the thing is, if your younger self was a bigot or an abuser, u can't make people forgive you. but you still gotta forgive yourself, like that's non-negotiable, dude. that happens before u can even ask the question of earning forgiveness from anyone lese

oops, in your attempt to martyr yourself out of respect for your victims you accidentally sabotaged your own ability to conceptualize yourself as anything but a perpetual evildoer who is always one bad day away from hurting everyone you love, all but guaranteeing history to repeat itself. rookie mistake

im gonna try explaining myself, cus im a gambling addict and im waiting for the day that it actually works.

"forgiveness" is personal, that's why I said in the post that you might inflict harm on people for which they can never forgive you, but that's their quest. if you abuse someone, you can't go no-contact with yourself. you actually keep living in your own head indefinitely, and ultimately you need to learn to live with yourself in order to continue living a full life without further harm. this is not necessarily an anti-carceral thought, although i am generally anti-carceral myself. I simply want people to like, fix their heart and atone for real with measured accountability & self love instead of dissociating, self-marking themselves forever and guaranteeing their recidivism.

You and a remorseful abuser would both think I'm giving the easy, coddling path. It's actually the tough pragmatic path in disguise.

Ok. I see where you going, but I strongly disagree. The one person who can't be allowed to forgive ones crimes is oneself.

Even if everyone else has forgiven you for the abuse you did, you must never allow yourself to let what you did be forgiven. Once you've done that, you've gotten to the point where you might do it again.

Never let up. Always strive towards improvement. Never let yourself live down the horrors of the past. Only by comparing ourselves to who we were can we grow.

this is called OCD

It’s so fucking frustrating to argue about this on tumblr.com. Because people might pay lip service to the idea of criminal justice reform or even prison abolition. But deep down they always come back to the Calvinism of it all: there are good people (victims) and bad people (abusers) and once someone has revealed themselves to be an abuser they can never be forgiven, never be part of society again.

And if you believe the world works like that one other thing also has to be true: You know you are a ‘good person’, so nothing you ever do could be truly abusive. You could never truly harm another person. And if you did they must have deserved it. Because you are a good person.

And wow, does that not just sound like something abusers usually say, when confronted with their own behavior?

I would leave the rest up to the reader but because we are on the piss on the poor reading comprehension site here, I’m going to spell it out: get comfortable with your own fallibility. Acknowledge that you could indeed severely harm someone else. And that means that you NEED to learn to forgive yourself.

What exactly is the alternative to "letting abusers remain in society"?

Locking people up for the rest of their lives doesn't really fix anything. (And does, absolutely, result in innocent people being locked up forever, too.)

Banishing people from being around other people doesn't work - we've seen that with the sex offender registry and how it increases recidivism rates. (And how it becomes a slippery slope where people get placed on it for crimes like public urination or sending nude selfies as a teenager, and then aren't able to work or live anywhere.)

Is your goal less harm happening in general, or is it just punishing people you don't like?

If people who were causing harm before stop causing harm, that's a net good in the world. There does actually need to be a path back into society for people who acknowledge the harm they've done and try to be better - even if YOU never speak to them again. (Certainly there are people I'm never forgiving for anything!)

The world isn't a better place just because Bad People(tm) are self-flagellating forever. "If you do something bad you go to Hell forever" is, weirdly, not an effective way to run a society.

Familia Madrigal Beach Day! 🏖️

Keep reading

aaand Camilo is done ! 

He’s a Disney Store Mirabel head on a Decendants Jay body that I modded to have action figure hands. Outfit and face up by me. I don’t usually get two customs done within days of each other, so don’t expect this ever again. I’m tired. 

But hey, now I have the yellow branch of the family! All of them are customs by me, except Antonio, who is from the Disney store set. 

loki show is about found family

whatever else all three of them are, they are that first

so i might be stepping out of line making this post but i feel it needs to be made so yolo i guess.

i know a lot of millenials have a sort of knee-jerk negative reaction towards abrahamic religions (really mostly christianity and judaism) and i understand. really, i get it. my dad is a pastor, and he used his religon to abuse, demean, and control me at every opportunity. he regularly tells my sisters that he’s “so sad im going to hell” and other sundry passive aggressive nonsense, so trust me i get it. i understand how a certain religion can be triggering to someone.

but there is a very important point here, and i really hope you understand this.

you cannot let it make you prejudiced, and, let me be clear here, im talking specifically about antisemitism.

i know exactly whats going on in your head, because for a long time it was what was going on in my head. you hear the word “judaism” and you have flashbacks to sunday school and the old testament and all the times you sat in a church and felt personally attacked, and you associate that with judaism and jewish people because most of the things that upset you were in the old testament. 

