it’s getting really hard for me to do things like email, phone, or go somewhere, it helps me to think of that Professor’s first day as Head of Department, them sitting there with that weight of responsibility and internally screaming as they pick up the phone the first time, because that’s what Head of Departments do. If they can do it and normalise it, I know I can too. One day! :) 

This is such great advice.

This sounds like emergency preparedness training, in a way, which really does boil down to “If you are in X role, here is what you do” and there’s so much patterning (this is why CPR training is every year) so that when a crisis happens that’s scary as shit, your role takes over.  People say, “I’m not good in a crisis” and that’s actually something training can overcome.  I have anxiety so bad right now that without medication my heart skips every 3rd or 4th beat. I’ve always had some form of anxiety or another, but it’s worse this year, and I’ve had to pay attention to it. NEVERTHELESS… I drive. I shop. If a crisis in the home comes up I deal with it. And I fall apart later. This doesn’t mean I always can, or that “because I can, you should” but that at some point, if I can turn on the script/pattern/role… shit gets done.