Speaking from the perspective, specifically, of a white Jewish convert who is not psychotic but does have heavily stigmatized personality disorders: @your-aspd-dad, I get what you’re trying to say here, and it’s a valid point - psychotic people face wildly unfair and dangerous stigma, and after a while everyone who says you’re saying some evil shit sounds the same. You’re fucking exhausted by people giving you suspicious looks - or even outright accusations! - because of a mental health symptom you can’t help, and that’s fair. You deserve better.
But, while I absolutely believe this was not your intent, what you’ve essentially said here is “Jewish people, please lay down your lives for my comfort.”
Speaking from extensive experience existing on tumblr as an Outspoken Trans Jew, somewhere between 80 and 90% of the time you tell someone “Hey, that thing you just said was a [Nazi|TERF] dogwhistle, could you please reexamine that?” the response is going to be “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A [NAZI|TERF]?”
So, if we’re to accommodate you as you request, we can’t object to antisemitic dogwhistles at all, lest we be taken as accusing a psychotic person.
You’ve offered us one safe option: We’re allowed to disengage when someone starts saying antisemitic things. We can walk away.
Sorry, but the moment that becomes our only strategy, we lose the ability to participate in public at all, because Nazis will latch on to it.
So… as I see it, you have two options here:
1. When Jewish people ask you for advice on how to reasonably and safely accommodate you, work with us.
2. Accept that we are going to prioritize not dying over not being ableist, even those of us who suffer under ableism and sanism.
Okay, with all that said, what’s my actual strategy?
In real life, err on the side of caution. One red flag is enough to mark a person as Threat; two (or one very blatant one) is enough to put the word out to the community.
Online, if somebody presents two red flags, I’ll do a quick sniff test of their blog; finding a third red flag is a fail, as is a general eau de Nazi. (There’s a lot of concrete factors that go into that, but even if I could articulate them all I wouldn’t want to for security reasons.)
If this is a single red flag that seems out of left field, they get one gentle warning, like I described earlier: “Hey, what you’re saying is really antisemitic <possible explanation if I’m feeling generous or patient or think it’s low risk>, maybe reeexamine that?”
And I will watch their response very carefully.
If they fly into a “HOW DARE YOU!” then they’re not actively Nazis, but they’re useful stooges for them - people who are more concerned with making sure nobody gets accused of being a Nazi than with not actually doing Nazi things.
Any new antisemitic red flag is a Nazi, as is anyone who tries to argue the point too cleverly and patiently.
Anyone who actually takes this at face value, apologizes, and corrects what they’re saying (or stops saying those things in public, if it’s not something they can correct outright) gets a green flag - they’re unusually safe and genuine allies.