you can have your triggers, but you can’t let those triggers become an excuse to further marginalize a minority thats already attacked from literally every position of power there is. every major religion has leaders who are antisemitic, every country has a history of marginalizing jewish people, every person on the planet grows up in an inherently antisemitic world and has to unlearn that sort of toxic mindset.

and maybe this post should have been made by a jewish person, or somebody with more education on the subject than me but i think its really important that people don’t let their personal experiences with organized religion turn them into the kind of prejudiced person that hurt them in the first place. 

as a romni i have a shared tragedy with jewish people, so i feel like it was easier for me to step back and be like “woah, your thought process here is super toxic and you need to stop” but i feel like a lot of white christian-raised people don’t really have that touchstone and need somebody to be like “wake up, what you are doing is wrong”

I can remove this if you want but I feel a strong need to reblog

as a jew, i’m gonna add to this.

first of all. we don’t have a lot of allies speaking for us genuinely, instead of because of some sort of twisted “jesus was jewish” or “i can secretly defend my faith or politics using jews as pawns” so when y’all do it means a lot. we don’t see it much, so don’t feel bad for making this post.

second of all, the part that you didn’t know, through no real fault of your own, is that the version you learn in sunday school or from non-jewish sources? that isn’t even remotely how jews understand that source.

jews have a totally different relationship with our holy text than christians do. every jewish person is expected to know the “old testament” cover to cover then to freely access and participate in millennia of commentary and debate on it. the core book of jewish law is just a book of debates and discussions, many of which don’t even come with firm answers. and whenever it’s printed, it’s printed with centuries worth of commentary in the margins.

if you have and issue with or felt personally attacked by any part of the “old testament” i can guarantee that there are pages and pages of jewish commentary about that from the point of view you were looking for and several dozen you haven’t even considered. jews have never stopped questioning and arguing about this thing.

so when non-jews make the assumption that our religion is some sort of backwards or primitive thing based on a text they don’t care for, they are doing jews a double disservice.

i guarantee you some 1st century BCE judaen made the point that not eating shrimp because a book says to is kinda silly far more eloquently than you did, pal. heck. there’s a rabbi in the talmud who just straight up becomes a heretic.

judaism has been around and has been evolving as a culture and a religion longer than christianity has existed. it’s one of the oldest living traditions on the planet and its still growing and evolving.

i was going to add exactly the same thing: anything you learned about jews from christian sources, anything you learned from the “old testament” (which is obviously not our term for it), has nothing to do with actual judaism, our beliefs, or our practices. antisemitism is intrinsic to christianity, so if you expect them to tell you the truth about us, think again.

i also feel like it may be relevant to mention that this can also prevent a lot of secular/ethnic jews from wanting to connect to judaism as well. when you’re raised in a christian society, you internalize a lot of what you see & hear, even if you dont know or believe in the specific religious aspects of it.

i really only had interactions with christianity growing up, first through being dragged along to church with friends (usually after a saturday-night sleepover) & later when, through no fault of my family, i ended up at a baptist middle school for 3 years (listen, it’s a looong story). it was at this time i was also realizing i was attracted to girls, so obviously the environment was very toxic & damaging to me.

i came out of that place never wanting to have any interaction with religion ever again. i had no interest in connecting to my jewish identity on a spiritual or even communal level. christianity paints judaism as basically half-christian, only more punitive & primitive. over a decade later, when i finally began to sit down & actually learn about judaism, i found it was the complete opposite.

i’m not going to go into all the differences between christianity & judaism here (as tempted as i am), but i want to reiterate the above commenters & say: if you only know about judaism from christian sources or from a christian perspective (culturally or religiously), you don’t actually know anything about judaism. don’t associate our beliefs with what christianity taught you, because i guarantee you’ve been lied to about us your whole life.

call me ignorant but i genuinely don’t understand why sports have to be split up by gender.

@ everyone in the notes talking about physical performance: if that were the case, then sports would be divided by physical performance. that’s a thing you can measure. that’s a thing that varies by individual. a weak man and a strong man would be an unfair fight in boxing/wrestling/MMA, which is why they divide those sports up into weight groups based on physical performance. but they also further segregate them based on gender. chess is segregated by gender for no reason but sexism. if it’s actually about skill and physical ability, then measure those and separate people by those metrics. don’t do some bullshit gender segregation and pretend like men and women are inherently on different levels no matter their individual abilities.

Remember that time a teenage girl struck out Babe Ruth? That’s fucking why. Men are afraid of being beaten by women.

Remember that time male swimmers were pulled out of training because Kate Ledecky was leaving them ‘broken’ by swimming better than them? Remember how she didn’t even notice, because she was busy actually training?

Shooting is a sport that has no reliance on strength and so any allowance for gender variation is irrelevant. The last time there was a mixed competition (1992) a chinese woman named Zhang Shan won it.

It’s often presented as for the benefit of women. After all, they’ll be heartbroken when they‘re hurt or bested by men.

Projection is a hell of a drug. 

this is why they drug test Serena like crazy. the believe no woman should be that good. let alone a black woman. and black women have always been considered “manly” and less feminine.

also can we talk about how surfing is segregated as well? like how the dude who won this years international surfing cup or whatever was given $30,000 worth of prize money, while the woman who won the women’s comp was only awarded like $16,000 of prize money???? or whatever it was. but I know it was either half or less than half of what the man won. like why can’t they get the same prize money and when they’re competing internationally in the same competition? they surely have the same level of skill and talent.

the pay gap in sports between men and women is fucking insane.

The pay gaps, not to mention lack of sponsorships for women athletes who don’t look like models is insane. If you weigh over 250 pounds, no one will sponsor you. It’s why most female Olympic-class weightlifters live in poverty/out of their cars.

Reminder that in international (and usually national too) womens athletics anybody with 5m/mol of natural testosterone or higher is disqualified. (See legal case of Dutee Chand vs IAAF.)

Do you or somebody you know have PCOS? You are banned from international womens athletics because you are supposedly in posession of an unreasonable advantage in sports.

Folks disqualified for hyper-androgenism in womens athletics.

Francine Niyonsaba

Caster Semenya

Dutee Chand

Margaret Wambui

And more

-

Why are those disqualified overwhelmingly black and brown? Because testing is case by case when an athletes performance “raises suspicions”. They overwhelmingly test athletes of colour, for being too fast and not meeting white expectations of femininity.

Racism and intersexism(discrimination against intersex people) in sports is abject evil. Desegregate sports.

bringing this back in light of the blatant racism and misogynoir in the olympics

diversity win! the time lord blowing up your planet is nonbinary

Is this about the Master or the Doctor ? Unless it’s about Rassilon ?

we all have a limit to the bad things characters can do until we're not comfortable liking them but tbh some of you are just super fucking boring

If s13 refutes the 6B Ruth!Doctor theory I will be so mad 

stop laughing at the idea of men having periods stop laughing at the image of men buying hygiene products because its sooo unthinkable to you stop saying “boys have no idea what its like to be on your period!” stop laughing at the idea of pregnant men and stop laughing at pictures or fanfictions of mpreg or whatever my body is not a joke acknowlede me acknowledge the fact that there are people who get periods and can get pregnant besides cis women its not a “female” experience

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QGjkFbpjgys

If Guys Got Their Period (SOME DO!) by Kovu Kingsrod

Not to be a bitter Jew but I’m thinking back to all those years when I was in college far away from my family and couldn’t go home for Rosh Hashanah or Passover because I had class right before and after. Meanwhile people can’t or won’t skip Thanksgiving this year even though there’s a pandemic. Astonishing tbh

gonna be spicy and not leave this in the tags

My friends and I watched white people gather for Thanksgiving, cases spiked, then the entire Punjabi Sikh community was blamed for the spike when Diwali rolled around.

We didn’t get Vaisakhi or Navratre either and we probably aren’t getting Vaisakhi or New Year’s next year but we’re still staying in and minimizing time at the local gurdware.

This year, Jews stayed home for Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot.

Muslims stayed home for Hajj.

Hindus and Sikhs stayed home for Diwali.

Christians and atheists need to pull their shit together and stay home for Thanksgiving and Christmas! Missing one year won’t kill you!

[ID: a screenshot of a tag that reads “#white middle class abled cultural christians just really do not have a concept of not being able to do a thing.” End ID]

now this is a voting take I can get behind. this is the shit we're out here trying to tell y'all "what will voting do anyway" bullshitters

“queers angrily voting for biden as a form of harm reduction”

“mutual aid is where it’s at before or after the election”

THEORY: A coherent way to harmonise various issues surrounding the Master’s regenerations and the drumming exists.

Okay, so I finally got around to reading the Eleventh Doctor comics Year 1 and 2, which are actually really good. I admit, I wasn’t reading them for Eleven or his companions (though I quickly fell in love with Alice), but for the Master content in Year 2. For those who don’t know, in these comics there’s a child Master who fights alongside the War Doctor during the Time War. I wasn’t sure what he’d be like but I ended up really enjoying his characterisation. It’s a bit unclear in the comic if the kid is a separate incarnation who regenerates into Jacobi!Master, or is in fact a young Jacobi himself, but it doesn’t really matter as either works for my theory.

Now, what if we suppose this child is actually the child we see in the TSoD flashbacks, rather than that child being the original Master? I think some people have theorised something along these lines before—it would certainly explain why previous Masters never heard the drums.

Here’s a side by side comparison of the characters (though the comic Master’s appearance does vary depending on the art style):

My theory is that the Time Lords resurrected the Master as an agent for the CIA, resulting in Macqueen!Master, who soon goes rogue because, well, he’s the Master (all of this being more or less canon as per Dark Eyes). At some point in the future they get him back, and decide to try again. It’s possible he’s already regenerated at this point, or they force-regenerate him, but whatever the case, he ends up as a child, who they can raise and mold more easily (or so they think, anyway). During the course of his new training, they put him through the initiation ceremony (and, sidenote, if he was being raised as an agent for the CIA, this would explain why he’s wearing CIA robes), and he hears the drumming when he looks into the Untempered Schism. Later, Rassilon has his grand idea and is the one who sends that signal back to that moment in time.

Anyway, the upshot of all this is that the Master never heard the drumming during their original regeneration cycle.

This also means we don’t know what the very first incarnation of the Master looked like, which leads me to my next theory: Delgado was the first Master—but he was also the regeneration before Crispy.

Basically, during his first regeneration cycle, the Master pulled the same trick Braxiatel does regularly (and Ten does in Journey’s End)—he just keeps regenerating into the same form. There’s some evidence for this, since Delgado’s Infernoverse counterpart appears to have regenerated with the same features multiple times in The Face of the Enemy, and we also know the Master is just very fond of that aesthetic.

This could even explain how the Master went straight from Delgado (most likely an early incarnation in my opinion) to Crispy (his last regeneration) so quickly, without any of the incarnations in-between showing up. Simply put, he may have regenerated several times already during the course of the Third Doctor’s era, and one would never know because he kept the same face and personality. That, plus the Master’s knack for getting into trouble, makes the jump to Crispy slightly less jarring than it initially appears. It also makes the events of Legacy of the Daleks (Delgado turning into Crispy) more plausible. If you go with Crispy’s Big Finish origins, however (which I definitely prefer), it can still fit—perhaps the Master decided to try out a new face for his last incarnation (Crispy probably looked something like Geoffrey Beevers before he was fried), or the circumstances of his regeneration prevented him from choosing the face he wanted, or maybe he just realised his previous face was becoming too recognisable—which is always a disadvantage when you’re an intergalactic criminal.

Whatever the case, this would explain where the many “missing” incarnations from the Master’s first regeneration cycle are—they’re not really missing at all, they’re just all Delgado.

This is so simple it has to be canon.

Attention Christians Re: Passover Seders

Don’t host “Christian Seders.”

I know you want to “do what Jesus did,” but I got news for you. Jesus never attended a Seder. He ate a Passover meal. There is a difference.

The Seder is a rabbinic creation that came about after the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. It’s based on a Greek symposium, which was basically a wine party where attendants discussed a philosophical topic in depth (cf. Plato’s Symposium). It was created as a way for Jews to continue celebrating Passover despite the fact that we could no longer offer the sacrifice. The Haggadah is the text and ritual outline we use to tell and remember the story of the Exodus, which didn’t exist in the time of Jesus.

Throughout history, Christians have slaughtered Jews during Passover and Easter. For Christians to now steal a Jewish ritual after centuries of slaughter is adding insult to injury. Don’t do it.

If you want to commemorate Jesus’ last meal, by all means host a dinner on Maundy Thursday (not Passover) with bread and wine, and tell your religion’s own story of the passion of Jesus. But don’t do a Seder that Jesus never even would have heard of, much less participated in.

For Canadians unsure of how long to wash their hands for

@chromalogue​

Poor Crowley had a terrible nightmare.

//Listen, I just needed an excuse to draw Aziraphale wearing an 80′s wedding dress…

The fact that humans can be killed through physical means is so ridiculous to me

Like this sounds wild but like. hear me out. a person is such a ridiculously infinitely complicated web of thoughts and feelings and beliefs and such an unbelievably huge amount of knowledge and the idea that you can destroy that by holding a pillow over someone’s face for three minutes is absolutely surreal. The idea that you can remove knowledge and emotion and memory from the world with a physical object is literally unbelievable. people are literally infinitely huge and complex and the fact that you can kill the person by killing the body is wild. I’m sure this is incoherent but I hope you get it

It’s like. Imagine you threw a fist-sized rock at the empire state building and the entire thing and everything inside it collapsed into dust. That’s what the existence of human death feels like

The next update will fix it so that humans can only be perma-killed through the use of one particular magic dagger.

this intuition is exactly how we ended up with the idea of souls, spirits, ghosts, the afterlife,